Son come to live with me. Advice needed .

Sorry, I don't, no similar direct experience. I'm sure you'll get some good advice from other Gransnetters. Wishing you and your son well ?

quite a complex situation to be in I can only suggest the citizens advice centre.

I would contact your local Age UK (previously Age Concern). They will be able to give you advice on any benefits you and your son may be entitled to and will help you obtain them.

Although I don't have a brain injury, I too get muddled up. I find making lists helps. Is there any reason he can't continue to do the garden? If he's there all the time he can do little and often if doing it all at one go is too much. Is there any reason he can't help with the housework? I know it's hard when you're muddled and depressed because you just want to sit/lay but even doing the smallest thing can be a victory against the illness.

I'm not sure looking after someone affects your DLA but if you tell them of any changes they'll automatically start the transfer to PIP.

Gardening is supposed to be good for depression even being out in the garden I find lifts my mood, even if I am only sitting. Good luck I hope it works out.

My DH had multiple embolisms about 12 years ago. I don't know the information you were given but we were told that the multiple ones tend to be smaller and towards to edges of the lungs and no so life threatening as the larger more central ones. DH was given warfarin of seven months and then came off the tablets - for 95% of the people who have this it is then finished but OH had them return within six months and so needs warfarin for the rest of his life.
Maybe your first port of call should be Citizens' Davice to find out what your options might be. Surely two people living together both with medical issues should be helped whether it is in a monetary way to enable them to pay for the assistance they need or with assistance being provided. Obviously for your son to live with you and for you to support each other is the best solution for everyone and much cheaper than either of you needing to be hospitalised.
I hope your son recovers well - most people do and apart from needing monthly blood tests DH has a totally normal life doing everything he wants - it is just me who gets twitchy when he uses power tools!!!

Thanks for all the replies. Welshwife sorry to hear your husband had this too , my sons were many and large bloodclots in both lungs and I was told to be prepared for things to get worse in the beginning but he survived so we have a lot to be thankful for .
He doesn`t seem to be getting better and is very fatigued . There would be no way I would let him use the Lawnmower or hedge cutter yet , he drops things , walks into things and seems `unaware` in general . We are in the dark about how much the hypoxic brain injury will improve and how long it will take . It is very early days but not much progress so far . As I said he was discharged providing it was into my care and I just got a phone call from the hospital to say he could come home . At that point he was still unable to speak properly and sounded as if he had drunk a bottle of Vodka ! I will try the CAB or Age UK to see if they have any suggestions .

Have you any other children ff7ms? Perhaps it would be useful to discuss the situation with them. Has your son got a social worker? Wishing you well and peace of mind.x

It's a very difficult situation for you both.
I would hope you can both still have the benefits you already have, in fact maybe ask for more? eg a home help?
But I've no idea really, so as others have said go for advice from someone who knows.

Ff7ms. Up to 2 years ago when I retired from DWP, dealing with benefits, this was the situation. Caring for someone does not compromise DLA. In fact you could claim Carers Alliwance. If you are over pension age you would not get the allowance, but you would receive the Carers component of Pension Credit. Approx £35. p.w. I am assuming that your son is also on DLA. He could claim Carers Allowance for caring for you, providing there are things he could do for you.

I'm sure you know this us a complex area so please ask for a benefit check. Neither of you should be worse off. In fact you could both be better off

MUMOF Yes I do but all busy with their own lives , jobs , families etc . I looksd after my own Mum for several years and from experience I would say that there won`t be much forthcoming in that area! My son doesn`t have a social worker and I am not sure how I would go about getting any of that kind of support . He has a good GP so maybe that would be one avenue to investigate . Thanks for the well wishes and I am sure I will cope , I just have times when I feel overwhelmed .

You could ask the charity Headway if they can help out www.headway.org.uk/ a friend of mine worked for them and from what she told me they provided excellent help and advice for the brain injured and their families. Hope it helps xx

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I volunteer in a local carers centre linked to the national Carers Trust charity. There should be a centre near you. They support people in your situation with advice and signposting. if you pm me with your location I can see if there is a centre near you.