"Old age starts when you reach 54"

Greatnan I suspect absentdaughter would be quite shocked by some of the things said on a variety of gransnet threads, given her attitude towards what she refers to as geriatric sex. Sweet, isn't it?

Phew, I think that I have started something here!

On the Paris metro when my husband and I were in our forties, two Arab young men (much maligned in France) offered us their seats. I thanked them and said that we were only going two stops. I don't think that it was a question of age more than the fact that we were elegantly dressed to meet my daughter's then in-laws-to-be prior to going out to dinner.

As I said too, Greatnan. I am also 71 and, although a few things in the past decade have warned me that I'm not as young as I thought I was physically, I am still young at heart - sometimes I think DS1 is older in some ways than I am and he's not quite 41!

I asked a friend about this and she said that her mother always used to say that "you are as old as the man you feel". Well, I think that I'll pass on that one!

At 65, I am fit and well and spend two hours at the gym three times per week, including one pilates session when my left hip does not always do as it is told. Yes, my knees are not what they were when climbing stairs and my back strongly objects to getting out of the armchair after watching television for a while. It clicks in disgust. Yet, I don't think about age as I am extremely alert mentally despite going upstairs for some reason or another and forgetting why and tend to write down things that I am sure that I'll forget.

My GP was referring to elderly patients (which technically I am) and he hastened to add very genuinely that he was not including me in that category. Old age be damned. Age is an attitude of mind.

My significant other, at 67, puts in hours in the garden and at our allotment and is, indeed somewhat bored right now with little to do outside. Unfortunately, he suffers from osteoporosis but, fingers crossed, has yet to break anything, takes a daily prescribed supplement and walks at least two miles every day.

I too regard myself as a fit,active 64 year old, but I have just had a letter from the local Hospital for a follow up appoinntment, to take place after my MRI scan, and it is asking me to attend the Elderly Acute Medicine Clinic, it didn't feel good, but I guess that is how we are seen by the medical fraternity, it really shook me.

quiltingran thank you so much!

I have neighbours from Africa, who are a similar age to my own children. They will NOT call us by our first names - I must be "Nannie ........." and my lovely young friend insists on carrying my briefcase when we go out. I am a lively 66 year old, and so is her mother! I don't find this at all patronizing, because, as she has explained, it is respectful, and to do with their perception of the standing of older people.

BUT, when younger people make immediate assunptions about me, that's when I get sad (and cross). As Quiltingran's poem says "What do you see?"

I'd like to think they saw an elegant-ish older woman....huh!

I'd like to think that's what people see too Ariadne but then I catch a glimpse in the shop windows of a dumpy old woman!!

I meant ME of course, not you!

Old? Yesi am! Du,py, no. Overweight, yes. Frumpy, i hope not. I refuse to look in shop windows and will continue to think of myself as a juneoesque, coiffured,well dressed lady! Well we can all dream can't we? Just wait until I get that photo up!

Inside my mind, I'm no older than I was in my twenties. Inside my HEAD, though, I'm forgetting things! I can find myself standing stock-still and staring into space, wondering what on earth I'm supposed to be doing! I find I don't always listen to what people are telling me, as my mind drifts off onto something else. I then have to ask them to say it all over again. I'm not frumpy though, so that's something! I'm 62 in a couple of months, and see my mother when I look in the mirror. My neck is getting 'loose' and there are lines on my face. I've got age spots on the back of my hands and my hair is white. I'm healthy though! So that's alright, eh!?

That is appalling goldengran - why don't you complain to the hospital trust chair. You may be acute but 60s is hardly elderly these days. I would not be surprised if it did not put some patients off attending.
For many it does not seem to kick in during 70s either if they are lucky with health.
Do you remember anyone over about 25 having their first pregnancy used to be written up as an "elderly primip" . I don't suppose they do that any more as mothers are so much older getting started.
green it is just that you are thinking about something more important e.g. gransnet.
absent minded people just have something more interesting in their heads than mere trivial tasks and objects.
I think i do feel like a very different person to the 20 year old me. There is a lot more in there and my judgement has matured. Also there are some things i am just bored with, like most TV. Been there and seen it and know what is going to happen next.
I'm not quite sure I get it when people say they still feel young in their minds.... Alert, interested in the world, opinionated, enthusiastic - those are the sort of things I would hope i have retained.

Its not so much what age you are considered old aged but what people think old age is. Grant Shapps has picked up that badly researched report on old people and property size and wants us all to leave the family homes we are too old and incapable to manage anymore for somewhere more 'suitable' and the Daily Mail had some Professor saying the problem was that there was an inadequate supply of sheltered homes for us to move to.

Will someone please tell these people loud and clear that passing your 54, 60 or 65 birthday does not mean that you suddenly become old and frail and incapable of looking after yourself and that many people go on into extreme old age still quite capable of looking after themselves in ordinary houses. My father was 92 when he died, still living entirely independently and successfully running his house, garden and 3 local societies. He was so active in the community his MP made an appearance at his funeral. His younger brothers also both in their late 80s now are again living active independent lives.

If old age brings physical infirmity then life becomes more restricted but it doesnt make you mentally infirm as well. Yes older people with mental infirmity do need care, support and protection but they are a relatively small proportion of the total older aged population.

Please will someone tell all the 'experts' that and will they please stop patronising us.

Hear hear!

What do you see, nurse, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far away eyes.

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try?"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will.
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill,
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I use at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman and nature is cruel,
'Tis just to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer - see ME!!

Oh dear, now I'm crying.

That was my reaction too, Zephrine , and I am not easily moved to tears. I may copy that poem and keep it by me - just in case...

I had an eye test this morning and three different members of staff said that they thought my birth date had been written down wrongly. Is that because they think I look younger than 60 or older?

Or because the need glasses?

Annobel

Had to chuckle last week when visiting my dad in the care home.
Dad (93) to lady sitting next to him (103)!....."the trouble with this place is that they think we're all either mad or senile."

I love this thread - I am 52 next month and at that funny inbetween stage. Was a picture of me in the local paper today and I looked awful so have just cut my fringe (still got long blonde hair - thats another thing when do you have to go short?) and put another layer of lancome on (plenty of eyeliner and glossy lips ) - look and feel great!

ps a teenager let me go first on the bus the other day - I thought that was quite sweet.

We took my Mum too look at a different residential home a few weeks ago but she refused to move to it because it was full of old people waiting to die!

She was 88 last week

kitty your mother sounds like my mother, when I said to her that she was 89. She got huffy and said 'I am only 88.'

I wanted to post a poem about old age but don't know how to do it. The poem is in my documents folder. Can anyone help?

petallus ...usually you can copy the document ...then just click into the message box on GN ...then click 'copy'.

Good luck ...look forward to reading it.