fear of falling

Joolz I think it is quite normal to worry about causing an accident to one's grandchildren.
I have a new grandson and if I am carrying him, I ascend or descend the stairs one at a time, with him on one arm and gripping the bannister with the other. You are not alone.
I understand your fear of ice too. I fell on ice 10 years ago and broke my wrist and I am still scared of walking to the shops if it's icy. I bought some boots with good gripping soles but I still don't feel confident.
I think maintaining strength is important in falls prevention.
Since I retired I've been able to exercise more and I feel physically fitter, and more agile, than I have done for years, and this has helped to a certain extent.
Perhaps you could see a personal trainer to recommend something specific to help you?

I think that having a fall affects us in many ways. We realise that we don't bounce any more, our confidence takes a massive knock and we can feel we are on the slippery slope to infirmity and zimmer frames.
Our balance and flexibility can diminish with age but I think you have had a fright which does not to me suggest you are "losing it". I have been known to fall just about flat on my face - well 2 knees and 2 hands while taking Grace on her bedtime walkie . Each time I was under particular stress, DH due to have major cardiac surgery on one occasions and awaiting the "call"to granny duty when DD was due to have DGS2 another. Each time I knew I could not afford any injury! Unless you do have a balance problem I would say don't let it prey on your mind. Wear flat shoes/trainers for security, hold handrails on stairs especially carrying the baby and keep as fit and supple as you can!

Oh I do feel for you, joolz. I was walking the dog today and actually thinking to myself that I don't enjoy walking the way that I used to, and it all goes back to having a bad knee several years ago. I'd twisted my knee but could still walk until one evening, on leaving a theatre in the middle of Nottingham, I couldn't put anyweight on that leg. The S.O. had to leave me propped up against a wall while he went to get the car which was parked quite a distance from the theatre. I couldn't walk properly for months afterwards and, even then, found that I panicked when I had to walk across an empty space. For someone in that frame of mind, ice is the arch enemy because, not only will it make us fall again but it is invisible, like our very fear of falling. In my case my fear now is of walking a distance from home and then not being able to get back. I do think that, perhaps, you should see a doctor as it seems to be affecting your life and you need help to get your confidence back.

I would worry a lot about falling with the grandchildren if I let myself think about it. As it is I am much more careful when I'm with them. Especially climbing up stairs or over door steps - ice I try to avoid altogether. I certainly agree that exercising makes you much more physically capable.

Have you considered joining a local authority walking group, so you will walk with other people? The nurse at your surgery should be able to give you information on them. Then you might get some confidence back.

I have just returned from a holiday where three generations walked long distances every day. I was the one NOT admiring the view but keeping my eyes firmly on my feet.

It's a bugger but we all have to deal with it so don't let it get to you. It's better to be aware of the possibility you might trip up and be extra careful so you don't.

Having had a lot of falls including having to to to A&E for stitches. I won't walk outside without crutches.
I can't get up without help, so I have an alarm pendant.
I wouldn't dare to try to carry either of my DGD s
Toddler understands (almost three) Graggy is wobbly!
Tiddler hardly knows me as darling daughter is a Velcro mum.

You are scared of falling because you keep doing it! - sounds reasonable to me. Have you spoken to your doc about this and looked into whether there is a problem with your balance? There is physio available to help with balance problems and (depending on the cause) drugs too. Might be worth a word with her/him.

I think we all feel a bit frightened that our physical limitations might endanger our GC and try to find ways around it. We have DGD (14 months) once a week. When she was smaller we had to lift her a bit but always made sure that this was for the shortest time possible and that 2 of us were there. If it entailed steps, we passed her from one to the other up the steps rather than carry her. Now she is toddling we have various strategies in action. We never ever take her upstairs - we look after her downstairs and when she needs a sleep she does not go in the cot upstairs, but in her pushchair, which I either take her for a walk in till she drops off, or wheel about indoors. If she wants me to lift her up, she has quickly learned that I give her my hand and walk her to the nearest chair, where I sit down, and pull her onto my lap from there. We keep her on reins in the garden (because there are bits she can fall down and neither of us could get to her quickly enough if she shot off in that direction) and follow her about - it is a bit tiring, but better safe than sorry. When I walk downhill (our dirve and lane are very steep) I always "tack" down in a zigzag, so that if I slipped she would not head off down the lane. You are less likely to slip over whilst pushing the pram, so do not wry to much a bout this - I always say that I need a baby with me every day, as the pushchair is much better than my stick! We have told my DD about these strategies, so that she can feel reassured. And sticking to them gives us confidence too.

You usually only tack when sailing head to wind?

Maybe she is jibbing not tacking, Galen

Oh - there's plenty of wind on this hill!!

If so, she needs to watch out for the boom! It hurts when it catches you on the Knut!

That'll not help her with keeping her balance

Some practical suggestions:
Get a stick (or a walking pole) to build your confidence out doors
Work on improving your balance - stand on one leg. Do it next to a kitchen surface until your confidence builds.There are lots of yoga balance positions but they are all, basically, standing on one leg and trying to stay balanced and relaxed. Aim to put your foot down before you start to wobble.
Get some ankle weights and do exercises at home that strengthen your leg muscles.
Ask your GP about CBT to get you out of this cycle of fear and worry.

Very useful advice Jess

My DS lives in Canada and, although I try to visit twice a year, I will no longer go in the winter as one visit to them last year I was quite unnerved with the ice. I didn't fall but was very conscious that if I did, then it would hurt and I might be injured. Our self preservation instinct gets stronger as we get older I think.

Good advice from Jess. Many people work hard to keep fit but forget to work on their balance. Do practice Yoga balance poses.

Also try to become aware of the surfaces under to your feet and around you. I fell over my dog yesterday. My own fault as I know he has a habit of following me around. Luckily I still bounce but I do have osteoporosis so I must be more AWARE myself.

Re walking on ice. My gran always said to do this with bent knees and I find this really works.

If I could stand without being in severe pain I'd contemplate doing some exercises, the problem is that the worst pain is in my ankles which hurt even at rest. Sometimes it's so bad that I hold on rather than make the trip to the toilet. Luckily I have strong control

I use two crutches always outside and inside as well sometimes. I had the left (worst) ankle fused a few years ago and it's been much worse since! £7500 not well spent!

Does anyone else find that stiffness in joints varies if they travel to different parts of UK or even to another country? I live in the driest part of England which I think suits my arthritis.

We've just spend five days in Normandy and although I could walk quite well I was in quite a bit of a pain and my feet swelled alarmingly on the last day. As soon as we returned home the swelling went down and the pain subsided.

Find it's usually better in the Med!
(So why am I cruising to St Petersburg in June?)

I've had a few falls recently and I don't think it does any harm to be extra cautious.
Others have given good advice, and I would add always wear comfortable and supportive shoes.
I would always avoid ice, and carrying young children up and down stairs.
My last fall was on slippery mud, in the chicken run, so now I use a stick when it's wet.

Using a stick is the most sensible thing to do - I do agree. I can manage round the house, but outside I always use a stick - partly because my foot gets worse the further I go and I cannot manage steps that I might encounter. But the main reason is that my balance is not great and just having information through the stick helps - even if you do not put your weight on it. It really does help you to prevent falls and is worth doing, even though you may not feel you are ready to go with this. I have a brilliant stick from Flexi-foot which has a flexible sprung foot which is safe on uneven ground or going up or downhill. It really does make me feel safer; although best of all, as I said, is a pushchair - I think I ought to get a baby-sized doll to push around when the GC are not here.

I really LOVE my carbon fibre crutches. They cost about €400 but are wort every ?centime of it. My shoulders don't ache as much as they did as when using the so called lightweight English crutches