Mental illness

ga that's so hard to live with when it's really major and nothing seems to make a difference. I hope it resolves before too much harm gets done,

I don't know if this belongs on this thread, but I have just heard from my sister in Canada that she has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. She and BIL and their 3 little chidren emigrated in the 60's when I was still in my teens. We are not close and sadly only email each other infrequently, although we used to ring each other every week. (Long story and I won't bore you with it.) Anyway, she and her DH who had prostate cancer about 10 years ago, and I suspect it has returned, are due to visit Scotland in May. In previous years, I have heard of their annual visit after they were back in Canada - so obviously not all that bothered about meeting up.
However, this year I suspect it may be their last visit, BIL's rellies in the north of Scotland are fewer and fewer, likewise our rellies in the Borders but this time she has given me the dates and I am thinking, this is a hint, even an olive branch maybe? So I am determined to get up there at the same time, health permitting, to see her for what may be the last time.
Alzheimers is not a happy diagnosis and combined with BIL's cancer, I find this a sad outlook

Wow gracesmum, as if you haven't got enought to cope with. I salute your generous attitude and learn from it

gracesmum

ga - Has there been a diagnosis and is there medication involved? If so, is he taking it, or choosing not to? Are you at any point concerned for his safety, or other family members, or that he may need sectioning? Sorry to ask such difficult questions, but they are pertinent. PM me if you'd like to.

Hi Butty I've PM'd you.

gracesmum I hope you do get to meet up for one last time - and hopefully before the Alzheimers has become a major problem.

I am suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) depression and anxiety attacks, I also suffer from terrible nightmares from my PTSD, and flashbacks. I have to go see my doctor once a month and the local hospital once a week. I for one, don't mind talking about my illness, sometimes it does help. I haven't been able to work for a couple of years as they feel that it would not be a good thing for me.

The hardest part is when your relative won't admit that they have a problem. If you 'challenge' somebody with an addiction problem you will be faced with anger, denial, resentment, counter accusations, and justifications for their bizarre behaviour. It is impossibe to help somebody who doesn't want your help.

Ricademus You've flagged up an important problem that is not often addressed, and in doing so you may well have helped others to seek support.
It seems you are well supported by the medical profession and hope your PTSD will decrease in time.
All the best.

Ricademus it good hear you are getting some support

The mh system used to be heavy handed. The professionals knew everything and the patients had to do as they were told. Fortunately they realised this was not the way to treat people. Unfortunately they seem to have swung too far the other way now.

I have a relapse plan that I made when I was OK. It states that if I visit the doctor and show signs of not being well I should be referred straight away rather than asking my opinion because when I'm ill I'm don't make sensible decisions and will say I'll try to fight it on my own when really I can't. But I didn't make this plan until I'd had several relapses. Finally I persuaded them that it would be OK to just refer me.

I'm unusual though and my GP knows me very well. I think they're so careful now due to the risk of being sued.

I think Ricademus is right about needing to talk but without meaning to offend anyone I'm not sure this is the site to do it. It's OK to talk in general about our illnesses and situations but when we're not well we need to talk to people who understand. If I talked about how I feel it would only take one flippant remark made either unintentionally or deliberately to push me over the edge. It may not even be meant to be flippant but when ill we often have warped thinking and see comments that are not there.

I belong to a mh peer support site and would be happy to share the web address with anyone who wants it.

Sorry should have said grannyactivist is right.

vampire I agree with you regarding people who understand.

Yes, a good point, VQ. I agree that this is probably not the right site to address some issues in depth.

Ricademus and Vampire it would be great if you could talk in _general terms_about the problems you face if you are able. About the conditions themselves - I for one know next to nothing about PTSD. Physical conditions are OK to talk about, why not mental. I had a friend who was bi-polar and the mis-understanding he faced were at best embarrassing and at worst disastrously hurtful. My father's fast decline into cancer related dementure was completely ignored and denied by social services leaving my mother and myself bewildered at our inability to cope, although his consultant eventually said it was quite common. Mental health problems are slowly coming into the open and the more it's talked about the more acceptance and understanding there will be.

Of course GN is not the place for professional help, but it may be a good place for general advise. A thread along the lines of 'my DH has a temperature of 110 should I send for the doctor' only along mental health lines.

I'm willing to talk about PTSD but only in general terms. It follows a very sudden and awful experience, as the name indicates. You have terrible auditory and/or visual flashbacks which just come out of nowhere. Any little thing, or sometimes nothing at all, can trigger these. They literally take you right back to the terrible event and you experience all the terror, pain, sense of helplessness and hopelessness that you experienced at the time. They leave you shaken and shaking and produce a huge adrenalin rush. Physically your pupils dilate, your heart beats too fast, your mouth goes dry. Emotionally you are a wreck. These flashbacks can last for years. In my case for three years, though I still have the occasional one.

I don't consider them a mental health issue as they are, to me, a perfectly normal reaction to an abnormal event. I didn't have and didn't seek any help. But then I am extremely resilient mentally having overcome many other crises in the past. Unlike PTSD, illnesses such as schitzophrenia, bipolar, and some forms of depression are mental illnesses as they usually result from a chemical inbalance in the brain.

However, having said that, mental illness can be like a physical illness inasmuch as if you have a suppressed immune system then a simple cold could turn into something much worse. Likewise, some people through no fault of their own, can find that PTSD can lead to depression and more. Strangely, it has been found that the relatives of victims of 9/11 who sought counselling did 'worse' than those who did not. This may be because those who already had coping strategies, and family or friends to support them, were therefore less inclined to seek counselling in the first place.

I hope this explains it a little nfk

It certainly explained it to me, Nanad - thank you.

nanad - You've explained PTSD very well, and I'm pleased to hear you've overcome it so well.
I'd just like to mention that it not only occurs following a one off event, but can also be as a result of experiencing cumulative and prolonged distress.
Therapy worked well for me, but then I wasn't surrounded by a supportive extended family, nor wished to discuss it with friends.
Professional, detached support in developing coping strategies can be extremely useful.

vq and nanad such enlightened posts, and your descriptions of what happens when flashbacks occur are vivid. I've been with people when they've been having these harrowing experiences, triggered by recounting traumatic events, or by sensing something that throws them back into the experiences that caused PTSD in the first place. So distressing for them and therapy does help over time as does certain medication provide a crutch for when it becomes overwhelmiing. The families of people with PTSD don't always understand when recovery isn't apparent, and continuing support is needed. There are many elderly people who still get flashbacks from childhood and the last war, and the ability to manage their distress lessens as they become mentally frail and the bad memories resurface.

As nanad says, they are normal and understandable reactions to harrowing events or prolonged mistreatment, and there are probably many people trying to deal with PTSD in silence.

butter I think those who have cumulative and prolonged trauma, as in victims of abuse, find it much harder as their trust in human nature is destroyed. Some people experience a numbing of their emotions too. I'd say there are many people coping in silence. Then there is the constant anxiety and the realisation bad things do happen to good people.

I can tell you a bit about depression, anxiety, ptsd, emotionally unstable personality disorder and an unusual form of dissociative identity disorder. Please remember that everyone is different and not all people have the same symptoms.

Depression is more than just feeling down. It takes over every aspect of your life. Even when you feel well it's there in the background. Depression can affect your sleep, appetite and libido. Sufferers may cry a lot or not at all. Sometimes you may feel that you want to cry but the tears won't come. At it's worst it can shut you down. You stay in bed, don't eat or drink and basically switch off from the world. You crave peace but your head might be a whirlpool of thoughts and images. Think of the painting 'The Scream'. When you consider suicide it's not 'an easy way out' as some people think. You come to realise that it's the obvious thing to do. You can't imagine why you haven't done it before. You're sure that it will be the best thing for everyone. Just before suicide you might be very very calm because you know you're doing the right thing for everyone.

Depression makes it difficult to handle your emotions so you may get angry for no reason or you might be unnaturally calm. Patience can be short at times. It makes you hear things in conversations that people maybe didn't say or mean....so someone may say 'have you thought of doing it this way'....which you translate as 'you're rubbish....you can't do anything right'. This, of course, fits in with your mind set because you probably believe you're rubbish anyway. You churn things over inside your head and hate yourself even more.

Sorry this is so long but depression is so complicated to explain. I'll answer any questions if I can.

VQ - I think you have described what happened to my daughter after she came close to death following an operation that punctured her stomach. It took seven years to get the MDU to make an offer of damages, even though the surgeon had admitted his negligence. This long delay had a catastrophic effect on her mental health - and our finances. She used to get panic attacks in Tescos because the bright light reminded her of the lights in the operating theatre. She rapidly became addicted to codeine having been given Tramadol in hospital for her intense pain.

I had stood by her bedside for four hours trying to get someone to find a surgeon when it was obvious she was bleeding internally. I then was left alone for three hours while they repaired her stomach after I had been told that the risk of death was very great. For several months afterwards she suffered repeated infections and then a huge, incisional hernia. I tried to keep her business going as well as caring for her and her four children.
I was never able to tell anyone the details of my own ordeal until I joined this forum. It seemed wrong for me to talk about my own suffering when hers was so much worse, and I have always been known in the family for being the one who keeps calm and deals with things. I have wondered if I have also been suffering from PTSD - I have certainly felt better since I have been able to talk about it. Perhaps I should have sought counselling - but I thought I could cope with anything life threw at me.

Great Nan, that is a perfectly dreadful story. I really don't know you you and she came through it. What an appalling thing to happen. Nothing more to say really except that I'm sure anyone who reads this account will be sending you lots of sisterly thoughts.