Diagnosis.

Harrigran

Rubylady and Harrigran.....a hug and a hand to hold

What a positive message ruby lady. It's good to read the local hospital has been so good and that the ambulance is available for transport to the Christie. You are so right about the skill available there. I have a close family member in treatment there currently and a friend who is part of a research project there. My dad was successfully treated there - we're so lucky to have it in our area. Enjoy that brandy

Thank you all for your very kind messages and support, it will be invaluable in the coming months.

Harrigan I cannot even think what it must be like to be the person diagnosed, just being on the outside of it all is bad enough. Have they said any more about it? What treatment, etc? Where are you being seen, which hospital? We are going to The Christie in Manchester, luckily we live not very far away and the ambulance transport have been wonderful, as have all the staff at the hospital, we could not have asked for better. I do hope you are able to have treatment and to beat this awful disease. What support do you have at home? You can PM me if you want. Just remember that new treatments are being discovered all the time now. Keep your chin up, being possitive is half the battle, I think. I try to keep my dad laughing, his body will fight it better with a positive attitude, maybe? I will think of you and wish you all the best, obviously, do little things which make you feel good. Oh, and by the way, my dad has penile cancer, so maybe not the same one as you. (meant as a bit of a joke, but true).

Yes, my dad has penile cancer, they are operating on his pride and joy in the morning to take the growth off, but it has spread to his lymph nodes in his groin, hence them needing the CT scan to see if it has spread anywhere else in his body. One step at a time though. I have just phoned him and he had forgot that we were going even though we only went yesterday, so he is now getting washed and ready and I will pick him up in a taxi for 6.15 am to get there for 7 am.

He takes in what is said and understands at the time, but will then forget all about it afterwards. My LPA (Lasting Power of Attorney) is up and running and the hospital have it in place, I have signed his consent form for tomorrow and will stay with him until the docs are happy for me to leave. Then I will come home, go to bed for a while and get up and have a large brandy!

to all.

for you harrigran - thinking of you. x

For you both xx

thinking of you

Has your LPA been registered rubylady I'm assuming so if not please do it asap.
It would seem from your op that you are aware of the very real possible decline in someone with dementia after a GA. I really feel for you. How advanced is his dementia? I know what I think I would do but that's irrelevant, it's what you and the medics decide is best for your dad. think of you and remember to think of yourself in all this.

harrigran so sorry to hear that.((a virtual hug)) from me

for you too Rubylady.

Harrigran [hug]

Harrigran that news must have been devastating. from me and hugs also. We are here if needed.

rubylady A very difficult time for you also. As somebody has said, is your father aware of what is happening? Can he talk it through with you? I agree with others, quality of life is paramount. Please look after yourself

So sorry to read your news harrigran

Please try and stay strong. My thoughts are with you.

....and lots and lots of

What a very trying time for you, rubylady. I hope the surgery is successful. harrigran, I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I know you have a nursing background and wonder if having a certain amount of inside knowledge makes things better or worse. Your head must be in a spin. Just remember we are here for you.

Oh rubylady I can totally sympathise with the sad dilemma you are faced with. I wondered if possibly the doctors could give you a clearer indication of the outcome of treatment for the C (once they know obviously) and that may help you decide what is best for your dad. Is he able to talk this through himself or would it be you and the doctors making a decision on his behalf? A few years ago my late grandma underwent a pretty major operation for C. She was 90 years old at the time and we were all concerned that it was too much to put her through at such an advanced age. Fortunately her consultants carried out a full "risk assessment" taking into account her advanced age and her quality of life and between us we decided she should have the op. She lived another 9 wonderful years so the decision was the right one. On the other hand my mum also has advanced C. She also has unconnected kidney failure meaning she is on Dialysis 3 times a week. She is only 74 but there is no way she could undergo surgery.

I appreciate that your dad has dementia which needs to be taken into consideration, but I am sure his specialists will help you reach the best decision for him. I hope you get the help you need to make the right decision for your dad. Stay strong. So glad to hear your son has been lending a supportive arm to you. Its amazing how young people can step up to the mark when they need to.

Hugs from me as well.

Hugs for you ruby

your news.

Harrigran I am so sorry to hear news.

Harrigran and a GN {{hug}}
When you are ready to share, there are shoulders ready to lean or cry on.

My thoughts are with you rubylady, I was given the same dreaded diagnosis last night. My world has fallen apart

ruby I'm so sorry you are in this sad and difficult position. I've been there with both my parents and recently MIL. The advice hear is excellent be guided by the medics and nurses and know that we are all thinking of you.

Sending positive thoughts and virtual hugs to you ruby lady. Many of us have had similar experiences with our elderly parents, its a real tough one. I share your concerns about quality -v length of life. We faced similar issues with our mum and mil. As others have said, do try and look after yourself as well as everybody else. It's hard to put yourself first and most of us believe doing so is the height of selfishness but do try and set some time every day, aside to do something for you. It might only be an hour on gransnet or a read of a book/watch a soap but do something that helps you unwind x

Having just seen my husband's dementia worsen considerably after a stay in hospital for pneumonia, without even having surgery, I would go for quality of life over longevity every time. I hope you receive the level of support from other gransnetters that I have. Hugs and

I can only wish you good luck, just be there for him and cheer him up, ive been through cancer both myself and a relative so I know its not easy.
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to you. Such a lot that you are having to contend with. Have quality of life issues been discussed with the doctors? Dealing with cancer is hard for anyone, but will be hugely confusing for someone with dementia - I think you need to be prepared that he may be more muddled immediately after the surgery. You are treading a hard road, but I hope that there are people on Gransnet who can walk beside you. x