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Health

Getting older

(82 Posts)
Nibbie Fri 08-Jul-16 14:19:08

For as long as I can remember I have had a dread of getting old,I was a nurse for many years and looked after many elderly people and had to keep reminding myself that I was seeing the poorly elderly and for each one of them there were many enjoying life to the full.Last night my husband and I were watching ( on catch up ) Matron medicine and me,this episode was about care of the elderly in the community,loneliness and dementiaand how things have changed over the years but I went to bed feeling very depressed about the future.
Am I alone in fearing what the future holds? ?

Lewlew Sun 10-Jul-16 16:25:52

Yay for Annsixty! Fear of anything (taking risks, illness, old age, whatever) is our natural response to self-preservation and should be listened to to stay safe or fight or run. The trick is not to let that fear determine your state of mind.

Modern life is so much about predicting and controlling, and so if we are not seen to be able to do those things, then we are weak. Well, IMHO you just need to go with the flow.

I worry about the younger generation today. They are much more afraid of getting older than the baby-boomers as youth is everything, eg note the thousands of products to put in and on your body or do to it to keep it young.

As for me, "do not go gentle in that good-night"!

Tegan Sun 10-Jul-16 16:18:47

I'm still wanting to find a jar of Little Scarlet...

annsixty Sun 10-Jul-16 16:13:08

blush I did mean "little Scarlet" I haven't tried lettuce with my croissants yet. Although always a first time.

BlueBelle Sun 10-Jul-16 16:12:36

We re all different I can't bear the feeling of not being able to do so much not being so efficient I am still 'doing' I ve just painted the garden fence but I can feel my world shrinking and I don't like it I dread it getting any smaller. I still feel young in my head but get reminded of getting less of the person I was bit by bit ..... I have an elderly friend who has stubbornly decided to stay in her home in her bed with careers popping in three times a day for 15 min slots she has no family she has chosen to have no tv and she eats very poorly she lies there day and night without even a nice view she has been there for over a year .......... But that's a living death

GandTea Sun 10-Jul-16 15:48:49

Annsixty, you are trying to upset me -- A Tiptree Jam I have not tried ? or do you mean "Little scarlet" ?
If it is "Little Gem" I shall be there asap to try a jar.

Strawberries in full swing atm, whole village smell of strawberry jam.

harrysgran Sun 10-Jul-16 15:48:22

I don't think you are alone I worry that one day I will have to depend on others it's a scary thought I sometimes wonder how I'd cope without my independence it also frightens me when you see programs about residents being cruelly treat in care homes.

Crocky Sun 10-Jul-16 15:27:41

At 76 and DH 83 I can begin to sense our Children and Grandchildren beginning to treat us with more care and appreciation. Based I believe on their own generation of friends gradually losing their own parents and grandparents. It is strange but rather nice and I like this relaxing of responsibility to see that everyone is OK before yourself which has always been my role before.
Enjoy the G & T and putting your feet up!

annsixty Sat 09-Jul-16 11:20:57

I rather like Tiptree's Little Gem Preserve on my croissants so will have both. Enough of this now!!!

Christinefrance Sat 09-Jul-16 11:18:03

Sounds like a plan annodomini, goodbye diet

annodomini Sat 09-Jul-16 10:17:38

Have a bagel and then a croissant and plenty of smoked salmon. Then you don't have to choose. grin

annsixty Sat 09-Jul-16 09:10:00

"too old for all these choices"?

Christinefrance Sat 09-Jul-16 09:02:15

No annsixty it's definitely croissants here in France

Anya Sat 09-Jul-16 08:42:52

You want croissants with your smoked salmon, then go for it A60 wink

annsixty Sat 09-Jul-16 08:41:02

That should have been bagels of course. What am I thinking of!!

annsixty Sat 09-Jul-16 08:38:47

Bucks Fizz perhaps ,along with the croissants and smoked salmon?

Christinefrance Sat 09-Jul-16 08:32:14

I agree with thingmajig, inside I'm still 23, get energised and enthusiastic about things then find I'm slow and physically restricted. Count my blessings though we both can get around fairly easily, we have sufficient money for basic needs and have lots of interests to keep us motivated. I know it can change in a heartbeat so making the most of each day. The G & T certainly helps but maybe not for breakfast ! !

Mumsy Sat 09-Jul-16 08:20:43

Similar to Tiffaney, the oldest in our coffee morning group is in her 90s, she is deaf and partially sighted but what a zest for life she has! Sadly with old age some us do have health problems some deal with them better than others, some do nothing but moan, you get to know those ones and never ask how they are. Yes mental attitude is the key and never stop laughing its good for the soul.

cathymum Fri 08-Jul-16 20:56:30

Has anyone read the Jenny Joseph poem "Warning"? I'm not sure about taking it literally but it's given me a bit of inspiration for the future.

tiffaney Fri 08-Jul-16 18:02:06

Try not to dread the future Nibbie, after all, there's not a lot you can do about growing old. I will be hitting 70 in a few weeks but I'm still the youngest of our group of coffee morning friends, the oldest one having just turned 80. Healthwise some of them have had it worse than others but their mental attitude is admirable, keep your chin up and take life one day at a time. Some will be diamonds but some will be stones xxx

M0nica Fri 08-Jul-16 17:32:03

I am very fortunate, the generation above me (which was extensive) have lived, with only a few exceptions, into advance old age (late 80s/90s)and stayed physically and mentally healthy until the last few months of their lives. Two of my aunts, both nearly 90, are still alive, living independent lives, one still drives.

So when I look forward I am hopeful for what lies ahead. However I am not blind to what could happen. As circumstances happened I was the carer for all three family members who went into care, two with dementia, one with depression. I have thought and planned ahead and discussed it with our DC.

The one thing this familial longevity has made me do is look after myself. I quite consciously keep myself physically and mentally active, eat well and look after myself and do my best to ensure DH does also.

Thingmajig Fri 08-Jul-16 17:30:15

Being old is much better than the alternative!!!

It's an occasional worry that crosses my mind but mostly regarding the manner of my decrepity, as in am I going to be struck down by dreadful illness etc, not the old age itself.

Inside I'm still about 23 though! grin

PRINTMISS Fri 08-Jul-16 17:19:24

Yes, old age catches up with everyone, if you are lucky enough to live to an old age. The bones begin to ache, the memory is not as it used to be and the eyesight is a bit blurry, all that and the deafness! The trouble is the mind won't accept any of that, and so often people say as you do annsixty you just don't feel it, that is until you try to undo that wretched bleach bottle top!

Nibbie Fri 08-Jul-16 16:02:32

Thankyou for all your advice,most of the time I don't think about getting old just when I watch some programmes and they leave me a bit depressed ?

annsixty Fri 08-Jul-16 15:53:36

But do you feel old at 80 Tricia? I will be 79 on Tuesday and just don't feel it.

Teetime Fri 08-Jul-16 15:52:41

annsixty I am off to take your excellent advice re the G & T!!