cancer

That's good news ethel, now concentrate on eating well and looking after yourself, and relaxing!

That is excellent news etheltbags

Onwards and upwards now!

going back to the OP regarding cancer, I have had my results from detailed scan and they say there are no tumours to be seen and I need no further treatment just check ups every few weeks to be sure everything is ok. Big sigh of relief

See thread on psychic children!

Come on Ethel, get a grip! Or go and see your GP and ask for some help in tackling your anxiety state.

Famous last words, whitewave!

Well ethel at least you aren't worrying at the moment - so you can have a bit of a break and relax.

You've been very adept at using common sense in all this ethel and it's great that your pets bring you so much pleasure.
I can totally understand your fears, you've done so well

I have had animals since I was 15, I always looked after my animals with love and care and with no fear of germs etc. Until 2 years ago I had 4 cats and a huge lurcher and they all slept on my bed, I would sleep with the littlest cat around my neck and would wake up with my face buried in her fur. I lost two of my cats and my dog so I am now left with 2 cats and when I had to take chemotherapy Iwas instructed on how to deal with infection as my immune system would be lessened. I learned that cats in my bed could cause all sorts of infection, they run over my kitchen worktops so I had to remember to use antibac spray regularly. I was told to use gloves for cat lit cleaning, I also had to use gloves to do my dishes and to peel veg, I wasn't allowed to eat fruit unless it was washed and peeled (how do you peel strawberries) so I avoided fruit unless it was apples. I realised that feet coming in my house could carry dog dirt so I made everyone take off their shoes, my mother is terrible with a cold and coughs in everyones face. I would worry all night the whole time I was on chemo it was a nightmare. I am now not on chemo and waiting to see if I need any more so I am not so bothered but if I have to have more I will be worrying again.

And presumably said cat was already in residence before ethel was diagnosed with cancer and became concerned about hygiene.

Its not it's stupid iPad

Durhamjen no one owns a cat . If they think they do they are sadly mistaken. A cat condescends to let you feed and nurture it ,mop up it's revolting accidents and will grace your home with its presence/ presents/ prescience.

Why do you have a cat if you are so concerned about hygiene?

I agree Stansgran, ethel's one sparky, strong lady

I think we are all rather fond of you.

Would putting cat litter stuff over the sick absorb it and deodorise it a bit? Long time since I had a cat so I've forgotten . Glad to see you are getting your feistiness back Etheltb . (But you are sounding a bit like a stroppy teenager )

Give it time and these frustrations will pass. Just hang on in there.

You can't be very horrible ethel or we wouldn't all keep coming back I think most of us understand how you feel at the moment which is why we want to chip in with suggestions for you.

I wish I'd had GNs to moan at 3 years ago. Believe me ethel I was every bit as frustrated, impatient, exasperated and cheesed off as you.
I agree with mcem, it will pass, it's just difficult for you to see more that a day or so ahead.

Keep posting! X

Horrible and ungrateful? Absolutely not!
Impatient and frustrated ? Yes, and understandably so!
Of course you're fed-up and it's rotten luck that at a different time you'd be helping a friend in need.
We all know that it's easy to say but not so easy to do - be KIND to yourself.
Posting here will help and it's better to get things off your chest on GN than bottling up your frustrations or taking them out on 'real people'.
I hope my post wasn't too harsh - all I want to say really is that this will pass.

I agree with all the comments I am horrible and impatient, ungrateful and everything else. I am just me and cant help who I am. I am glad I have some people who even bother to rely to my post.
and eating humble pie.
my friend has had 2 hip ops in 4 weeks and is recovering slowly, her cancer was eating away at both her hips and there is no cure, she starts radio therapy this week and I cant help her or go to visit and she is so positive. yes I could be much worse.

I sincerely wish you better ethel but I'm seeing your last post from your mother's point of view. My daughter is chronically ill, registered disabled and relies on family for help most of the time.
When she's ill or exhausted and stuck in bed for days on end we step in.
Can you imagine how hurtful it is when you spend hours not only looking after the children but also mucking in with the housework, only to be met with complaints ?
'You've folded t-shirts and put them in drawers. I want them on hangers in the wardrobe! I don't like the way you've stacked the dishwasher!' etc etc.
Trivial but frustrating. Frustrating for her because she can't do these things herself and frustrating for me!
This situation is unlikely to change, whereas a family friend who underwent bowel and lung cancer ops plus chemo is fit enough to be one of her main helpers.
Not a criticism but maybe a reality check?

I suggest that you appreciate your mother while you still have her. There have been times when I'd have given the earth to have mine around, no matter how much she annoyed me - and she did! I must confess that I have a degree of sympathy for her. She's trying to be helpful and you have shunned all help from such people as McMillan who might have been able to point you in the right direction to get some domestic support.

I agree with Ana you are so fortunate to have any family to help you at all. After my knee replacement I was relying on friends and neighbours to help me as I do not have any family.

I have said it before and I will repeat myself, get a grip on yourself. You are not doing yourself any good carrying on like this. You have a problem, it is being siorted, you have to get better and that takes time and a lot of rest.

I am beginning to feel sorry for your poor mother!

I can understand how your emotions are like a roller coaster at present and wonder whether whatever medication you are on might be adding to or even causing your stress levels.
However, you should not even think about things like grass cutting or hoovering nor indeed whether your mother will be offended if you get in some help. So try Age UK for advice and assistance.
Basic hygiene on your part will be sufficient to protect you from infection - people have survived in far far worse conditions. You are one of nature's worriers (!) but for your own sake try to to let it become an obsession.
on the results !