psycho-sexual therapy

Thanks for the support. I was beginning to think perhaps I shouldn't have posted this, but don't regret it now.
Granny knot, I will look at the website you suggested.
Breeze, I'm fortunate enough not to have had to have chemo, and perhaps I had the chance to get over things better. I happen to have small breasts and friends tell me that's fortunate too. I suppose it is better when I have my clothes on, but not when they are off!
I had my ops not at a specialist hospital, and could never get hold of the breast care nurses. I will have the counselling and take it from there. I think I will post how I got on afterwards.

ps - forgot to add, I know hospitals vary, and I was very fortunate to have my treatment at a cancer specialist hospital, but if there is a very long waiting list, you could enquire from your breast care nurse whether your hospital has a psychiatry dept. that is designed for people who are dealing with cancer related issues. I was referred to that dept. as I wasn't coping with certain things that were going on at that time. I think you are entitled to 2 months of help, then they help you to find any ongoing help you need. Worth an ask if it's going to drag on for months.

My heart goes out to you anxious. In my opinion, once over the age of consent, having a great sex life is important whatever your age if it’s what you enjoy, or wish you could enjoy, and still desire. And it’s hardly surprising you’re having some difficulties with what you’ve been through. A combination of physical discomfort, plus having to deal with the mental anguish of that kind of surgery is hard to come to terms with. You didn’t mention if you had chemotherapy? Like you, I had bi lateral mastectomy then chemo. It can affect different people in different ways, which is why not all side effects are mentioned by nurses/literature and I found a lot of my bodily fluids dried up and took a year, or two, to return (even ear wax!). Nearly lost toe nails. So on. Did I feel attractive? Not much. Did I feel much desire. Nope. And are you likely to be tense? I should think so. Even if you didn’t have that treatment, surgery and other treatments are exhausting and not conducive to feeling ‘in the mood’. I really hope the therapy helps you to relax, remember just how beautiful you are, and in the meantime don’t forget there are other ways to enjoy closeness. Doesn’t have to be painful. If you get my meaning. I also hope you have a very loving understanding partner.

Hi anxiousgran there's quite a good description on what to expect on this website:

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/psychosexual.html

Good luck with your treatment

Wishing you the best of luck with your referral and hope you don't have to wait too long.

Of course you should be referred on the NHS.You are only sixty and your problems are very legitimate and hopefully will respond well to some help. Thank you for sharing and hope you find the therapy helpful.

just to say I 'm glad to have been able to post this. I'm not likely to share it with anyone else, so thanks for the responses. Also the doctor and nurse I saw didn't think there was anything strange about the referral, or me.

I am 57 and would dearly love to have some sort of physical relationship with my beloved Mr P, but unfortunately it is extremely unlikely .Every good wish to you, anxiousgran , I hope you have a good outcome.

anxiousgran you are indeed very brave for going for help and for sharing this with us. I also have nothing to offer but wish you all the very best.

Agreed ! Psycho sexual/plus the other stuff that goes with ageing or health problems in we older women has a taboo doesn't it and we should be more open.

anxiousgran I can't help you with information I'm afraid, but just wanted to say well done for sharing this. The more we talk about this sort of thing, the more likely it is that people won't suffer in silence, but will go along for help to their G.P.'s.

The NHS may be on its uppers. However, my marriage nearly ended several years ago over a sexual problem and because of that and other stresses, I spent the better part of 2 years as an in-patient in a psychiatric hospital. I think that in case history repeats itself, 6 one hour sessions might be more cost effective. One of the causes of the stress was working for the NHS for 34 years, by the way.
Is a sex life over at 60 , do you think, jinglebells?
Yes, I do think I'm lucky, and I'm grateful too.

It's probably not as sex-oriented as it sounds,more likely it covers all sorts of psychological problems related to those you're experiencing, anxiousgran. Hope it helps, anyway.

I think you've been lucky anxiousgran, to have such a positive response. Hope it helps.

And you are 60? I'm a bit surprised. I thought the health service was on its uppers.

Yes it is on the NHS, which is why I feel I should accept the offer. I'm going to talk to her about reconstruction as well as the breast surgeon was so dismissive.
I will let you know what it was like, but don't hold your breath, the waiting list is long.

Are you actually getting that on the NHS?

No. But you could come back and tell us what it was like after you have had it.