Bl**dy cancer

Very sad indeed Soutra. I lost my closest friend to pancreatic cancer, in a matter of less than 6 months from diagnosis, aged 52- 14 years ago. Still think of her almost daily. Another of ovarian cancer, aged 53. A colleague with teenage children aged 49. And a friend of DD2 and one of my ex students, with 2 young daughters, of bone cancer, aged 39. Another battling with oesopagus cancer, after chemo, radiotherapy and full ablation and replacement- age 66. It's awful and all around us.

So sorry, Soutra. Cancer is a heartless thing, striking randomly, so often at people who least deserve it. I lost a good friend just over a year ago. It was so sudden, such a shock to all of us. One day we were having coffee together, chatting away as normal, and a week later I found she was in hospital terminally ill with a brain tumour and stomach cancer. There seemed no sense to it. She just about survived to see her 64th birthday 2 months later.

I am so sad for you to have lost a good friend, someone who sounds as if she was an inspiration to all who knew her. Her inspiration will live on.

One of my old schoolfriends died in her early 60's. She was a lifelong non smoker who ate a healthy diet and walked for miles. Her idea of a family holiday was walking up and down hills - she used to make me feel really lazy. She died of lung cancer which apparently can be very aggressive in a non smoker.

Very sorry to hear this Soutra. Like most people on this thread I too have lost some good friends to cancer. It is so painful, isn't it. So often the grief of friends is forgotten. My best friend died of ovarian cancer which is still one of the very virulent, difficult to diagnose forms. She was also a healthy lively positive person. I think we need to move away from connecting cancer with how people lead their lives.

In my own case of breast cancer, I had done all the right things. Breastfed babies until their 2nd year. Never took HRT. But it still got me. Although I was lucky. Early detection and effective treatment have given me 6 years and counting. Thanks to NHS!!

Here are some more for you.

So sorry for you Soutra I lost a dear friend in her latest fifties a few years ago to a brain tumour, she had been treated for depression and was only diagnosed when she had secondary cancer and it was too late. She was the life and soul of the party and so kind. I still treasure the time I spent with her in her last months as we shared many private moments. I still think of her with affection and was glad I knew her. Grief is the price we pay for love, when you think of her think how she enriched your life, she remains in your heart.

My son has recently gone into remission from colon cancer. His Consultant said that there is no real explanation for cancer, it's just bad luck. Cells divide all the time and can go haywire at any time .

My mother ate badly, worried all the time, smoked a lot and lived cancer free until she was 90.

In my family there have been two deaths from cancer, two survivors and one recently diagnosed.

Cancer is a b-----d but the medical profession are working all the time to defeat it and are having successes i.e. my son and a cousin who had colon cancer and has been free from it for 10 years.

I've only just read this thread soutra, not much more to say really except to send you (((hugs))) and

Thinking of you Soutra.

Soutra That is sad for you. Two losses in a very short time.

So sorry Soutra. It's a terrible thing. Apart from the smoking link with respiratory cancers it seems complete pot luck as to who draws a short straw. At least progress is being made - with some cancers at least.

I am so fed up with hearing about cancer too, it scares me but the people I depend upon have it too.

My friend has just had a double hip replacement as it was in her hips, she cant drive for 3 months and is as frustrated as me at not getting out. This lady has taken me to appointments. My other friend who had a stroke just before I was diagnosed has a partner who has given me lifts to and from the hospital and he has now just had an op for cancer and cant drive.
The lady I swim with has just had treatment for skin cancer but luckily it is no more than a special cream and she is ok now.(fingers crossed).

It is just so much a part of our lives that we must just live with it and get on with what we like to do best. I worry that if I am off work much longer I will have to sell my house and probably have to take an oap bungalow or worse. I get really down thinking about it but it makes no difference. The worst part is that I Spend days without seeing anyone as I cant drive and the bus is expensive. without realising cancer ahs changed my life so I feel sympathy for anyone else who has it

First of all I would like to apologise for not being more mindful of etheltbags and all coping with cancer or chronic illness when I had my rant but you have made a good point ethel about the expense of chronic illness and the additional worry regarding finance at a time when all your energy should be directed towards getting better or coping with your treatment. Financial stress is the last thing you need!
I have resigned myself to the fact that every hospital clinic appointment for DH leaves us no change out of £60 not counting anything to eat or drink on the day. Sometimes there have been 2in a week, but on average I suppose we have to go to London twice a month. If the appointment requires peak hour travel, the figure can go up to nearer £80. Why do it? Well you only have one life and if you are on "the books" of one of the 5 national centres of excellence for one illness and one of only 2 for another, well we'd be mad to miss out. Other things have to go, holidays, weekends away, but there are more important things!
To get back to you etheltbags financial advice may be available from Macmillan and cancer, unlike some other chronic or terminal conditions may qualify you for other concessions. Money troubles should be the last thing on your mind.

Its ok soutra you didn't need to apologise, maybe our posts will make others realise just how expensive it is. Money is not something you would associate with cancer or other illnesses.

I was actually going to say what Soutra has with regards to Macmillan; I'm sure that financial help/advice has been mentioned in some of their adverts, and that they will advise with regards to any financial help that is available.

My DH has cancer, now thankfully in remission. He was diagnosed last year and after what he went through and what we saw and heard from other sufferers, he has volunteered to become a sort of 'cancer buddy'. He is going through the training at the moment and he will take patients to and from their appointments, who have no other way of getting there or no money for public transport/taxis etc. He may also sit and talk to people who have no one etc. He will be paid expenses. What I am trying to say is that there are some organisations out there who can help when people are struggling financially. Like people have said above, finance should be the last thing people have to think about when suffering with cancer but unfortunately it has to be taken into consideration.

ethelbags if you haven't already do speak to Macmillan and see what advice their benefits people can give you. We found them invaluable when DH became ill and they may well suggest benefits yiu didn't even realise you could apply for. I originally went along with what the Job Centre told us and it was all completely wrong! We would hve been in an awful mess if Macmillan hadn't sorted it for us.