Mental illness

ATOS find us an easy target and they're paid if they find us fit. The fact that it can nearly destroy us isn't their problem.

Nellie Your marvellous sense of humour and sheer grit have helped me to cope. I like to think that I can at least be here for you...to listen...to understand...to wish that you get whatever it takes to bring a sense of well-deserved self-worth into your life,.

vampirequeen your description of panic attacks is so spot on! I had them back when I had my first child. I think the valium I was given caused them. Thank God for ssri's.

Here is another member of the club just back from a wander on the dark side,also not well supported by GP.
Having to venture back to work,at nearly 60 and all that entails after 8 years away from the work place after a breakdown is difficult but with the pressures placed by government cutbacks and retirement age moved I need to provide for E,have just realised this has triggered my latest wander on the dark side...but try telling atos that when they come calling for you like the grim reaper.

jcJ Comforting (((hugs))) from me to you. You seem to be doing everything that you can to cope with what can be a living nightmare. Many good wishes that you'll find the help you deserve from an understanding GP

Soop: I have the same diagnoses as you and on the same meds. However I have no understanding GP, You have to see whichever GP is available IF you can get as far as that. Unless you are prepared to start queuing outside from 8 am it is nearly impossible to see any GP! I don't have any family around me either. However I am trying to climb out the pit. I have just joined a 'walking for health group' and a Mind art and craft group. I have just retired and am hoping that will help too as there was a lot of negativity at work.
thanks for the support on here. Cheers

My heart goes at to everyone too. So much courage is needed when there is so little understanding around.

jcj On bad days, I wear a smiley mask. Diagnosed with clinical depression, I am taking fluoxetine and know better than to try to manage without. I have been in the bottomless pit of despair, and it's thanks to Mr soop, loving family, good friends and an understanding GP that I managed to crawl out and begin to value and enjoy life.
For all the lovely GN members who have to "battle" with mental health issues, I send heartfelt love.

Oh hunni that's terrible. The problem is that we are given too much freedom to decide on treatment. I could stop taking my meds tomorrow and become more and more ill until I killed myself and no one would have the right to say enough is enough and make me take the meds I need. That can't be right. The problem arose because we used to have no rights and everything was decided for us. This led to people being hospitalised and drugged just to make life easier for others. Now it's swung too far the other way. In a moment of sanity or madness depending on your point of view I had it written into my records that if I went to see the gp it meant that I was desperate and even if I said I would fight on alone she should over rule me and refer me. Also if I rang Crisis and told them I was cutting they should not assume that I could be distracted but understand that if I phone then I'm desperate and in danger.

But I was lucky. I had that moment of sanity when I thought about my needs and I was listened to by my MHSW and GP.

MH issues are so challenging. It's so hard to distinguish between what could easilybe called bad, selfish behaviour and behaviour which is a symptom of a Mental illness. We were and still are being challenged by my sister-in-law's bipolar disorder. All her family, especially those closest to her, have been terribly affected. They have suffered violence, the spreading of malicious rumours about them, the consequences of impulsive high spending etc etc. She started divorce proceedings against her husband and was so plausible the solicitor wouldn't believe she was not in a fit state to do so, like others, believing that her dreadful family were conspiring against her. Now sh eblames her husband for leaving her. My husband finds the way she blames their parents for everything very hurtful as she twists & exaggerates little things they did which were nothing out of the ordinary for parents of their age . She never takes responsibility for herself or her own reactions, finding someone or something else to blame (This is where the distinction between what is the illness and the real person becomes hard). She refused to believe she was ill so was sectioned. She's had some time when she has taken some medication and improved a bit but now she's in the manic phase again, refused help again and has been sectioned for her own safety. She is now appealing against a decision to have power over her finances given to the public adminsitration (in Australia). She refuses all contact with her family. It is a truly horrible illness and situation.

The mask is something we develop to help ourselves function in the world but the mask is tiring to keep up. I belong to a mh peer support group Jcj. It's a good place if you want to talk about anything. It's not just depression and illness though ...we discuss everything and because it's a small group we're more like a family. At the moment we're winding up one of our poor male members with double entendres about....well male members lol. What we do give, though, is understanding and support all the time.

Jcj hope you have a good night and stay with us

thank you greatnan

jcj - I am so sorry you feel so low sometimes and I hope you will come here and pour it all out when you need. I found it helped me to talk about my daughter's mental illness and drug addiction.

I suffer from depression and have been on anti depressants for nearly 2 years. Everytime I try to half the dose I end up at home crying my eyes out! And yes I have thought everyone's life would be better if I wasn't there anymore. However I also know the other side as my 1st husband took his own life, we were seperated at the time but my then 11yr old daughter was with him and I know the effect it has had on my children. I know I could not go through with it because it would really upset both children, who incidentially also suffer from depression as my father did. It appears we have a genetic link to depression . I am very good at putting on the 'smily' mask. Only my daughter and son know.
Just to be able to write about it is good

O.k. - thank you for replying that's nice. I will ask the GP. Hope you are enjoying living in France - how lovely. x

Sorry, fluffy, I live in France and my daughter moved from Canterbury to Yorkshire several years ago. Have you asked your doctor if he/she knows of any appropriate groups?

Thank you for responses - I notice Greatnan mentioned the Chaucer -we are in that area - I wonder if you have come across any organisations locally that can help with this sort of thing?

Oh dear that does sound a worry. I think anxiety related amnesia can strike other age groups. I knew someone in his 50s who got off a train in Paddington and really could not remember why he had come to London. A one off I believe.
I hope he will settle into the new flat and feel less anxious soon.

Oh fluffy what a worry for you! I hope that the situation becomes better for all concerned.

VQ , your description of depression rings true. I am currently back on the tablets,first took them about 4 months after my son died, my GP thought that I had a delayed reaction, and he now thinks that this time around it's a delayed reaction to being made redundant back in March.

The real bugger of it is the "catch 22" thing. I would more than likely feel better if I had a job, but feeling like this doesn't put one in the best frame of mind for either job hunting or interviews (those that I actually get)

Much love and thoughts to all either battling the dreaded black dog, or trying to support friends and family who are there.

I wonder if someone could offer me some advice. I am 52 and have two brothers and sisters all older than me. My eldest brother is 71 and over the years has had depressive episodes which because I am so much younger I wasn't really aware of or involved in his care at all. Our parents are no longer alive but we all sort of pull together as a family as adults, however his 'episodes' seem to be getting more frequent and worse. Recently he moved into a new flat in an almshouse and got into a real state about the move. He dissapeared last week and was found some way from his new flat not knowing who he was, where he was or where he lived and ended up in hospital with what they describe as anxiety related amnesia. He has been tested and they say he is not physically ill but we don;t know what to do or how to look after him. He said he just wanted to walk and walk. The only thing I can think of is that we all try and visit him once a week to keep an eye but we never know when he is going to be alright or not. Is there any help we can get? I forgot to add - myself and my sister live in the next town and other sister lives overseas and only one brother near him but even so would like to know whats happens in these situations. Thank you i would be grateful for any input with people in similar situations.

That's a perfect description of how I felt when I used to get panic attacks, vampirequeen. It's horrible - and it didn't help when my doctor diagnosed 'anxiety neurosis' and put me on valium (this was the 80s)! Thankfully I learned to cope with the attacks and haven't had one now for years, but the experience did make me aware of how vulnerable we can be mentally when stress and worry take their toll.

Sorry I didn't do all the MH things I said I could help explain but it was tiring just doing depression. So here's anxiety.

Imagine being very very scared. Your muscles tense, your heart beats faster, you breath faster....you body prepares to fight or run. But you have nothing to be scared of. You tell yourself there is nothing to be scared of but your body has gone into overdrive. If you're lucky it stays at this level. If not you become weepy, can't eat because your body has shut down your digestive system, tremble or shake and the panic attack starts big time. Everything becomes brighter and louder as your senses sharpen. Then the over breathing begins. Slowly at first then faster and faster. You can't get the air in. You gasp. People stare. You're actually taking in too much oxygen hence breathing in and out of a paper bag helps. If it keeps going your fingers, toes and lips begin to tingle. Your hands begin to clench into claws. You feel as if you're going to die. You become light headed.

You adapt your life so that you can feel safe. You start to avoid certain situations. If you're not careful you can become a prisoner in your home. Life becomes a battle to do what other people do. Sometimes you manage it and sometimes you don't.

That's really terrible. I think if I were in your position I might be dabbling in a bit of arson - or at the very least slashing the tyres on his Bentley!

Nfk, I could write a lot about what happens to whistle blowers in the NHS! I now belong to an organisation that reports on what happens to them there and in other situations, and helps to protect them.
My daughter was being treated privately at the Chaucer in Canterbury, so I suppose the team were all being paid handsomely.
Any surgeon can make an honest mistake, even two, but to go on operating for so long almost defies belief.