cancer

ethel it may sound harsh but maybe you should stop searching other internet sites, you are making it ten times worse for yourself and your imagination is running riot. I know that you are scared stiff but you are making it worse by not believing what the consultant told you. At least you are having the scan done tomorrow and not having to wait until after Christmas. Good luck.

Oh ethel, sometimes feel like saying bugger the Internet! You need to believe what your consultant says, and the plans for your treatment, although I know it's easy for me to say.
((((Hugs))))) and love to you

I am so scared, I have been reading through various internet sites as I have not allowed myself to do for the last 2 weeks and I am so scared. It appears my tumour which, if its in the lymph nodes is called a stage 3. There are only 4 stages. None of the sites say that you can have chemo first, only if its too advanced to operate.
The doc was so pleasant but maybe put it too nicely, I think its much worse than I was told. I keep thinking of my lymph glands waiting for the next 3 weeks full of cancer cells that might break out at any minute.
I was told that there does not appear to be anything in my lungs or liver but my pet scan tomorrow may tell otherwise. I am back to square one, sleepless nights and worry worry worry.

ethel I haven't had time to go on Gn for a few days and have just read your latest postings and I am struck as to how you seem to be dealing with it much better than last time I looked!! Go with it, refuse to give in to the bugger girl!!! we are all behind you.

ethelbags thinking of you today.

I am glad that the consultation is now behind you and that a treatment plan is being instituted. The most important thing is that the spread is limited and they can zap the nodes with chemo. Stay strong - we are all behind you.

Best friend had same process with chemo first then op, and 18 months further on is fine, just has check ups every 6 months.
Will keep everything crossed for you, (((hugs)))

I had my meeting with Consultant today. It has not spread to vital organs but they think it has gone to my lymph glands, so I need another type of scan(tomorrow) to see just how far. I am about to go online to read about what happens when it does this. I cant have an op at the minute as they need to give me chemo first, then when when lymph glands are clear they can operate.
so Im back to the waiting game but at least I know a bit more than I did.
Please share with me any experiences of this.

Thinking of you ethel, and hope to hear from you on Monday, remember we are all here to offload on.

dear Ethel I am thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome xxxxxxxxxxx

etheltbags1 I do understand how you feel. You're anticipating the worst possible scenario, and that's only natural for a lot of us. Don't worry about diet or meditation for the time being (unless you want to!), those things will be more helpful later.

You will feel much more in control after Monday when you know what treatment you're going to be offered and have a timescale to relate to. Good luck!

Dear Ethel, positive vibes are sent your way and your Gransnet support system will walk with you every step of the way.

How good to hear you had a lovely week x

Getting edgy as Monday I find out my fate, sure the tumour will be everywhere and it will be bad news. I need as many fingers crossed for me as possible so please gnetters keep them crossed and legs too if possible on Monday.
Ive had a lovely week, going shopping, meeting with people I
ve never seen for ages and just spending time with DD and dgd but I have become more aware of how time passes in these last few weeks. I want to go back to having nothing more exciting/worrying than the bank statement coming in. I want a boring life with no worries. How ones priorities can change in a short time, I used to be so bored with life and look for excitement.

ethelbags I am sorry you are going through this difficult time. I hope you can keep yourself as well as you can by eating a plant based diet and cutting out sugar and processed food. joan's comments make a lot of sense, you can concentrate on doing the best you can for your body and could you do some relaxation classes or meditation. Being stressed will make you feel worse.

Don't worry about what other people think, I am sure everyone who is told they have cancer are terrified. Take all the help you can get. Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

If you are a very private person you don't like people even suspecting that you are terrified. It's perfectly reasonable to be terrified of The unknown and a major operation is the unknown but I think from what you have said you will be in the Newcastle area with some of the finest cancer treatment centres in the UK . If you're worried about people ferreting about in your private life they won't and don't and the surgeon is ferreting about in your innards,something more intimate than your home life and you won't have a clue about any of it because you will have a nice knock you out anaesthetic. And go to the GP they too are human and understand fear but you have to tell them.thay are not mind readers.

ethel don't beat yourself up about your reaction to your illness. Many of us would be in a similar state( including me) but do try to go to your doctor who I'm sure will be sympathetic and give you something to help your anxiety. Remember we will all be rooting for you. I think your brutally honest about your anxiety and I admire you for that many people wouldn't own up to it. keep us updated and best wishes.

ethel re your mother,when I told my mother I had Breast Cancer she shrugged and said "everyone gets over that now". She didn't tell anyone in the residential home she lived in so that when I didn't visit I was an uncaring daughter until I told them.just rise above it and concentrate on dealing with the treatment and GETTING WELL.

Your mother sounds as if she is in denial, which is making it all more difficult for you.

Keep a firm hold on your bank account! I can see that she thinks she may have to go shopping for you whilst you are recovering, but there must be another way round it without giving her control of your finances. I know she is your mum, but you are not a child any more.

The doctor is not going to put you in a mental hospital; he/she will be able to help you with your very understandable anxiety.

Foods rich in Vitamin D are good to boost your immune system (we don't get enough Vitamin D in this country, particularly in the winter), and if possible some Vitamin D tablets. You could ask your GP for a blood test to see if you have low levels of this vitamin and he/she can prescribe tablets for you.

MacMillan nurses are not just there for the dying, they will help in all kinds of ways on your road to recovery. We have a different charity here, and they are really most helpful, kind and cheerful, there to help you deal with your treatment and to listen if you need to offload.

Hello ethelbags please call MacMillan and get some help. Like everyone on here, I wish you well and worry about your anxiety which can be helped, there is no need to face all this alone. Offload your fears and anxieties to MacMillan, they will be able to help, it is what they do. Also, although i wouldn't wish to interfere, I seriously think that you need to keep your Mother at arms length, blaming you for getting the diagnosis and then wanting to take over your bank account are not helpful things to do. When you are recovering from cancer, or any major surgery, you need a good healthy well balanced diet not the cheapest stuff in the supermarket. MacMillan will help you with benefits and such to enable you to keep warm and well fed when you get home. Offload here as much as you need, we are all on your side ethel.

Hello Etheltbags
I think you might find this web site useful: https://www.beatingbowelcancer.org/forum/

As you are a regular user of gransnet then you are obviously computer savvy so joining the forum should not be difficult and you may find it helpful.

The acute anxiety you are suffering from (and we all have catastrophic thoughts from time to time!) is a different problem I think and one that may, if you are not careful, get in the way of your recovery. Please make an appointment to see the GP you like and trust most and go to talk to them about how anxious you are. If you cannot face talking to your doctor, try phoning the bowel cancer nurse helpline on:
08450 719301 or 020 8973 0011. These nurses are clinical specialists in bowel cancer and are kindness itself. You may not get through for a while, but it's worth persevering.
Remember bowel cancer is very treatable. My husband is testament to that as are so many of the other grans on this forum! And you may find you have more inner strength than you ever imagined!
When is your next hospital appointment?

Please don't lose hope, my best friend's brother is very stable with his at the moment, he was only given weeks to live last year and is now planning an extension at my friend's house. He looks very well. Apparently getting cancer when you are older (he is 59) is a good thing as it can be slowed right down if caught at the right point.

I am so very sorry, for your fear as much as for your illness, I just hope for your sake that the worry and fear is going to lessen as the shock of it all wears off. I do think you should be taking some kind of medication to at least help you to feel calmer, otherwise you will lose weight drastically because of all the adrenaline, and will have no reserves of strength to help you to recover or stabilise.

Oh dear, Ethel: you are suffering far too much since your diagnosis. All I can offer is empathy and some practical advice.

My brother in law has cancer of the oesophagus. He has finished his chemo and radiotherapy for now, and has been researching his disease. It has only a 5% survival rate, so he is ensuring he is part of that magic 5%. Every day he improves a little through the correct diet (though at present it is all pureed) .

The most important thing is diet: cancer feeds on sugar, so avoid sugar and starch at all costs (starch can break down into sugar). Use the ketogenic diet - ie high fat, low carb: lots of meat, oily fish, green veg, all veg, some fruit - not too much because of the fructose, plenty of eggs and cheese. Forget cholesterol worries - much of it is overstated anyway.

My older brother had brain cancer and after the standard medical treatment, he too went on the ketogenic diet and has been in remission for years.

If you find this a bit over the top, at least cut out sugar in all its forms. The ketogenic diet kept my brother healthy, and is aiding the recovery of my BiL. It works.

Oh ethelbags, my heart goes out to you, wish could say something that would help. Perhaps it's the fear of the currently unknown that is so frightening for you and others in that situation. Even as a nurse I'd be like you, and the image of Macmillan nurses certainly used to be as you describe. Nowadays all the organisations working with people who have cancer are much more about empowering, education and hope than they were, not just focused on terminal care but about living with a disease, not just cancer. (((((Hugs )))) and a big bunch of for you, and so, so wish I could do more.