My daughter died ten days ago

It is good that he has people around him; but a shame that your plans did not work out. Can the meat go in the freezer and make your planned meal another day?

Sorry about the colitis - it is so painful and a bit of a social problem - I know, having had IBS for decades - it goes cramp your style a bit.

Take care. x

Oh what a disappointment Alie we start out with good intentions!! Perhaps you can take comfort that so many people have his interests at heart.

Yes, well, it didn't work out well. I went with good intentions, to make K and the kids a good meal and see and talk with him....and so many other people turned up that it wasn't possible, and we ended up at a pub for food, where he got really depressed because he had last been there with Jayne.....altogether not a good day!!!!

I am tired and upset, and my colitis is immediately acting up again.

Yesterday was a REST day, as I slept very little the night before. Boring though. Last night was better and I am heading for Oxford again...maybe Sunday would be the best day to go. The parking is easier too!

Yes lucky I have my downtimes, and did yesterday evening....but sleep heals.

Must pick mint to go with the lamb I am taking.

It's hardly any wonder you're tired Alie, you must be so weary. You're often in my thoughts.

'...it's the last thing you want just now!' - so I have told the doctor at the JR today. I said, NO. But even doing that is stressful!

Yes I have seen K and the two boys and had a meal, and going back Sunday. It is easier with the new car. But I am tired.

I do think that those of you who have lost children are brave in the sense that Nfk describes. But I am sure that now and again that is not possible and it is fine to let go, before re-charging your batteries and facing the world again. I have you in my thoughts.

Nfk your post 8:15:16 Well said

(I had an endoscopy last week Allie. Definitely agree - it's the last thing you want just now!)

Hope you manage to see K.

Brave I suppose as in not turning into a heap of self pitying, blubbering jelly, curling up in a corner hiding in a darkened room - as I fear I would. But instead getting out there, helping others, keeping life going, seeing the beauty not just the pain..... Ready to face and endure? Yes! You're all brave!

Just thinking of you many times during each day.

Going for an appt at the JR in Oxford today re my colitis, which is just about under control. Hoping they won't want an endoscopy!
Trying also to arrange to see K, so will text him when I get out and hope it is ok.....

From definition........ 'ready to face and endure'

yes phoenix there is no option.....

You are right phoenix and as I posted it, I wondered if it was the wrong word. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words - but the motive is to express some fellow-feeling, so I hope it is read in that spirit. x

It's not brave, Luckygirl there is no option.

- you are all so brave; and in my thoughts.

Alie I understand about the street thing. It was the "never" that hurt, at times it was (and still is) an actual, physical feeling.

The fact that I would never see him running across the square towards me, with that grin. I would never answer my phone to find it was him on the other end. I would never open the door to find him standing on the step.

Allie

That is lovely Anya I could do with a drawer full of those cards. I seem to know so many people going through a bad time.

X

((Hugs)) Alie
You're in my thoughts so often, and to me words are woefully inadequate. Like annsixty I guess the only option is a day at a time and keep trying to cope x

Most of us, sadly there are a few, will never be able to imagine the pain you are going through. I suppose the only thing is to live each day as well as you can because there is no other way to get through it.

Isn't supposed to be this way round, is it?

And...'lost' is somehow the right word - she's in the next room, just out of reach, still there somewhere...
I have started to see her in the street, only it never is her

I touch her picture and say Goodbye

Love to you too - Alie

Alie....I also have lost an adult daughter....All anyone can say is "Hang in There" because that's all you CAN do. Sending love over the air .....Marseea