Anxiety and panic.

So sorry, Falconbird. I had severe panic attacks after a dreadful couple of years too. My doctor referred me to Cognitive Therapy for six months.
It teaches you how to think differently about things, and how to cope when a panic attack happens. Basically, it's about realising that a panic attack won't kill you, and learning how to talk yourself out of it with certain words/phrases, and very importantly, how to breathe properly.
Where do your panic attacks happen mostly? With me, it was always in public, supermarkets in particular. I had to learn that I would not actually have a heart attack, as I imagined, and I had to tell myself this, out loud if necessary. And breathe slowly and deeply, telling yourself all the time that nothing awful will happen. At first, I used to abandon my shopping and leave the store, but gradually learned not to do that. It's a long slow process but it worked for me. I get very few attacks now, but when I do I can cope with them.
Also, my doctor prescribed anti-depressants for about 18 months. In some ways I wish I was still on them as they made me feel so much better.
I do wish you the very best of luck and hope you can overcome these feelings.

Falconbird, years ago now something similar happened to me in a very stressful period of my life. The GP offered CBT which I did find helpful but what cracked it for me was hypnotherapy. This is sometimes available on the NHS so it might be worth asking. Otherwise of course, it's find someone privately.

Thanks,

All very helpful advice. I have never abandoned my shopping but have come close to it once or twice. I wonder why supermarket create feelings of anxiety.

falcon henetha I also suffered with panic attacks in the past. A kind doctor explained it to me "It's no wonder, after all you've had to contend with in a very short space of time". He also told me to breathe deeply and "talk myself out of it" - including saying out loud "It is stress, it will pass" (not that I can imagine doing that in the supermarket)! This technique works, and it gets better each time and with practice. I no longer have anxiety attacks. And that's all I did, it was a long time ago, I wasn't offered medication.

I've never thought of it till now, but it certainly was a case of "what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger". I wouldn't wish it on anyone though.

There are lots of CBT techniques and mindfulness is very positive in this situation.

Just one little trick (there are many others): breathe in deeply to the count of 4 and breathe out to the count of 5. At the same time imagine yourself in a situation that has given you great pleasure. It might be a holiday venue or a concert or some other family happy moment. Stick with that a few times - the deep breathing will calm your heart rate, and the imagining will take you out of the situation that is frightening you. It does work - and gets batter with practice, so it is worth doing it at other times than when you are in a panic - that way you have it to hand when needed.

Falconbird, maybe it's the size of the space, or the people all around, or the expectations re rules about what you do?? For me, it became signing my name in the days before chip and pin. Some kind of panic about not signing in a readable way and then being challenged? Who knows but I got in an awful state and would only shop if I knew I had enough cash to pay with which required strenuous calculations on the way round!!

I can laugh about it now but at the time it was a real problem.

sorry, that was addressed to henetha really but to you too falconbird.

This is all so REALLY helpful. I seem to get stuck in the cycle of panic and it doesn't help me cope with all the other problems I have going on. I think as nans/grans we do have such a lot of experience to pass on.

Really helpful to me too. I've had several bad years and I'm suffering excessive anxiety at the moment. I've toyed with going back to the doctors, having recently been for something to help me sleep.
He suggested that my problem was anxiety.
My thoughts are, that as anxiety seems to, naturally, affect older people more, then I want to get myself better without tablets. I have friends that I can discuss it with (cbt) and I'm quite good at talking to myself about it.

You have all helped me to decide to 'do it myself', and if it doesn't work then I'll go to the doctor.

I used to have 'supermarket' panic attacks after leaving my first husband. They're not nice.

Falconbird - you are not alone as you can tell from the posts above. I've had terrible panic attacks and anxiety over the years. I see it as a build up of pressure (in my case). Terrible childhood, lots of family bereavements young and old, all my hair falling out and now my DH has cancer. I think sometimes we would be superwomen/men if we went through all that life throws at us without something having to give. I hope you find a solution and that you feel better soon

Oh thank you ladies, this has been so helpful I don't feel so alone. Is it your husband who has cancer KatyK I'm not sure of the abbreviations yet.

My son is struggling with cancer at the moment which has sent my anxiety levels sky high. I also have a son who is very moody and sometimes won't communicate with me and as I'm a widow I'm finding it all very hard. I also have two difficult daughters-in-law and have moved house twice in the past year.

There's a quote on Facebook which says Depression isn't a weakness, it's comes from being strong for a very long time.

I used to imagine myself in my late 60s being all calm and composed issuing wisdom with a serene smile. No chance - the slightest thing sets me off into a panic. I've tried the Mindful breathing so far and it is very helpful.

Falconbird that Facebook quote sums it all up beautifully for me. I 'crashed' spectacularly in early September after many years of being the 'strong' one and can empathise with how you're feeling. I too have started having panic attacks, mainly when in a crowded situation, and although I know how to manage them sometimes the brain won't cooperate so have taken to trying to avoid certain situations, but realise that sooner or later will have to be more proactive. Christmas crowds definitely to be avoided as much as possible.

Falconbird - yes it is my husband who has cancer. He has just finished seven weeks of radiotherapy and we are hoping for a happy outcome when he has tests in the New Year. How dreadful that your son has it. No wonder you are anxious. You have had so much to cope with. I completely agree that depression is not a weakness and comes from being strong for so long. I believe that people can take so much. I used to think that people who were depressed or panicky should pull themselves together. Oh how wrong I was. No one knows what others are going through. I am sending good wishes to you for your son's full recovery

I second that - so sorry that your son is unwell.

Falconbird that quote is so true. After a huge number of family issues I went to the doctors and, in tears (not me at all) said I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did as we had resolved this, that and the other problem - all pretty major when I look back - and, although it wasn't the same even keel as before I was back on some sort of safe ground. She said to me "what resources do you think you have left to draw on?" and she was right, I had used them all up. We then talked about how to rebuild them.

I think CBT can really help but like anniezzz09 I found hypnotherapy most useful and learned self-hypnosis which helped me relax enough to think through the situation.

If you find that you over breathe try breathing in and out of a paper bag a few times. This alters the level of oxygen and carbon dioxide going into your lungs and rebalances your system. It also makes you concentrate on your breathing and helps you to slow it down.

Falconbird. As a fellow sufferer with problems at the moment you have my sympathy. I would love a good nights sleep. Being religious, prayers help me plus the breathing exercises. I just wish my mind would rest sometimes

Hi KatyK

Good luck to your husband in the New Year.

My son finishes Chemo on the 21st of this month and we're keeping everything crossed for a good outcome.

Why is your hair falling out if you don't mind me asking. I lost a lot of hair when I was nursing my mum who had a bad dementia.

I think hair loss or thinning is connected to stress.

Did the doctor give you anything to help with your anxiety Falconbird? (if you don't mind me asking)

Yes I was prescribed Diazapam but only 2mg every other day. They are keen to change the drug because Diazapam is out of favour for some reason.

Diazepam can be addictive if you're on it too long. That wld be why its a short course. All the best to you in tough times.

Falconbird Thank you for your good wishes for my husband. He looks and feels well so we are hoping for the best. I hope your son has a happy outcome too. My hair has completely gone (has been about 5 years now). It was pretty horrendous I have to say. After many tests etc it was decided it must be alopecia.I have invested in a good hair system which looks very real (not a wig). I don't want to hijack your thread with my hair loss! It is well documented on the Blogs forum Female Hair Loss thread. I hope you feel better soon

I would have thought that citalopram would be the best thing to take, the downside being that it's very difficult to come off it once you start.