gifting grandson money

Thanks again to you all. I know that hindsight is a wonderful thing but lots of your advice and comments re your own experiences would have been wonderful ten years ago.
Although I don't know MissAdventure's story, what she writes makes me put this current situation in perspective.

I can see where you are coming from . I have always given DGC presents plus money into their bank accounts at birthdays and Christmas . I had hoped that this would build up a nice nest egg for them when they are older but once they were in their teen they were allowed to spend the money as they wished. One is keen on saving one likes all the latest tec equiptment. Nothing I can do or say about it .

I think I'll seek legal advice next time I want to treat the boys.

It's all so complicated!

Imarocker

We give the GC money via bank transfer and then give them a mock cheque to tell them how much. A 10 yr old should have a Go Henry card or similar so they can go shopping with the card and not cash.

None of mine have gohenry, don't agree with the monthly charge when they can have a normal bank account with debit card when they are 11 at the bank we use. I'm not handing £3.99 to gohenry when the kids could have it.

I have 4 children, they all have a partner and between them 8 children. So I have 16 of them and gave up with presents a while ago. I send each of them money for birthdays/Christmas. Once I send it it isn't mine so it is up to them what they do with it. Some is saved for children, some is given to them for things they want to buy and some families combine the gift and buy something like an annual pass for attractions or national trust. As long as they enjoy it I'm fine with it.

No you don’t have to go in the bank with the parent *nannarose/ mine were in NZ so pretty impossible

We give the GC money via bank transfer and then give them a mock cheque to tell them how much. A 10 yr old should have a Go Henry card or similar so they can go shopping with the card and not cash.

Thanks for the info about bank accounts.
I think I probably did know that - but was thinking that you would need to discuss it with a parent. Either to be given the birth certificate or go into the bank with them. So it still involves the parent and can't be done without their compliance.
It seems that the important thing is to be clear about the purpose of the money. Our GCs have a 'savings' account that they manage themselves and can withdraw after saving up for a cycle, surfboard or similar. Birthday & Xmas money would go into that, but could be spent immediately. It is separate from the 'not to be touched until you're 18' account - in our family we put money in that one regularly.

There is a difference between the "nest egg" approach for childrens accounts save for the future

And the "here's a present, spend it how you best like". My grandchildren have both sorts of accounts.

If its the giving a present kind of gift then what I did was first consult the parent and then, given the go ahead, asked the child (then 11) if they wanted it in their personal bank account or cash.

They chose their bank account to save up for something they wanted, but its entirely different from the accounts in there name set aside for the future.

But at 10 or 11 years old the attraction of cash in hand - no harm there.

Perhaps there was something that the grandson particularly wanted to buy and that’s what happened. It’s so easy to get wound up in the moment and on reflection one calms down and drama over!

I have the opposite problem. My gs is now a big teen and I have put money in since he was born. However my son hadn't told him and wants it kept until he needs a big amount for uni or a car.
I don't usually give him anything when he visits but I see all his other family give him 10 or 20 when he visits. He must think I'm very mean.

Yes you can open a savings account for a grandchild Nanarose I did You just need a birth certificate then bingo

Open a savings account for each grandchild Sky53 then put in what you want, when you want, it’s all in your control until you decide to give it to them and no son daughter or anyone else needs to be in the equation

I think that you need to agree on the purpose of this money with your son. If you are giving presents as well, maybe you had hoped that the money would remain in their accounts until they were older? This seems to me to be a perfectly reasonable sensible expectation as presumably, they don't need it now..
But if that is the case then you should tell your son.. and perhaps agree that the children also know that it is for when they are older and perhaps need it for college expenses.
It might be possible for them to add to it as they get older and get part-time work and learn about handling their own accounts..

Grandparents can open savings accounts for their grandchildren, but they do need to show some form of identity to do so. (Usually birth certificate).

The advantages are that you are in control of it and secondly it's more tax efficient. Interest on the child’s account won’t be taxed if the money comes from a grandparent – unlike money given by a parent, when any interest over £100 a year is taxed as if it was earned by the parent.

ferry23

I suppose what you do next hinges on the type of family dynamics you have, but if you want to gift money to your grandchildren as a kind of nest egg for when they get older, isn't that up to you how you choose to do it?

I'm not sure why you feel you have to keep consulting your son about how you should build up the savings for them. It's your money to start with and your grandchildren are the recipients, but it seems your son is in control of it. Whilst it's always wise to take a bit of a step back as a grandparent and accept that you're not the parent, it seems a bit extreme to me that you can't choose how to treat your own grandchildren.

But whatever you do next I'm sure it will all smooth over.

As I understand it, you can't open a bank account in someone else's name unless you have parental responsibility. So, you can do as my mum did, and open an account in her name, specifying in her will that 'account no. xxxx is for Joe Bloggs'; or you can ask the parents what they are doing about bank accounts and get the details for paying in.

It seems to me that there was a muddle about the purpose of the money in OP's case. We have always specified ' this money' (a fairly small amount at birthdays & Xmas) is for you to spend however you want' and 'this money' (a regular payment into an account) is for the future.

I gave a visiting grandchild cash , he thanked me very politely , but later I heard a very anxious whispered conversation, he hadn’t a clue what to do with it , he was so used to using his card all the time
I offered to take it back and he watched me transfer the same sum to his account !
I was rather sad to tell the truth , I have fond memories of being given big shiny coins by elderly relations ,
It was more real I think , maybe this child’s Dad wanted the real money to make sense to the child ?

It’s a storm in a teacup.

Yes, that's my opinion too and I am still rather bemused by this.

I tend to put money in DD's or DS's bank account, they can either give them cash or buy what they know they'd like or transfer it on to their cards.

Unless I'm asked for a specific item for a present I don't buy gifts apart from small item(s) to open as a surprise.

I suppose what you do next hinges on the type of family dynamics you have, but if you want to gift money to your grandchildren as a kind of nest egg for when they get older, isn't that up to you how you choose to do it?

I'm not sure why you feel you have to keep consulting your son about how you should build up the savings for them. It's your money to start with and your grandchildren are the recipients, but it seems your son is in control of it. Whilst it's always wise to take a bit of a step back as a grandparent and accept that you're not the parent, it seems a bit extreme to me that you can't choose how to treat your own grandchildren.

But whatever you do next I'm sure it will all smooth over.

Thank you all very much for your advice. You've given me a lot to think about until I talk about the situation with my son.

I agree with BlueBelle. Not worth a family feud. Give the children cash as a treat and save for the future in an account you control. I am not sure how I feel about cards for children that tell parents how they spent their money. At some point they need some autonomy about what they buy.

Not up to your son to tell them Sky53 it’s should be between you and the grandkids
Excellent that you ve realised it was an over re action and apologised
Now moving forward why don’t you take controlled of their saved money from YOU and give them when you see fit 18/21 whatever is you’re choice I see no earthly reason to use your son as a middle man should be between you and the grandkids only
Anyway all over onwards and upwards

From what you say it was your decision to send money electronically after the conversation Re Isas/ premium bonds.
Your son should have asked you to give them cash when you first started sending money by transfer.
It’s a storm in a teacup.

I have appologied to my son for over reacting and asked him if we can talk about my gifting money going forward.

Maybe I should tell/have told them that I've transferred money into their bank accounts and I don't know why my son hasn't told them. Quite honestly I don't like to question their (son and dil's) decisions - I learnt the hard way that it's not up to me.

I’m another who doesn’t see any problem. I have opened Kids Savings accounts for both my Grandsons, but in joint names - mine and theirs and add to them monthly by SO and also for Easter, Birthdays and Christmas. The older boy (7) understands money, but he won’t have access to the account until he’s older, but I slip him the odd £10 cash, if he’s done well at school or in his swimming lesson or is going to the school fair, etc. Of course, I’ve made sure both boys have an equal amount in the bank, despite the difference in their ages.

shysal like you, now the grandchildren are all older I just put money in their account and ring them up say Happy birthday /Christmas darling I ve put some money in your account to celebrate they say thanks Nan and that’s it. Not nearly as much fun as when they were small and I could choose presents