Depression

Mishap. Knee is improving, hip is still painful, guess that evens things out.

Been to hospital today as I have a pituitary tumor, no change from last year, so all good.

When I had my hip op, I had knee pain which disappeared once I was walking properly again. Hopefully your surgeon can suggest something to ease your pain.

The new exercises seem to be helping, I can lock the knee out now, just need to get the bending better, that is proving painful and not obviously productive.

Trying my first long drive next week, up to Leicester to see our daughter (3 hours ish). I have stops planned every 45 min ish. Unfortunately some will be Little Chefs, but needs must.

You are very bold to be going off on a long drive - bon voyage! I believe you have an automatic from what you said in a previous post. I hope it is the operated leg that gets to rest for the journey!

I am seeing chap next week to get his thoughts about me going back to driving. I am sure I could manage the mechanics, but not sure sure that I really feel well enough even to try. Time will tell.

Yes I do have an auto and it is my left knee, so I can not only rest it, I can move it about.
Most of the journey is motorway/A roads, so I can use cruise control to give both legs a wiggle, helps a lot on long journeys.

We were considering popping up to see our son while we were there, but that would mean 5 hours driving in one day, decided that would probably be too much.

This problem of depression seems to be rife - I wonder what is behind it all. What a trial for so many people. Thank goodness that there are treatments available now.

It seems to be different things for different people.
I wonder if in decades past, people used to suffer but not access help?

This is an interesting thought. We seem to have many medical problems these days that were little heard of 50 years ago ie. hand /foot/mouth in children, I don't remember it with our kids, but it is common today.

50 years ago, if I had what we now term depression, I would have either just become a miserable old git, a recluse or killed myself. Almost certainly I would have lost my friends and family. We so often blame stress, I certainly did, IMO I had a very stressful job that finally broke me. Whilst stress 50 tears ago was different, I can't believe that feeding your family was any less stressful, we just didn't call it that.

I guess we expect our lives to be more perfect with medical advances.

50 years ago my hip/knee problems would just have meant life in a wheel chair (not that we lived long enough to develop many of these problems. %0 years ago we could die of old age from 60 onwards, today no one dies of old age. Our neighbour died of cancer last year, she was 105 !.

I've only just come back to this thread and I'm sorry to hear that you've both been struggling pompa and Mishap.
I've had some experience with depression, and my dd has been on anti-depressants for years, and I think having somewhere to come and talk about how you're feeling, and share the moans, must be really helpful.
I do hope you both get a lot more mobile soon, and feel a lot happier as a result.

Actually pompa my mother did have old age as the cause of death on her death certificate.She was 101 and 8 months and had never spent even 1 night in hospital.Having "put you straight" in the nicest way I am sorry you have had this depression in your life for so long and hope your present physical problems are soon sorted, and the same good wishes to you Mishap.

I guess people would have been diagnosed with melancholia or some such title and shipped off to an asylum.

Anyone who has suffered depression will realise what a physical illness it is. I am physically slowed down, perpetually nauseous, weak, giddy, disoriented at times - as well as the more obvious bouts of weepiness. It is as if someone has switched me off at the main, and my brain and balance and digestives systems have gone totally awry. Some days I have brief flashes when I feel "normal" and it is hard to explain what the difference is between that and the rest of my life at the moment.

I shall be very glad when it stops and I can get on with my life. Cancelling things because I am too unwell to do them is in itself mentally depressing, and, although I have no choice, does not help to lift the spirits.

The only way forward is to try and take note of small improvements, however tiny - yesterday I did a small amount of ironing and I count that as progress.

Hope you have a good day pompa. And thanks for all the supportive posts from everyone.

We have depression and anxiety in our family too jingl.

DH was told to continue with Citalopram after a hear attack and has had no adverse reaction at all. This decision was made after I discussed it with DH's cardiologist.

Mishap Try not to look at cancelling things as negative - it is a positive way of looking after yourself.

Thank you for that observation FarNorth - I need to try and think of it in that way, although the idea that I am having to let people down is hard for me. I am used to being out there doing things in the community and for my family. But it is my turn to sit back and be "done good to" for a while I guess.

One of the things that I have had to withdraw from is a big singing project very dear to my heart that has occupied huge amounts of my life - that is very hard for me, but I know that I have made the right decision.

Mishap - I hope you feel better soon. I was interested to hear you talk about the physical effects of depression. I was hit by depression about 15 years ago after some dreadful events in my life. Before this, I'm afraid I was very much of the 'pull yourself together brigade'. Oh how wrong I was! The only way I could describe it was to say that I felt as though I had been plucked from my life and dropped onto another planet. My mind felt like an ordered filing cabinet that someone had tipped up and I couldn't get my 'files' back in order if that makes sense. I felt frightened, panic stricken, I was crying all the time, felt as though I was going mad. I stopped enjoying anything, couldn't concentrate, would flit from one chore to another leaving the first one half done, my memory was dreadful. I was physically sick, had stomach pains, and even hallucinations. I was too afraid to get help and tried to deal with it myself (which was very silly). I still have episodes but I am a lot better than I was. A few months ago, I was singing along to a tune on the radio and my DH said 'I haven't heard you sing for years' It's a dreadful illness, be kind to yourself.

I really think the answer in your case Mishap is rest, rest, and more rest. And then build up very gradually with a little bit of walking, when you can.

Rest is so important. A lot of depression is aggravated by tiredness.

Jing for once I totally agree with you. I'd also point out that depression after a major op is fairly common. It goes!

Old age is only allowed as a contributory cause on a death certificate. That's why so many have the primary cause as ' bronchopneumonia '

I have a neighbour who also thought "it was all in the mind"? When anyone had problems with the menopause her mantra was " I keep myself too busy to allow problems" and she ran her life and family with military precision. When her husband became ill and died we were all amazed that she tried to carry on in just the same way. 4weeks later she had a stroke and although she made a good recovery she is not the same person, she takes anti-depressives and has lost all her confidence. She talks about her health all the time. We must learn to accept what happens to us,know our limitations and accept help when we need it..

JBS is right, rest is what you need. As I remember, some of the exercises needed to improve your hip can be done sitting with your feet up. Just do what you are comfortable with, enough to keep your muscle tone from dropping.

I find that my depression is usually triggered by very trivial events. it may just be a ill timed remark from someone or a very minor upset. I find I can cope with the major problems. Very few people can understand the things that tip me over the edge and I don't like to admit what has occurred because I know will seem stupid.

I once told my boss where to stick their job where the sun didn't shine, picked up my coat and walked out, all because of an ill timed comment.

The "pull yourself together brigade" have never experienced depression. In my experience you have little control over your feelings. To come out of it needs time and a lot of love/patience from those close to you, plus possibly some medication.

I was lucky, when I returned to work, my boss could recognise when I was losing the plot early on and would review my work load to establish the priorities. I was in a management support role and effectively had dozens on clients all wanting their problems sorted first, which could be at any of our many sites worldwide. Often had to drop everything and head off for days/weeks at a time, got to go to some interesting places, but saw a lot of airports.

I do hope you both mishap and pompa feel better soon. Depression is really awful.

I'm fine, now I have the way forward for my hip, I'm back to my normal chirpy self.

Mishap needs your hugs &

Katy - that is an excellent description! I am glad that you are singing again.

I am so lucky that no friend or family member is of the "pull yourself together" brigade, and I have made a decision that I will answer kind enquiries about how I am with the honest statement that I am suffering from depression, rather than some banal comment about being a bit tired at the moment.

Responses have been overwhelmingly understanding and caring. And quite a few fellow-sufferers have crept out of the woodwork and been happy to tell their tale, and to encourage a belief that it does pass. The only difficult bit has been a member of my OH's family who lives abroad and will be in UK next week, and wanted to come and stay for 3 days. He says he will look after me and do things to help, but I have had to put him off as I just do not have the energy for consistent socialising for such a long period - the response was to hope I am better soon, but added the barbed comment that he was "sorry you do no think I am able to help." I do not blame him, as he clearly does not understand how it feels, but I will have a few fences to mend when I am feeling better.

I am glad that you had such an understanding boss in the end pompa and thank you and everyone else for encouragement and advice - I'm resting - honest!!

I also meant to say that I have just spent the afternoon on the receiving end of an alternative therapy here at home - not something I am really into, but I was offered some sessions by a friend, and have benefited from the kindness that motivated the offer. It was very restful, and that has to be good.

I've seen adverts for these "alternative" therapies in the personal columns of certain papers. All afternoon - wow, you must have more stamina that I thought. Not my scene but hey, whatever floats your boat, who am I to judge. Hope you enjoyed it.

Bed for me now - all afternoon, who'd have thought ????

No pompa - not that sort of alternative therapy!

I think he's better!