Staying asleep!

Ha! I used to do the 16 hour sleep thing too although not while I lived with my parents, wouldn't have been allowed

I can't nap either. Ho hum.

honey we must be quite similar because I also did that "come back from the dead thing" and also I dread the clock changing exercise every year, it wreaks havoc with my body clock.

This is going to sound really weird but it worked for me; I was taught this by an American psychologist - who was my boss at the time - to lie down and relax holding a pencil loosely in my hand with my fingers curled around it. I'd fall asleep and (the theory is) when you go into the next phase of sleep and relax more deeply, letting go of the pencil causes you to wake up. I suppose it would work with holding something else.

Here's the funny part of the story - we each had a big office (adjoining offices with an interleading door) and a foam mattress stashed underneath each desk (mine was a yoga mat). Because he had a clinic into the evening (long day, he was a family therapist) - he'd insist on these afternoon rests/naps for both of us after lunch, we'd shut the doors and off we'd go. So I would tell people I sleep with my boss every afternoon.

BTW please PM where you buy the melatonin from - such a boon for long haul flights...

You have my sympathy, I'm often awake in the wee small hours.

In the past I've tried reading, relaxation exercises, listening to calming music, mindfulness techniques, and getting up till I'm sleepy again.

I've given up now and go against all the advice given re not using electronics, now I sudoku or play solitaire using an app on the iPad.

for the record in my younger years i had opposite issues where sometimes i could go to sleep at night and wake up very disorientated wondering what was going on and realise i'd slept 16hrs solid! to be fair that was probably more life disturbing than this issue. used to feel like coming back from the dead though.

how do you 'learn' to nap by the way? think part of it would have to include setting an alarm so if i do manage to sleep i don't end up sleeping too long.

yeah i think it's going to take training to 'learn' to nap. naturally once i'm awake i'm awake you know? not a napper anymore though as a youngster i was like a cat which was a useful skill to someone who traveled as much as i did - being able to sleep is the best way to pass long boring uncomfortable journeys.

i think it's less a sleep issue than i have weird body clock stuff or circadian rhythm to give it it's fancy name. i'm hoping the melatonin will help because it works on that area of the brain which is the same area that has given me problems in other hormonal areas. flaky as it may sound it is around equinoxes that i have my biggest issues - my clock and energy and sleep just seems to go haywire round these points of the year.

Put earphones in - with a speech programme on the radio (not music). The World Service will do. Gets me back to sleep every time.

hi honey ... although your son is too old for naps, is he not old enough to understand that you may sometimes need an afternoon "power nap" - and he needs to be in his room for that time reading or some other quiet activity?

My two children are very close in age and when they were still quite little (around 4 or 5) I "trained" them to play quietly on the carpet in the room whilst I did just that (the room was pretty child-proof and they were pretty obedient kids). It worked very well excepting on one occasion I was woken by my daughter on the bed leaning over me and giggling her head off! They had obviously got involved in a game which included making fun of me sleeping . Perhaps I was snoring. When I say power nap, I can do that for under half an hour, also had to train myself.

thanks everyone. i'm not stressing about it as such but i'm knackered later in the day. i'm happy with the amount of sleep i get i just wish i could have it at a better time.

i do really enjoy the mornings - i watch stuff on netflix, enjoy the peace and quiet and it's fine if only it weren't for being so tired later on in the day.

i just feel out of synch with the world and the trouble with starting the day so early in such a chilled out way is that it seems to set the tone for the rest of the day to be lazy for me itms. so i start the day doing nice relaxed quiet 'me' stuff and that's the tone set and it's really hard then a few hours later to go into get busy and do stuff mode.

i work from home and tend to do my work between 9am and lunchtime so i can communicate with clients and clarify stuff which you can't do at 5am! i suppose i could start organising my work so that stuff i can see is really straightforward i set aside for very early morning. but basically by midday it feels like late afternoon to me you know?

my son is 7 so too old for naps and non stop from the minute he wakes to when he sleeps. i've never been any good at napping (except when he was a tiny baby and we'd curl up together) but maybe i could try learning to have an afternoon power nap.

Before I go to bed and if I wake in the middle of the night I rub my shoulders and neck with magnesium oil infused with camomile. You buy it anywhere but H& Barrat sometimes have it for half price. It reduces anxiety and is a natural way to help you sleep. I have recommended it to serveral friends - I should get a commission.

Hello HoneyB and welcome to GN.

I slept soundly and long until I had children and from then - 43 years ago now - I have been a poor sleeper. I think I slept with one ear open and was always awake and alert at the slightest murmur from DC. My DS had asthma from an early age so I was always listening for him especially.

Like you I drop off to sleep OK but usually waken about 4 hours later and then just catnap until 5.30 or 6 am when I quietly retreat downstairs leaving a slumbering DH. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed - the pattern seems set.

We had a thread on here about "second sleep" which seems to have featured in literature and was a norm in centuries gone by. That pattern seemed to be a good first sleep then a pattern of wakefulness in the middle of the night then a second sleep. Apparently in the wakefulness period people got up, visited each other, chatted, made love etc. It was the Industrial Revolution, I believe, when that pattern began to change with people expecting to have a full night's sleep. Probably from exhaustion after a very hard day's work.

So you are not alone and I do wonder whether we are just programmed for a "second sleep"as mentioned above?

Hi Honey I don't sleep well, so I do sympathise, but maybe you just don't need that much sleep.
Maybe try to relax about it, read or get up and have a cuppa, or just lie there and enjoy the peace.
Hope it improves for you

I use to work the nightshift in a busy Nursing Home. Im did it for many years and now I seem to be stuck in night mode. I have trouble getting off to sleep. In the summer I was often awake as the birds were beginning to sing.
Since retiring from nursing I got a job cleaning in my local Waitrose store. I have to be up at 03.00 to go to work. I occasionally go back to bed when I return from work at 07.30, but not very often. Now I don't have trouble going to sleep, but am wide awake at three.
I just go with the flow, get up, read a book, catch up with the TV I've recorded etc. I never stress about it, as it does no good at all.

I have been like this since my mum took me to the doctor when I was a child thinking there was a reason for it. He just said I had an over active mind. When I woke up very early I used to read a book or do some colouring. This has carried on all the time and now I wake up early with aches and pains but I still try to do things to pass the time. I know having children you need your energy but I think waking up early is a sign that you've had your quota of sleep. Does your little one have a nap in the day. I used to catch up then even though I don't think it's recommended. I say sleep when you can.

Yes, just go with the flow. If you can cope with less sleep, get up and do the jobs that need doing. I suffer from this but not all the time luckily. But I make myself value the days I've put the washing in, mopped the floor, dusted, tidied up, etc by the time most people are getting up.

If you're a working mum then you're not dashing about in the morning juggling children and chores. If you are a stay at home mum then you've a little more time for yourself during the day.

I'm sure everyone suffers with an over active mind from time to time, stress based, not in my case always.

As Shysal says, go with it, get up, enjoy the morning, watch TV progs that no one else wants to watch, listen to your music etc. My wife watches Downton Abbey etc. I watch F1, fishing etc.
If you are really sad, do the ironing or other chores, more time for yourself later. I can often be found in my workshop in the small hours. (downside is that when you stick your finger in a circular saw at 3am, you get even less sympathy than usual, but casualty was very quiet!)

Just get up and enjoy the best part of the day! I am often awake between 3 and 5am, but since retiring have a long soak in the bath (with breakfast and library book) to begin the day. With me it isn't an age thing, I have always been the same, since doing a paper round as a teenager, and used to go into work extra early too.
When the children were young it was the best time to do the ironing and baking in peace, although DH(now ex) told me the banging of the iron was too noisy. This is the man who never ever heard a child wake during the night!

I wake up really happy Mamie so i don't think it's stress it's more like my internal clock keeps setting earlier and earlier.

Hope you're enjoying retirement

It was always a stress thing with me, when I was working. I used to crash out, then wake up with "busy brain", arguing with colleagues, planning events, worrying about delivering speeches. Aargh.
Firmly pulls self together and remembers haven't had to do that for ten years (though I still have nightmares sbout being in front of an audience with nothing to say)...
It stopped when I retired. Or I stopped worrying about it.
Probably a very unhelpful reply...