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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.

What goes on in some people's minds re conversation?

(4 Posts)
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GoodAfternoonTea Wed 10-Dec-25 11:49:58

Yesterday I went to the Christmas lunch of our local social group (all ladies). The chief lady decided to sit next to me and I was subjected to 2 1/2 hours of toxic conversation where she let no one else speak and used the word 'I 'many times. If anyone contributed she would dismiss their comment with 'I prefer to...' As she is chief person, everyone is reliant on her to organise things. I can't name association as it would be outing. I came home feeling like a washed out rag and wondered what must drive her mindset and conversation?

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butterandjam Wed 10-Dec-25 12:16:09

Was her toxic behaviour completely new and unexpected , or the usual?

This raises more interesting questions.

Why haven't all the other "ladies" organised something better , without her? What drives that hive mindset?

What are you going to do about it ?

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GoodAfternoonTea Wed 10-Dec-25 12:32:22

It was nothing new except I had not sat next to her for years as we are 50 in the group. The other ladies can't organise anything else because she is appointed chief so holds the power of where and when. I can't do anything about her behaviour but I am leaving the group at the end of the year and joining another group in the next town which I know to be a more professionally run group where gossip and self entitlement are nipped in the bud. The leader is really good.

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Astitchintime Wed 10-Dec-25 12:41:10

Then she needs to be un-appointed, If enough of you make a stand to get someone else nominated and elected into the post it shouldn’t be difficult to get someone as “Chief “ who is less self centred.

I suspect this group is something to do with a long established national collective and they do have Equality, Diversity and Inclusion strategy in place.

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