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To dye or not to dye?

(66 Posts)
Leah11 Tue 03-Feb-15 16:13:54

Hi. I am 65 and have let my hair go silver, as I am allergic to the PPD found in most hair colorants. However, I am constantly being told that it is aging and that I would look much younger with my hair coloured. Indeed, my Grandchildren think I am the oldest of their Grandmothers, because the other is "blonde". Does anyone have any news of a safe hair dye, as I am beginning to feel that they are right, and perhaps I am looking older than I need to?

FarNorth Sat 07-Feb-15 12:53:57

Leah11
As you are good with make-up, it could be a good idea to get some new suggestions from a consultant (preferably free, as suggested by janeainsworth) rather than go to a lot of trouble with your hair.

Holiday in the sun sounds like a great idea too smile.

goldengirl Fri 06-Feb-15 18:02:19

I have short hair - sometimes spikier than others depending whether I put 'product' on it as they say. I was a mousey brown which has now turned peppery grey. I have a fabulous hairdresser in a salon where they paint on colours which blend with ones own but give it a lift. I've had hints of brown with a bit of maroon previously but this time I've gone for blonder colours. I love it and having to sit with a coffee, biscuit and magazine and be waited on for about an hour altogether [including washing & trimming] is, in my view, absolute bliss. Give it a whirl Leah11! If you don't like it it will wash out eventually and will certainly fade out within a few months without showing defined roots.

Grannynise Fri 06-Feb-15 17:05:30

Spiky, short, silver hair, preferably with a slight sun tan is my preferred 'look'. I don't think it is ageing at all - just my own special version of blonde.

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 09:39:48

Leave your hair silver Leah especially if you are alkergic to the chemicals in hair dye.

One of my friends who is younger than me has had silver hair for years. It always looks lovely because she has a really good cut frequently. She is lucky in that her hair is fairly straight and strong and she had it cut in an immaculate bob, now a bit shorter fashionable style.
It's the cut that is important, straggly grey or silver hair can be ageing - if it's long and you can't bear to cut it then wearing it up can 'lift' you.

I agree about having a makeup session (if you wear it) as wearing the right shade for your hair colour could make all the difference.

Don't worry about the other Granny. Young people can be very cutting without meaning to be, just smile and say 'yes, dear' and ignore them.

Marty Fri 06-Feb-15 09:13:05

I stopped colouring my hair about 5 years ago and I am loving it. I have grey sunburns - like Stewart Granger - and it looks great. I used to spend a fortune at the hairdresser colouring my hair every 6 weeks or so. The feeling of relief at not doing that anymore is wonderful. I do think it helps to have a trendy haircut. Mine is spikey and short. A bit of gel in the morning and I am set for the day.

Falconbird Fri 06-Feb-15 09:10:41

Love this thread.

I had dark brown hair and started going grey in my early thirties. I tried every hair colourant I could find. I had a colouring accident in my forties and my hair turned green! It had to be reprotenised and I ended up with red hair.

In my fifties I had blonde streaks until my hair went very thin on top and then I had a full hair blonde colourant - until I suddenly decided to go grey and I've never looked back.

It's such a relief to be grey and proud. I don't have streaks or coloured highlights but you can have all sorts of streaks put in if you're grey.

I've seen many grey haired ladies with coloured streaks, purple and red - not for me but fun if you fancy it.

westieyaya Fri 06-Feb-15 08:47:05

I used to colour my greying hair and was horrified when I noticed on a photo how dead it looked against my naturally aging skin. I immediately had it cut very short and quickly grew out the remaining colour. It's now silvery white, I keep it very short and spiky and it always looks shiny and healthy, my family think it looks great and the way my 5 yr old grandson recognises generational ages is by hair colour

jo1book Thu 05-Feb-15 23:21:20

Just go to a good hairdresser who will make it look as natural as possible. This will involve two or three colour applications to make it look nice so be prepared to pay.

adelaide Thu 05-Feb-15 21:59:58

I am 75 and stopped colouring my hair about 10 years ago, I have no regrets. My skin is quite fair, and I think as we get older everything sort of fades so find that I do need to apply some colour in the form of moisturiser or foundation. Also another tip is invest in some wigs, I have two, in my own colour and one in a very pale blond. They are fantastic especially if I am having a bad hair day! I ignor all the people who say that once you get over a certain age you shouldn't have long hair. Mine is long and I wear it up in a very smart style, the wigs are short and many folk just ask if I have been to the hairdresser.

PPP Thu 05-Feb-15 18:32:35

Sorry Jackiekiel, I hadn't read your post, and didn't mean to be rude about your subtle colour. I am sure it is lovely?

PPP Thu 05-Feb-15 18:25:39

I went 'grey' when I was young and liked the fact that people thought that I was blonde like my daughter. For many years I have been white haired. If I am tanned, or have good make-up, I think I look good. The main thing is to resist 'old lady', feathery cuts. Keep it sharp and avoid yellowing. Also, emphasize the eyes with lots of eyeliner and mascara. Pretend you are the editor of Vogue or some such!

But I agree that we all glance at a woman with silver hair and think 'old' whereas with a man we think 'mature'. It's not fair, is it. But think of all the money you are saving by not having it dyed and look how harsh dyed brown/black looks on older women and how commonplace is the mink coloured 'blonde'.

jackiekiel Thu 05-Feb-15 18:15:29

I've always battled with fine hair which, now I've gone grey, has coarsened to a reasonable texture. I'm actually allover white but have found that John Frieda's Liquid Shine Brilliant Brunette Color Glaze, applied for a few minutes every shampoo or two, gives my hair a very subtle mink-coloured sheen. I can no longer buy it across the counter here but bought several bottles online and hope I can continue to do so.

Wheniwasyourage Thu 05-Feb-15 17:41:31

Leah111, just tell yourself that your DH would still think that you were beautiful and try to think about that if anyone is rude enough to comment adversely on your hair colour. The prettiest older woman I know is now 70 and has had white hair for more than 10 years. (She too has lost her DH.)

My mother went grey at 35 and said that she would be glad when she went completely white as it would look better. It did! Although my father never lost his hair colour completely, and she looked older than him, he thought that she was perfect, so she felt confident.

Sararose Thu 05-Feb-15 17:18:44

I am 71 now but have had silver hair since I was about 50! I used to colour it but it looked awful as it grew out so I had it cut short. People often ask me where I have it coloured so it must look alright! For special occasions I use Touch of Silver conditioning spray which gives a lovely shine.

I too have a hairdresser who bleached her hair and then coloured it a mauvy grey. i thought mine looked better than hers!

seacliff Wed 04-Feb-15 22:51:59

My previously dark hair is a horrible mix of faded brown and grey, so I dye it using a professional colour that I get from a hairdressing wholesalers. It is Wella Colour Touch and only lasts for a few weeks as it has no bleach and just lays on the hair giving a nice gloss.

However if I had hair like yours Leah I would stick with the beautiful silver, especially as your husband loved it, possibly with a funky new cut. My very glam Aunty had silver hair and often wore a scarf with clear vivid colours like pink and lilac, which really complemented her colouring.

jeanie99 Wed 04-Feb-15 21:57:25

I have my hair dyed and it really is an on going event every few weeks plus it costs money.
My mother had silver hair and it was beautiful, stay with your hair colour.
You could have a restyle and also have a re think perhaps about your clothes and make up.
Take up a hobby do something you have always wanted to do get out there and live life.

Leah11 Wed 04-Feb-15 20:01:51

Mishap. Thank you for your lovely comment. I think what you said is so true, and wise.

I think, because of the time of year, I am feeling a bit low. I have lovely clothes, my hair is the colour of Judy Dench's, and I have always been good with makeup etc. Perhaps a holiday is called for, nothing like a touch of sun to cheer you up! lol!

Thank you for all your comments. Appreciated.

Grannyknot Tue 03-Feb-15 22:34:53

Oops not sure about the PPD content in the above products!

Grannyknot Tue 03-Feb-15 22:33:37

Hi Leah - my hair is fairly white (grey) and I'm very happy with it since I no longer colour it. But when I feel like "jazzing it up" a bit, I either use "A Touch of Silver" shampoo (which is sort of the modern equivalent of the 'blue rinse' and I leave it in for a while). Makes my hair a deeper grey, takes the dull whiteness away. Or, I buy "Milkshake" (conditioner with a toner in it) in either Powder or Gray and pop that on. It washes out. It seems expensive but a bottle lasts me for about a year:

www.milkshakehaircare.co.uk/milk-shakedirect-colour-cipria-powder.html

Ask your hairdresser's advice, I wouldn't like to be responsible in case you try it and it "takes" differently on your hair.

smile

etheltbags1 Tue 03-Feb-15 22:18:01

my pink is going on again this week. I feel 'safe' with my pink stripes.

rosesarered Tue 03-Feb-15 19:59:01

Surely a good hairdresser can tell you what chemicals are in their own hair dyes? Rather than an all over look [which results in awful roots] have some [safe] brown lights put in your hair rather than blonde, which won't look right with silver.If you don't think it's enough, have the hairdresser put in more, until you are happy with it.

janeainsworth Tue 03-Feb-15 19:47:40

I have mine professionally coloured, but that's because it's white at the front and edges and brown on the top, and I don't like the bi-colour look.
I'd be quite happy if it was silver!
Three things Leah.
One, you're not in competition with the other grandmother. Just be happy being yourself.
Two, go and get a make up lesson! Bobbie Brown do them free in John Lewis.
Three, treat yourself to some new clothes - take one of your young critics with you if necessary! Buy something that will make you feel like a new woman.
It's your business what you look like - just please yourself smile

Mishap Tue 03-Feb-15 18:53:32

If I were you Leah I would take the advice of your husband - he knew and loved you just as you were and still are.

Leah11 Tue 03-Feb-15 18:16:14

Hi Pittcity. I have noticed, try to keep up with trends. I do use a brightening shampoo, my hair is a lovely colour, it just makes me look older than my counterparts, as they all dye their hair ;o)

Pittcity Tue 03-Feb-15 18:13:29

My hairdressers has several employees in their twenties who dye their hair white with a blueish tint. It is very fashionable at the moment!! Have you tried a brightening shampoo for grey hair or do they have nasty ingredients too?