I'm not going to tell him.....

Sorry I did not read the updates

Grannyactivist If this were me I would tell someone close just to have a support network, but I would not say anything to your husband for the reasons you state.

Bless you.

I had two lumpectomies in my left breast years ago, so I know how scary a time this is. x

UPDATE no 2
As planned, my mother in law came to the hospital with me today and I had both an MRI and also, unexpectedly, an MRA (which is when they inject a dye). It takes 5 days to process apparently and then I can expect to hear from the consultant. My father in law has been let in on the news now and agrees that keeping quiet is the right thing to do under the circumstances.

We had a lovely time with our Norwegian friends, although it was sad to see them looking so frail and ill - now my Wonderful Man is on his cycling trip and we keep in touch every day so if he needs to get home quickly he can do. (We have a plan in place because our son in law is on a tour of duty at the moment.)

Glad you have someone to go with you. Wishing you all the best.

UPDATE
Well, I told my lovely mother in law today - and she was as wonderful as always. She was really supportive of my decision not to tell my husband and said that she would do exactly the same thing in the circumstances. I was actually quite stressed about telling her because I don't want her to spend the next ten days worrying, but she took it very well and is coming with me to the hospital when I have the MRI scan. She's not sharing the news with my father in law until after we've left tomorrow as she thinks he might inadvertently let the cat out of the bag.

Well ga you know your DH better than any of us lot so I reckon what you have decided to do will be right for the pair of you!

Good luck with the tests and fingers crossed it's not cancer and can easily be treated. Enjoy your trip to Norway in the meantime.

If I'm honest I expected more of you to say I should tell my husband.

I have had lots of medical problems and so tests don't faze me at all and I would usually go to the hospital on my own by choice. Sometimes my mother in law comes with me, but that's more for her sake than my own because she's a gem and likes to feel she's being supportive. I am not being brave, nor am I overly worried. I'm taking to heart the consultant's view that the lump in my throat is most likely to be benign, but if it is not then throat cancer, caught early, is treatable. The consultant said that they will know more when they see the MRI scan and may then do a biopsy. If I am found to have cancer I will tell my husband and he can fly home the same day - fortunately, due to other circumstances, we have already made a contingency plan for him to fly home immediately if the need arises. If, as is hoped, the lump is benign then we can share our adventure stories when he gets home.

When he has been reassured that I wasn't very worried I hope he will appreciate my reasons for not telling him sooner. He once had tests and didn't tell me until they came back all-clear so I'm fairly certain he'll understand.

You sound as if you are a strong person ga, someone who will not be easily scared until there is something to be scared about. You know that this will very likely turn out to be nothing to worry about, so why put your DH through the worry, spoiling his adventure and his special time saying goodbye to a lifelong friend? I'm sure that under any other circumstances you would have told him right away, but these are special circumstances, once-in-a-lifetime circumstances.
I do so understand why you feel you want to keep this to yourself for the time being. And, as you say, he can be on a flight home and be with you in a very short time if you find that you do after all need him.
I really wish you all the best, both of you, and hope the outcome is as you expect so that your DH can enjoy his goodbyes and his cycle home. And I hope he doesn't get too cross with you
Good luck

While I think you are doing what you are doing out of the best motives, your husband may feel let down by having this kept from him and being excluded from being there to support you. I too would cope better on my own, because his worry would start to affect me, but that is not the point. We are not meant to have secrets of this sort from each other and he might find it hurtful that you did not share and thus excluded him from caring at a critical time. How often do we think or say of a friend or family member "Oh if only I had known".
Just saying, - he is not a child to be protected, should you deprive him of an opportunity to be there for you?

I think I too would wait until he comes back - it will be a very sad time for him saying goodbye to his friend for the last time and he'll need the return journey adventure to relax (can you relax cycling all that way?!). I do hope you manage to enjoy your holiday too despite the circumstances. I also think you're very brave going through the endoscopy on your own - I would need to be sedated to even contemplate it let alone do it on my own! Good luck with the outcome - fingers crossed when you do have to tell him it will all be fine

I can't hide anything from DH, he can read me like a book. I guess that's what happens when you have been together 53 years.

ga You go away, have a good time and sort it out when you get back. You can do no more until then and telling your husband will only worry him too when he is going to say a final farewell to his lifelong friend. If it was just a break or holiday, then I would say tell him but this trip is important for him. Will he not guess something is wrong?

I wish you all the very best, and you are not on your own, you have all of us here to share your problems with, you know that.

I think you are right ga if, heaven forbid, it turns out to be serious you will have many occasions when you need his support. At the moment you feel you can cope, so let him enjoy his adventure and hopefully you'll have positive news for him when he gets back. Good luck

ga I think I would want to do what you have planned but I expect that my DH would work it out in spite of my best efforts!
I hope all works out well for you in every way and that you enjoy your holiday.

I can see both sides (its my curse and my blessing grannya)
I would tell my husband because I know he'd be so hurt if I didn't. We're all different and you know your husband, I don't. Whatever happens, you'll do whats right for you two.
Sending love and positive vibes xx

You are being courageous ga; however, I do wonder if your husband would like to come back with you rather than cycle home.
When I was very ill we decided not to tell DD as she was doing her finals and I don't think she was very happy about that. However, I would still make the same decision and wait for a diagnosis - no point in worrying someone if there is nothing to worry about.
I most certainly hope that there is nothing to worry about and wish you well

You're so courageous, grannyactivist, and very thoughtful of your husband's need to say goodbye to his friend properly. I really admire you for what you've planned, and I hope very much that your lump is as benign as it can possibly be.
Very best of luck, and best wishes for enjoyment of your Norway trip even with this worry on your mind.

Sorry but I disagree too. My DH kept something from me because I was very busy and concerned with illness of my brother. When I did find out I read him the riot act in that I would never be able to trust him again if he kept things secret. We are very close and share everything. I can only relax and be happy because I trust that if there is a problem anytime he will tell me. If I didn't trust he would tell me then I would worry constantly if he was keeping health secrets from me. My DH has unfortunately had many potentially serious health problems and we have been throug it all together. If it was me I would tell DH but you are the one who knows your relationship best and are the only one who can decide. All I would say is how would you feel if the situation was reversed? Would you want to know or not?

P.S I hope everything works out well for you

Good luck with this ga When my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer a while ago (all fine now thankfully) we were due to go on holiday abroad about two months after the diagnosis with my sister and brother-in-law who we are both very close to. DH didn't want them to know he had cancer until after the holiday as he said that, although they wouldn't mean to, they would treat him differently than usual. Also he didn't want to spoil their holiday by worrying them, as at that point we didn't know what the outcome was going to be. It was quite difficult to do as having this in the back of my mind was not easy. When we eventually told them, they said that we derserved Oscars for our acting - they never suspected a thing. It was what DH wanted so that's what we did.

I'm going against the grain. I would tell him. I don't know your husband, so have no idea how he would react. If you are as unconcerned as you say, then let him know, and he can decide if he would rather contunue with his plans to cycle home, or come home immediately. In effect, you're controlling his reaction. You've mentioned at other times your independence of one another, and this is a case in point.
If it was the reverse, would you like to know, or be kept in the dark until results were known?

Whatever the decision, wishing you all the very best.

ga I am with you here and wish you the very best outcome there can be. I did something similar a while back with a colon investigation. Our son was getting married, DH was at the initial appointment with me and was in agreement. Why spoil their wedding with worry? The outcome of the post wedding testing was good, nothing to have worried them about. Told them after, they all said they could understand and respect the decision.

ga my very best wishes for a good test result

I did not tell anyone in my family except DH, my worries were difficult to hide from him. I asked the consultant what his thoughts were on informing the family and he said " in my view it is never a good idea to not tell the family, you are going to need their support and they may resent being excluded "
The day he said that to me I told DC and my sisters the next day.
DH had a very rare skin cancer and he had it removed but I did not find out what type of cancer it was until he was discussing it with my family some weeks later, he obviously thought he was protecting me but to find out second hand that he had Lymphoma and not just a BCC

I've considered similar scenarios in the past and I would keep it to myself until I had results.
I hope those results are all good news.
Enjoy your holiday GA and I hope your DH has a safe journey home. He must be very fit.

Exactly what everyone else has said Ga. If you need us we are here. Lots of love and good vibes.