cancer

So sorry Ethel to hear about your diagnosis. At least now you know what the problem is and you will receive the appropriate treatment. Take it a day at a time and remember we GN's will always be here to encourage you or listen to you when you need support

So sorry to read your news Ethel, but all is not lost. Last year, my hubby was being examined by his doctor because he was anaemic and the doctor was worried. He said he`d found what appeared to be a cancer in his bowel, but sent him for a scan to see if it had spread anywhere else. They stopped the scan halfway through, because they discovered something more worrying than the cancer, an aneurysm that had grown to 10cms without anyone knowing it was there! He was admitted there and then, had the operation to deal with the aneurysm, came home, a couple of weeks later he was called back for the bowel cancer op, so he had 2 major operations in 4 weeks! They successfully removed the cancer, and he`s now waiting for a date to go in to have the stoma reversed, he`s been told he`s fit for the op, just has to wait till he`s sent for.

Etheltbags I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I can echo what some of the other GNs have said. Treatment is so good nowadays and I know two people who have come through it recently.

One of them was so ill that he would normally have only been given palliative care, but he was offered treatment because of his incredibly positive attitude and the surgeon felt he deserved a chance. He had surgery and chemo, then was 'replumbed' a few months ago and is back at work - on a building site!! I'm only relating that to show how wonderful treatment is, even for those who are dreadfully ill. Hope that will help you think positive over the next few months.

Dear Ethelbags, your emotions must be all over the place, my thoughts are very much with you. After all the build up you must feel as if your worst fears have been realised. I know my mind would be all over the place - 19 years ago I was told I probably had breast cancer but, thankfully, after a fortnight of investigations I only needed a lumpectomy which turned out to be benign but I can still remember being in a total funk.
Knowing the diagnosis does must be so hard, but I'm sure you will get the best care possible - take it a day at a time and above all be kind to yourself.
We're all rooting for you, ((((((hugs))))))) and best wishes to you

ethelbags so sorry to hear your news. Do you know about the Cancer Research UK's chat line www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancer-chat/? ?
I have done fundraisers for CRUK and was amazed when 2 people I knew greeted each other like long lost friends they had been chatting on-line for a long time! There are also nurses who will help you out. Stay strong. If there is a CRUK Relay for Life near you they invite anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis to attend as a guest of honour. Well done for sharing your story it can't have been easy. Best of luck with your treatment.

I have no experience of any type of cancer so can't add anything to what's been said but I hope all goes well and send best wishes for a full speedy recovery.

how are you doing ethel?

Yes - how are you today ethel?

I hope you are OK ethel. Until my DH was diagnosed, we had no experience of cancer in our family (apart from my nephew who died of leukaemia at 16). It is frightening in the extreme. However, my DH has had wonderful treatment. He is having his radiotherapy in a private hospital (although on the NHS). It is a very small unit set aside from a main hospital, the waiting room only holds about 10 people. Tomorrow he will have his last session of 37 consecutive weekdays of treatment. When they said 37 days, we wondered how we would get through it but we have, hopefully with a positive outcome. It may sound strange, but we have sort of become part of a community at the cancer centre (a club we never wanted to join if you like). We have seen people come and go, men, women, some young, some not so young with various forms of cancer. We have all chatted about our concerns, talked about our families and lives and even had many laughs. Ethel, you will be supported by the hospital staff and those around you in similar circumstances. Good luck.

Been reading all of you your messages, many thanks. the message that is coming through is that the nhs will be helpful and supportive, I don't want any help Im only sharing this as I don't know anyone here(gnet). ~All I want is that they remove my tumour and let me get home, I cant stand the thought of macmillan because if they approach me I know my disease is terminal and I would want to die alone.
this is the really scary bit I just don't want them to be probing and asking how I feel all the time, the nurses I have met so far have been nice but they are paid workers, they switch off when they go home.
I don't want to join a 'cancer club' or have to talk to others about my illness.
the other thing is that a friend has told me I must be allocated a care manager and they will not release me until home care is in place. I cant stand other people being in my home, I feel violated. If they do housework I will feel bad as I hate my things to be rearranged. I cant face this thought. I just want to be normal again.

Ethel, I think you have the wrong image of MacMillan, they are not only around to help people who have terminal cancer, they help families with practical advice on benefits, you have mentioned in the past that you have a few part time jobs and you are unlikely to be earning anything for a little while; they will help with this, worrying about paying rent and bills is not going to help your recovery. I also think you are being a bit unfair on nursing staff, being paid for the job doesnt make them uncaring people. Don't shut people out, they are all trying to help, you sound justifiably frightened at what is happening, but let people help and then you will get what you want, back home and recovering and getting on with your life.

My DH has been told that they are 'looking to cure him, not just treat him' and we have a Macmillan nurse. As Gill says above, I believe everyone who is diagnosed with cancer is assigned a Macmillan nurse for support and guidance. Fortunately we have not had to call on her services but she is there if we need any advice/information.

www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/HowWeCanHelp.aspx This may help ethelbags have a read.

I don't mind being helped back to health-no probs but I don't see how this poking into my private life will help, I just want to go get this op over with and go home I will take medication as instructed I just cant see how this 'sharing' of my life will help. I will feel as if im in a goldfish bowl and having care workers will make me feel as if im useless. It is so hard to explain.
If you are living alone you don't think about how you will cope if you are ill but for me being in a relationship is utter misery, the one thing I would not like is having to look after a partner if they were ill. I aways said that I'm glad I live alone and no one to look after. I must be selfish I suppose but I'm glad I can rant and rave to you at gnet. xxx
Please don't think too badly of me .

We are all different ethel and you are clearly a very private person.

Being on the receiving end if care, concern and kindness does not make you "useless" - receive these gifts with grace. They are there for you, and we all need them at times.

I am going through a period in my life when I have had to sit back and let others care for me - it has been a valuable life lesson - not one I would have sought, but one that I can now value. I hope it will be the same for you.

Why would anyone be 'poking into your private life'? I know little about MacMillan nurses, but how I wish they had been around when my mother had cancer to reassure her and my father. They are not, as you seem to believe, a flock of vultures.

Ethelbags you seem to be almost lashing out in fear. I so wish I could give you a proper hug and tell you that everything will be alright, and the chances are that everything WILL be alright. As has been said in this thread, bowel cancer is one of the easiest ones to treat successfully. Indeed my cousin, who had a very large tumour has just finished a course of radiotherapy combined with chemotherapy and has been told that the tumour is now almost indistinguishable. Please try and accept help and comfort when it is offered, you DO NOT have to go through this alone. X

ethel I know exactly how you feel, I was just the same all I wanted to be was NORMAL. But looking back now although at the time it seemed for ever, time goes on and honestly you will cope far better than you ever think you will. Just don't let the bugger get you down, and it won't - well perhaps only a bit during any unpleasant stages of the treatment but really at this stage you probably don't know what will be done, so take each day as it comes.

I used to get up each morning and think "well I am still here" and then work out how I felt and dealt with it accordingly. Worked for me.

I am sure that if you make it clear what help you are prepared to have and what help you can do without thank you they will keep your wishes in mind.

One more thing ethel don't forget that this time between diagnosis and treatment is very trying and your emotions will be all over the place..

We had a shock when MacMillan rang up when my husband had cancer. In fact they were very useful, getting all sorts of help and equipment, knowing the right people, etc.
Give them a chance, Ethel, you might be surprised what a weight it will take off your shoulders.

I always thought macmillan were for those with only a few weeks left, they come to nurse them at home, they are death nurses and I am so scared. I am not up to dealing with this . I cant face the thought of a life with constant appointments and people coming to my house.

how will I know if a macmillan nurse is one who gives advice or one who nurses the terminal ill. I coudnt bear to be near someone who looks after the dying, that is how scared I am.
I even hate the thought of being in a hospital bed where someone has died. no one knows how scary this is, I cant even think of the future when I know I wont get better, I cant even imagine getting better. I have no thoughts of things being good any more. I cant be positive any more.

can anyone tell me how to concentrate, all I think about it cancer, I cant read for more than a couple of paragraphs, I haven't been on line for a week, I watch rubbish tv but even that doesn't help. I would like to be able to 'switch off' for just a short time but I cant I wake up in the night thinking about it. I tried reading the other posts on g net but I can only see them in relation to my illness, I cant work now and I feel Ive lost my identity, Im just a patient.
Some people so things despite their illnesses but I cant, I feel that its just a waste of time doing things. Help me someone.

They will help you, etheltbags1 - they will not be different nurses for different stages (at least our local ones, who are not MacMillan are not) but will be there for you to give support whilst you are having your treatment.
One came to help me with injections that I had to do until I could manage by myself.

Who says you won't get better? Just take a day at a time and try to stay positive.

thank you rose but im not positive, I just cant be.
I want this nightmare to go, I became like this when I got the results. I have never been a happy person really but I worry about what might happen, for years I thought I had about ten different cancers in anyone day. At 15 I thought I had breast cancer as one breast was bigger than the other, I have regular scans and nothing has shown. I used to record a message every year for my DD in case I died in the next year. If I was looking forward to an occasion I would worry in case I died before it.
I think that if you are happy and looking forward to something then something bad will happen. I used to worry that if I ate an egg sandwich I would have a heart attack due to the cholesterol.
So after being such a worrier now that I have a big worry I just cant cope with anything else. how can I help being a worrier.