Gransnet forums

Health

How to support a friend who's partner has dementia

(7 Posts)
Gmittens Sat 31-May-14 12:59:55

I live abroad and a friend in my area has just told me that her husband has had a stroke and now been diagnosed as having dementia and she feels ' at the end of her tether' - does anyone have any guidance on how I can support her?

ninathenana Sat 31-May-14 15:44:21

Don't stop visiting them. Treat her partner just the same as before. Don't judge her if she's having a bad day and complaining about him. Carers need to let off steam. You may be the only person she feels she can talk to. Family can sometimes be in denial so she will need to bend your ear and maybe cry on your shoulder.
Do suggest she joins the Alzheimers Society forum.( these are people living with various types of dementia and carers) They are a great bunch of people who support and advise each other.

Gmittens Sat 31-May-14 17:47:40

Thank you so much for your suggestions ninathenana. I have had a look at the forum and I will direct my friend to it as it looks as if there is a wealth of support there. Thanks again.

ninathenana Sat 31-May-14 18:19:08

Your welcome, she is lucky to have a friend that cares flowers

kittylester Sat 31-May-14 18:28:09

I would echo what Nina says , especially the bit about listening. Also, you could offer to take her out or stay with her DH so she can go out. I imagine a meal that she hadn't prepared herself would be welcome too.

But being a steadfast friend will be best of all. flowers

janerowena Sat 31-May-14 19:06:50

My friend is always desperate for someone to set her free for a couple of hours a week, just to be able to do the shopping and maybe get her hair done, and for her own doctor's visits. So that would be the greatest gift you could give her - a bit of time to sort herself out. However, she also likes company in the house too, because the whole thing is very stressful and having someone else to speak to is also a rest for her brain. Her OH is better for a change of company too, he behaves better for us than he does for her.

Gmittens Sun 01-Jun-14 04:55:15

Thank you Kitty and Jane, you have both been very helpful. When I first heard I felt quite helpless but now feel more able to offer appropriate support.