cancer

www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/HowWeCanHelp.aspx This may help ethelbags have a read.

My DH has been told that they are 'looking to cure him, not just treat him' and we have a Macmillan nurse. As Gill says above, I believe everyone who is diagnosed with cancer is assigned a Macmillan nurse for support and guidance. Fortunately we have not had to call on her services but she is there if we need any advice/information.

Ethel, I think you have the wrong image of MacMillan, they are not only around to help people who have terminal cancer, they help families with practical advice on benefits, you have mentioned in the past that you have a few part time jobs and you are unlikely to be earning anything for a little while; they will help with this, worrying about paying rent and bills is not going to help your recovery. I also think you are being a bit unfair on nursing staff, being paid for the job doesnt make them uncaring people. Don't shut people out, they are all trying to help, you sound justifiably frightened at what is happening, but let people help and then you will get what you want, back home and recovering and getting on with your life.

Been reading all of you your messages, many thanks. the message that is coming through is that the nhs will be helpful and supportive, I don't want any help Im only sharing this as I don't know anyone here(gnet). ~All I want is that they remove my tumour and let me get home, I cant stand the thought of macmillan because if they approach me I know my disease is terminal and I would want to die alone.
this is the really scary bit I just don't want them to be probing and asking how I feel all the time, the nurses I have met so far have been nice but they are paid workers, they switch off when they go home.
I don't want to join a 'cancer club' or have to talk to others about my illness.
the other thing is that a friend has told me I must be allocated a care manager and they will not release me until home care is in place. I cant stand other people being in my home, I feel violated. If they do housework I will feel bad as I hate my things to be rearranged. I cant face this thought. I just want to be normal again.

I hope you are OK ethel. Until my DH was diagnosed, we had no experience of cancer in our family (apart from my nephew who died of leukaemia at 16). It is frightening in the extreme. However, my DH has had wonderful treatment. He is having his radiotherapy in a private hospital (although on the NHS). It is a very small unit set aside from a main hospital, the waiting room only holds about 10 people. Tomorrow he will have his last session of 37 consecutive weekdays of treatment. When they said 37 days, we wondered how we would get through it but we have, hopefully with a positive outcome. It may sound strange, but we have sort of become part of a community at the cancer centre (a club we never wanted to join if you like). We have seen people come and go, men, women, some young, some not so young with various forms of cancer. We have all chatted about our concerns, talked about our families and lives and even had many laughs. Ethel, you will be supported by the hospital staff and those around you in similar circumstances. Good luck.

Yes - how are you today ethel?

how are you doing ethel?

I have no experience of any type of cancer so can't add anything to what's been said but I hope all goes well and send best wishes for a full speedy recovery.

ethelbags so sorry to hear your news. Do you know about the Cancer Research UK's chat line www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancer-chat/? ?
I have done fundraisers for CRUK and was amazed when 2 people I knew greeted each other like long lost friends they had been chatting on-line for a long time! There are also nurses who will help you out. Stay strong. If there is a CRUK Relay for Life near you they invite anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis to attend as a guest of honour. Well done for sharing your story it can't have been easy. Best of luck with your treatment.

Dear Ethelbags, your emotions must be all over the place, my thoughts are very much with you. After all the build up you must feel as if your worst fears have been realised. I know my mind would be all over the place - 19 years ago I was told I probably had breast cancer but, thankfully, after a fortnight of investigations I only needed a lumpectomy which turned out to be benign but I can still remember being in a total funk.
Knowing the diagnosis does must be so hard, but I'm sure you will get the best care possible - take it a day at a time and above all be kind to yourself.
We're all rooting for you, ((((((hugs))))))) and best wishes to you

Etheltbags I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I can echo what some of the other GNs have said. Treatment is so good nowadays and I know two people who have come through it recently.

One of them was so ill that he would normally have only been given palliative care, but he was offered treatment because of his incredibly positive attitude and the surgeon felt he deserved a chance. He had surgery and chemo, then was 'replumbed' a few months ago and is back at work - on a building site!! I'm only relating that to show how wonderful treatment is, even for those who are dreadfully ill. Hope that will help you think positive over the next few months.

So sorry to read your news Ethel, but all is not lost. Last year, my hubby was being examined by his doctor because he was anaemic and the doctor was worried. He said he`d found what appeared to be a cancer in his bowel, but sent him for a scan to see if it had spread anywhere else. They stopped the scan halfway through, because they discovered something more worrying than the cancer, an aneurysm that had grown to 10cms without anyone knowing it was there! He was admitted there and then, had the operation to deal with the aneurysm, came home, a couple of weeks later he was called back for the bowel cancer op, so he had 2 major operations in 4 weeks! They successfully removed the cancer, and he`s now waiting for a date to go in to have the stoma reversed, he`s been told he`s fit for the op, just has to wait till he`s sent for.

So sorry Ethel to hear about your diagnosis. At least now you know what the problem is and you will receive the appropriate treatment. Take it a day at a time and remember we GN's will always be here to encourage you or listen to you when you need support

etheltbags I'm so glad that you shared this on Gransnet for a couple of reasons. Firstly I hope you've been encouraged by the strength of encouragement and support from G'netters, but also it's a bit of a reminder that we do need to take action ourselves when we think something isn't right. You've been really honest about how you ignored your own symptoms and posting about that may well cause someone else to go and seek help a bit sooner than they may have done otherwise. So thanks for sharing. I hope you are cheered by news of so many people recovering from cancer and reassured that whatever comes next there'll be someone here to 'hold your hand' or give you a virtual (((hug))) when you need a bit of support.

ethel After I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had exactly the same reaction as you - terrified that a loose cell would find its way into my body. That was 11 years ago.

But I found that this was the worse time between diagnosis and treatment. Once treatment started I felt less panicked.

I have two friends who have gone through this in the last couple of years, one found from the routine test and one who had symptoms. I have also heard a lot about a friend of one of them who also had symptoms. They are all three well now despite one of them having to have a second operation.

DH has just done the routine test and has been sent another one to do as his was doubtful so have a small idea of what you must be feeling. At the moment trying to keep his mind off it.

Big virtual hug.

Wishing you well, Ethel. You were brave to face up to your worries, and I admire your attitude.
Bowel cancer, I think, is one of the cancers with the best prognosis.
Bon Courage.

I've just come in and seen this thread, ethelbags. I can't add anything to the above advice and support but wish you all the best with your treatment.

As others have said, Take each day as it comes.

etheltbags1 I'm sorry that you've had this bad news. I have no experience to help you, but lots of positive reponses on here.
Take each day as it comes and the very best of luck.

Sending you a pm etheltbags. Exactly harrigran.

Hallo ethel. Altough I have no experience of bowel cancel, I had breast cancer 19 years ago so I do understand your feelings following the diagnosis. I found that once the treatment started it was easier to cope with than the waiting. The consultant said to me "I know you just want this thing out but be patient while we organise the best treatment for you and you wil feel better".
My neighbour, however, has had bowel cancer and five years on is fine.All your friends on gransnet will be with you and keen to follow your progress. Some times it is easier to talk to friends than family. My own family were wonderfully supportive but I tried not to burden them too much with my own fears. Good luck.

Besides blood (which is really hard to see anyway), the other major sign of bowel cancer is any change in bowel habits that lasts for more than 3 weeks. But there can be many reasons for that.
Don't blame yourself Ethel for not going to the doctor sooner - I would have been the same! But it's great that you did seek help and that you can take heart from the very many positive stories on this forum. BC is one of the most curable cancers around, if caught early enough. So bear up - and let us know how you get on.

I believe the Queen Mother had an operation, for the same kind of thing, and lived another forty years. All these people on GN will be holding your hand and willing you better

Good morning ethel and sorry to hear your news. I am now over ten years out of breast cancer - chemo, radiotherapy, the lot. It was not an easy journey, but, as everyone else is saying, one day at a time.

My breast care nurse was wonderful, and when I was worrying about all the "what ifs" her response was "If it happens, we'll deal with it!" Simple but oddly comforting. They will deal with everything as and when, so concentrate on now. As I said, not easy but keep as positive as you can.

Ethel My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year. He wanted his prostate removed so that it was well and truly out of his body. This was not possible however. He is coming to the end of his 37 consecutive days of radiotherapy. He has had very few side effects and will have a blood test in February to see if it has worked. When he was first diagnosed, he felt as you do. Has it spread, is it creeping around my body? Several scans showed that it had not spread. It is a terrible thing to hear that you or someone close to you has cancer. However treatment these days can be very successful. I know someone who had bowel cancer which then went to her liver. She is fine now. I hope all goes well for you.