I'm not going to tell him.....

I think I would follow the same course as you grannyactivist. Sometimes a little 'fancy footwork' is necessary to be able to do some good for someone else. My good wishes for a quick resolution to this problem . Enjoy your holiday. How does one cycle home from Norway? Ignore that I'm being silly.

I'd do the same, grannyactivist. No point worrying DH unnecessarily - you are so brave to go it alone though!

(Must say you have wonderful medical service wherever you live, I had to wait weeks for an endoscopy and am still not much further on...)

I agree - wait until you know the results.
It's enough to have the worry for yourself, without having his worry too.
Once you know, one way or another , it's another matter.
Hope the results are as your doctor expects.

grannyactivist I also think that you are doing the right thing. You want your DH's holiday to be as stress free and enjoyable as possible. Good luck.

Aw - thank you all. I'm pretty sure the decision I've taken is the right one for us - and I think that in similar circumstances it's what my husband would do. I just don't see any point in worrying him unnecessarily - and I can honestly say that I'm not a great worrier when it comes to my own health, so I'll just put it to one side until I know there's actually something to worry about.

I must say that the last time I had an endoscopy it seemed a much worse procedure that today's. The camera was on the tiniest stalk so that I barely gagged when it went down my throat and even when he put it up my nose I hardly felt a thing - it just made my eyes water when he took it out.

Ana because my symptoms indicate it could be cancer I had an urgent 'two week wait' appointment, but even then they managed to fit me in after only one week. Not only that, but my appointment (with the actual consultant) was for noon and I was called in bang on time.

GA having met you, I KNOW you have thought it through, and I agree with you 100%!

Sending you love and every good wish!

Hope all your news is good news and that your OH has a good adventure.

Exactly what everyone else has said Ga. If you need us we are here. Lots of love and good vibes.

I've considered similar scenarios in the past and I would keep it to myself until I had results.
I hope those results are all good news.
Enjoy your holiday GA and I hope your DH has a safe journey home. He must be very fit.

I did not tell anyone in my family except DH, my worries were difficult to hide from him. I asked the consultant what his thoughts were on informing the family and he said " in my view it is never a good idea to not tell the family, you are going to need their support and they may resent being excluded "
The day he said that to me I told DC and my sisters the next day.
DH had a very rare skin cancer and he had it removed but I did not find out what type of cancer it was until he was discussing it with my family some weeks later, he obviously thought he was protecting me but to find out second hand that he had Lymphoma and not just a BCC

ga my very best wishes for a good test result

ga I am with you here and wish you the very best outcome there can be. I did something similar a while back with a colon investigation. Our son was getting married, DH was at the initial appointment with me and was in agreement. Why spoil their wedding with worry? The outcome of the post wedding testing was good, nothing to have worried them about. Told them after, they all said they could understand and respect the decision.

I'm going against the grain. I would tell him. I don't know your husband, so have no idea how he would react. If you are as unconcerned as you say, then let him know, and he can decide if he would rather contunue with his plans to cycle home, or come home immediately. In effect, you're controlling his reaction. You've mentioned at other times your independence of one another, and this is a case in point.
If it was the reverse, would you like to know, or be kept in the dark until results were known?

Whatever the decision, wishing you all the very best.

Good luck with this ga When my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer a while ago (all fine now thankfully) we were due to go on holiday abroad about two months after the diagnosis with my sister and brother-in-law who we are both very close to. DH didn't want them to know he had cancer until after the holiday as he said that, although they wouldn't mean to, they would treat him differently than usual. Also he didn't want to spoil their holiday by worrying them, as at that point we didn't know what the outcome was going to be. It was quite difficult to do as having this in the back of my mind was not easy. When we eventually told them, they said that we derserved Oscars for our acting - they never suspected a thing. It was what DH wanted so that's what we did.

Sorry but I disagree too. My DH kept something from me because I was very busy and concerned with illness of my brother. When I did find out I read him the riot act in that I would never be able to trust him again if he kept things secret. We are very close and share everything. I can only relax and be happy because I trust that if there is a problem anytime he will tell me. If I didn't trust he would tell me then I would worry constantly if he was keeping health secrets from me. My DH has unfortunately had many potentially serious health problems and we have been throug it all together. If it was me I would tell DH but you are the one who knows your relationship best and are the only one who can decide. All I would say is how would you feel if the situation was reversed? Would you want to know or not?

P.S I hope everything works out well for you

You're so courageous, grannyactivist, and very thoughtful of your husband's need to say goodbye to his friend properly. I really admire you for what you've planned, and I hope very much that your lump is as benign as it can possibly be.
Very best of luck, and best wishes for enjoyment of your Norway trip even with this worry on your mind.

You are being courageous ga; however, I do wonder if your husband would like to come back with you rather than cycle home.
When I was very ill we decided not to tell DD as she was doing her finals and I don't think she was very happy about that. However, I would still make the same decision and wait for a diagnosis - no point in worrying someone if there is nothing to worry about.
I most certainly hope that there is nothing to worry about and wish you well

I can see both sides (its my curse and my blessing grannya)
I would tell my husband because I know he'd be so hurt if I didn't. We're all different and you know your husband, I don't. Whatever happens, you'll do whats right for you two.
Sending love and positive vibes xx

ga I think I would want to do what you have planned but I expect that my DH would work it out in spite of my best efforts!
I hope all works out well for you in every way and that you enjoy your holiday.

I think you are right ga if, heaven forbid, it turns out to be serious you will have many occasions when you need his support. At the moment you feel you can cope, so let him enjoy his adventure and hopefully you'll have positive news for him when he gets back. Good luck

ga You go away, have a good time and sort it out when you get back. You can do no more until then and telling your husband will only worry him too when he is going to say a final farewell to his lifelong friend. If it was just a break or holiday, then I would say tell him but this trip is important for him. Will he not guess something is wrong?

I wish you all the very best, and you are not on your own, you have all of us here to share your problems with, you know that.

I can't hide anything from DH, he can read me like a book. I guess that's what happens when you have been together 53 years.

I think I too would wait until he comes back - it will be a very sad time for him saying goodbye to his friend for the last time and he'll need the return journey adventure to relax (can you relax cycling all that way?!). I do hope you manage to enjoy your holiday too despite the circumstances. I also think you're very brave going through the endoscopy on your own - I would need to be sedated to even contemplate it let alone do it on my own! Good luck with the outcome - fingers crossed when you do have to tell him it will all be fine

While I think you are doing what you are doing out of the best motives, your husband may feel let down by having this kept from him and being excluded from being there to support you. I too would cope better on my own, because his worry would start to affect me, but that is not the point. We are not meant to have secrets of this sort from each other and he might find it hurtful that you did not share and thus excluded him from caring at a critical time. How often do we think or say of a friend or family member "Oh if only I had known".
Just saying, - he is not a child to be protected, should you deprive him of an opportunity to be there for you?