Diagnosis.

harrigran and rubylady I am truly sorry and shocked to learn of your news.

I had bowel cancer twelve years ago which fortunately was cured by the operation and didn't have to have chemo. Two weeks ago found something and was very worried until yesterday after colonoscopy was declared clear. Before that I had decided that at the age of nearly 93 if it had returned I would refuse chemo having seen my husband and sister both suffer the effects only to pass away after a few miserable months.

harrigran this must be a difficult time for you, sending you lots of hugs and best wishes.

ruby I think your dad forgetting what is going on is a blessing, otherwise he is only going to worry.

Ruby lady and Harrigran-hugs and for you both. You are in my thoughts.

I am trying to do the normal things like the GC's school concerts. Yesterday we had to leave the house at 8.15 to drive 45 minutes, until 8.10 I wasn't sure I would make it, I did and it was worth the effort. DD returns to the UK, for two weeks, next week. It was awful having to give her that news on Skype.

I have also just caught up with this thread and am sending lots of love healing thoughts for both of you.

ruby, I'm sure you are being a huge help to your father and it is maybe a blessing that he forgetting as he may not remember enough to worry.

Harri, I can't think of anything to say except to send you (((hugs)) and ask you to remember that we are here if you want to offload to us rather than DH or your DC. Keep talking to us.

rubylady and harrigran, I've only just come upon this thread. So sorry to hear such bad news

for all who are struggling. My DH was diagnosed with cancer last year and thankfully is now in remission. I totally understand all that this terrible diagnosis brings with it.

Dear harrigran and rubylady sending you both very best wishes.
My mum (also in Manchester ruby) had a very successful operation to treat cancer of the pelvic girdle earlier this year, so there is always hope of a full recovery. As a family we also found the MacMillan nurses are a great source of support and advice.

Harri I have only just read this thread. I am so sorry to hear your awful news and send my love and To be supported by a loving family and friends after a devastating diagnosis is half the battle. Keep positive....

Thinking of you Rubylady and Harrigan. (((hugs)))

Hi harrigran hi went through same diagnosis last year I felt better once plan for treatment was in place I have finished treatment had my first haircut since hair returned take care of yourself and if you want to rant and rave I am here ??

ruby being positive and making him smile is the best thing you could do at the moment

harri I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Keep your chin up and think positive until those results are through.
((((Hugs))))

Thinking of you rubylady. I am having a full body CT scan on Friday night and an MRI next Thursday. The waiting is awful, you have the diagnosis but they won't talk to you until all the test results are back

We're back at The Christie on Friday for a full CT scan to see it the cancer has spread further than his groin.

I've done nothing but sleep all day today, I'm really shattered. I know my dad is a bit sore after his surgery last Friday but he seems in good spirits, which I'm happy about at least. He does keep thinking though that when he comes home, he doesn't have to go back again until I tell him that he does, that's not good, but I soon have him joking about again.

Harrigran (((hugs))) for you as well.

Very difficult times Rubylady ((((hugs)))) A lot will depend on how far the cancer has gone and how much his dementia my affect his ability to make informed decisions about his treatment.

I would suggest talking to the Macmillan nurses as well.

Harrigran - I am glad that DH is there beside you - you must both be going through such a difficult time. Good luck with the scan. I think the waiting for these things is so difficult to deal with.

Harrigan One step at a time, eh? That's how I'm doing things. It's too much to think about going further than the next appointment really. I am glad to hear that your husband is supporting you, giving you the hugs you need, along with your children and all the good wishes from everyone on here. My dad is due his body scan within next two weeks too, he thought today that once he had had his operation it was all over and he didn't need to go back. He was sad when I said that wasn't the case, until I had him smiling again. I'm not blowing my own trumpet saying that, it's hard to keep coming up with corny jokes to make him smile but I do try. Keep posting on here, let me know how you are doing and I will send good thoughts your way.

We had to be there this morning for 7 am, my dad up at 1am as he has no alarm clock and didn't want to overlie (I have bought him one now) and I was up at 3.30 am to get my tablets etc before picking him up in a taxi. Luckily he was first on the list at 9 am so it was soon done, the waiting was for his discharge and medication. As it was done under local, we could go home soon as these were sorted. We arrived back at 2pm just in time for coffee and mince pies and seeing the Christmas tree being finished decorated and everyone there in the sheltered accommodation where he lives. It was nice, songs playing, people chatting, being supportive but looking forward to Christmas too and the events which they put on in next couple of weeks which I will join in on to make some memories, a choir coming and a brass band.

I think it is important to share other times too and not just be seeing him at hospital times as this will alter our relationship. We need to have some fun too. It's his first Christmas living in the accommodation, last year he was in his other flat with no one around so I want him to have a good time this year. Everyone has been so kind to us both, which at Christmas gives it the true meaning, giving of yourself and your love. X

I'm thinking positive thoughts harrigran and sending hugs. I'm sure your lovely DH will give you strength and be there to shoulder your worries. It's a blessing to have your son nearby as well. Children seem to be remarkably able and comforting in these situations. I'll keep you in my prayers through these trying days.

rubylady, I have a very loving DH who is supporting me. DS lives 45 minutes away but DD lives abroad. Although I saw a consultant privately I will now have to revert to NHS so that treatment can be coordinated. it will be 10 days before I have a full body scan and then they will discuss what treatment I will have. I am in the north east and I will probably be just treated at the local hospital.

Ruby will he remember to be nil by mouth?

Judging by our experience Rubylady you should find that the hospital take quality of life very seriously and won't want to use any treatment just for the sake of it. Such a worrying time for you though

Harrigran and ruby sending and hugs to you both. Always a hand to hold here.

& {{hugs}} harrigran, I'm so sorry to hear this, you must be reeling.
My thoughts are with you x