Storynanny - sorry for not acknowledging your post in response to my grumbles, lucky me, just back from a week away.
Is your knee hot or cold to touch? My consultant, gp and physio all say if my joints are hot and inflamed (inflammatory arthritis) use ice to cool the joint. If the joint is cold, use warmth. When I have a flare up, my hands are usually the first to show it's happening. Hot, swollen knuckles, wrists etc - I have the emergency pack of frozen peas and though initially it is unpleasant, the swelling and heat do go down.
Scooter - thanks for the recommendation, I strained my back, coming down a slope without sticks while we were away last week and it's giving me some gyp so I'll look for Flexall tomorrow.
Dreading being alone again - feeling bereft
He tells me to stop trying to control him - AIBU to worry?
Getting older - accommodation options? - would love advice