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Bowel movements (you have been warned!)

(230 Posts)
jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:28:04

I often wonder how things go for the Queen in that department.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:27:13

Chocolate is good. Actually, anything sweet.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:26:44

I think it's an ageing thing. (sorry!) Food doesn't go through so quickly and so the poo gets dry and hard.

(discuss anything me)

glassortwo Tue 26-Apr-16 20:26:12

Think you need weetabix for breakfast grin

phoenix Tue 26-Apr-16 20:23:55

Now, we all do it, even Her Maj & George Clooney (doesn't do anything for me, so feel free to substitute a name of your choice)

Well, I've been having a bit of a problem lately.blush.

Normal thing, feel the need to go, take oneself off to the appropriate location, remove or adjust the relevant clothing, and assume the position. Please note I have taken no reading matter or anything else to help pass the time,as usually I can be in and out pretty swiftly.

However recently the procedure described above has not been entirely successful.confused

It all starts OK,but then it all kinds of grinds to a halt. I suppose the best way to describe it is that things get sort of "stuck".

When this happens I have tried various techniques.
1) Wriggle. This involves wriggling (obviously) accompanied by a sort of side to side shuffle.
2) Putting the feet higher than the floor, can be achieved by using a handy pack of toilet rolls (preferably 9 rolls or more)
3) Grasping the ankles in each hand and pulling backwards (I can't do a diagram, probably just as well)
4)Eye popping straining, accompanied by various noises and/or swearing, depending on who might hear.

So, as someone who has previously been at almost Olympic level for speed and effiency, what on earth has gone wrong?