Resiliance after suffering stress

Thanks all, your replies and advice are much appreciated. I am sorry, though not surprised to hear others have had similar experiences. I am feeling better than I was, but all too aware of the fragility.

annsixty and Lona , big hugs for your current situation. My ex 'came out' as gay, leaving me with 4 children, 15 years ago. He had been a good husband and father, but suddenly went very strange and, I think, closed down emotionally so he didn't have to face what he had done. Over time we have built a civil relationship, but not without cost.
BUT - I think it is sometimes their own stress that triggers these strange actions.

xx

ann my dil has just upset little dgd in a similar selfish way! You already have so much to deal with
kitty too.
We just have to keep getting on with it for as long as we can!

Another resilient one here and suddenly I am not.
DD's estranged H flies off 3500 miles away on Friday leaving 2 devastated children and I know that just now I will be incapable of picking up the pieces as I have always done.Just a word in his defence ,up to this he has been a brilliant father, it is so out of character,but when another woman enters the picture.....

I'm sorry for those of you have horrid times for whatever reason. I was just going to pick up on Lona's point about worrying about falling apart.

I don't know if it's an age thing but I worry more about the toll something is taking than the thing itself. My Mum has been quite ill since new year and I feel very conscious that I could go under although I know that I am very resilient and have never really not coped with anything life has thrown at me (even the Idiot!) Does that make sense. No help to Imperfect at all. Sorry.

Hopefully, you will feel back to your old self soon.!

Imperfect I sympathise, although I think time is a great healer too. I've had several horrible years now, and although I'm not as fragile as I was, I feel as though my ability to cope with more stress has been damaged beyond repair.
I suppose age also has a lot to do with this. I worry that one of these days I will just fall apart.
I wish you well, and that you find your confidence again.

I think we all have our breaking points. Each life event leaves a little ( or big in the case of losing your daughter) scar and our defences are weakened. You have done fantastically to cope with so many losses and life events over the years and kept going at work. You also have the on going worry of your son. It really isn't surprising you are suffering from stress. Be kind to yourself and I'm sure you will once again be able to hold down a job you enjoy. Give yourself time. All the best Imperfect.

imperfect I'm sorry you have had such a lot on your plate haven't you? I have had members of staff who have gone through similar periods and I found what they felt was most helpful to them was having a good mentor - someone they could have a regular session with to talk through their worries. This person doesn't have to be a counsellor just a willing and supportive colleague who will act as a mirror and a sounding board. Perhaps you have a friend/colleague you turn to naturally. Of course if you feel this isn't enough perhaps a qualified counsellor would be helpful.

I hope you enjoy your new role and are able to build up your confidence.

yes Me, you know the story imperfect,trundled along for 2 years worked,loads more "stuff" happened ...and although I was unable to work did voluntary work with children and families,but was very "fragile",and even now 12 years later care has to be taken along with the antidepressants not to fall in the black hole again,we have lost several layers of ourself and have no protection from our biggest wound ever.I did after 10 years return to work aged 60 in a stressful environment working many hours and several incidents with management led me to walk out battered and bruised in confidence and emotionally,I did work voluntarily again,until a few months ago for Age uk information and advice,but stressful things where happening at home ,I wasnt coping ...now I have retired....not sure you ever return to your former self ,just be aware of human frailties that can return at any time at periods of stress,and I find ages after the event when you feel safe to relax.....I always hold everyone else up and postpone my wobble when they are okxxxx

Well mine is different as I absolutely identify why I am feeling like I do with DHs heart attack, but I also had periods of stress at work. The first was similar to you with feeling the way you are. I eventually went to the doctor who signed me off. He said one morning you will wake up and know that your candle is alight again and that is exactly what happened. Before that I had felt tired beyond belief and like an empty shell. It took 8 weeks of R&R but boy did it work!The second I did not recognize the symptoms at all and had a complete breakdown at work. That also took a couple of months R&R.
I have always prefered not to take any drugs so the Dr sent to s councillor the second time and that helped.

So really what I am trying to say is that how you are feeling is part of the human condition and that it takes time but recognizing your feelings is a good step to getting back to normality. You might like to see your GP because although I didn't take anything HE sort of allowed me to feel like I did, so I then somehow went with the flow and it helped.
Hope this isn't too garbled and helps a bit!