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What would you do?

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Jalima Sun 30-Oct-16 16:15:30

Maywalk You have to decide what is best for you; having that operation would be a big thing and would it help with your quality of life? If you have decided 'no' then you have made the right decision for you.
I am sure that you made the right decision for your husband too, in the knowledge that he would have been well cared for and you were not able to do that.

It is good that you have such a supportive family and I wish you joy with your new great-grandson smile

flowers

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shandi6570 Sun 30-Oct-16 16:08:53

I don't think I can add anything to what has already been written here, all good and sensible advice. So glad you have a close and caring family. More best wishes flowers

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Lona Sun 30-Oct-16 15:59:39

Maywalk What a horrible time you've had ? Just do what you feel you can cope with and look forward to that ggs cuddle!
Best wishes to you smile

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Luckygirl Sun 30-Oct-16 14:37:56

You have made the right decision for you - your priority is to be able to cuddle the new great-grandchild. That is a very reasonable priority.

If circumstances change in any way, you can change your decision.

The decision to seek professional care for your DH was also the right one - the nurses and carers would have been able to provide him with the best care. I do understand that you would like to have been able to do this yourself, but you wisely made the sacrifice of him living elsewhere in order to do your best for him. I hope I have the same courage if ever I find myself in that situation.

Your family clearly trust your judgement in the matter of the op.

Take care.

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mumofmadboys Sun 30-Oct-16 14:17:01

You can always change your mind in the future is pain or immobility get worse. It sounds as if you did the absolute best you could of for your hubby. Don't brood over it. He would of understood if he had his faculties.

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NonnaW Sun 30-Oct-16 09:58:54

You know what's right for you. Good that your family are standing back and letting you make your own decision. Good luck flowers

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Envious Sat 29-Oct-16 23:17:50

Of course you are the one well aware of what's best for you. Your right to trust your instincts. As a nurse I remember seeing a 80 year old very feeble man who had been given brain surgery and hadn't woken up.I remember thinking what were the doctors thinking! Of course a hip isn't brain surgery but I hope you go with your gut as they say. Wish you well and enjoy that baby! sunshine

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rosesarered Sat 29-Oct-16 22:50:33

Maywalk what a lot you have been through this year.I think you have already made the decision, and can understand that you don't want any more ops at your age.If you can manage with pain killing drugs then that is probably the best way to go.
Condolences for the loss of your DH, but congratulations on your future great grand child.?

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Anniebach Sat 29-Oct-16 22:25:30

I may be so wrong ,if so forgive me, it does sound as if you don't want the op, you are positive about the no op than yes op . I wish you well

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Maywalk Sat 29-Oct-16 22:13:23

I would appreciate an honest opinion from those who call in here of my decision.
This time last year I was in the throes of having a complicated operation of having a metal plate in my back attached to a metal pins in my leg after having a fall that broke my hip in three places. I was trying to look after my hubby who had Dementia when this happened. When having to spend 6 weeks in the hospital after the op my son who had retired the day I had the fall came to look after his Dad.
When I finally got home it was taking me all my time to get around as well as looking after hubby because I was his carer.
It got to be TOO much for me and my dear hubby was taken in to a nice nursing home. I feel dreadfully guilty because he NEVER wanted to leave me and he died after being there for around a month.
Since then I have had two more falls due to the very dicky hip and finished up in hospital both times. I already have a metal pin in my right hip from when I broke it 10 years ago.
After many Dexa and Rheumatology X-rays scans I have now been told that my Osteoporosis had got a lot better after taking Alendronic Acid medication for 6 years BUT it had left me with Cervical Spondylitis which was not helping me when trying to walk and the main fracture had not healed in my hip plus the metal pin had snapped in my leg.
I have been offered a new hip but it would be a complex op because of removing all the metal before proceeding.
I go back in a few weeks time to give them my decision which will be NO because if I can keep the pain under control as I am now I cant see the point in me going through all that at the age of 86 as I am now or 87 if they cant do it right away.
In my opinion that replacement hip would be better put in a younger person who has more years to enjoy it.
Into the bargain I started with Epilepsy when I was 80 and seizures can happen anywhere or time. I also had a pacemaker put in which should have been a simple thing to have done but it went wrong for me and I had to stop in hospital then for three weeks.
The BEST thing that has happened this year is that I will become a Great Grandma for the first time in December and at least I will be able to nurse my Great Grandson even if I cant take him for a walk.
The doctor has upped my painkilling tablets and she tells me I have not grieved for my hubby properly with all the pain and upset since he died and she would like me to have counselling if I agreed.
I have a super family who do what they can for me because I dont want a carer unless I am too far gone to wash and dress myself although it does take me ages. My family has left the decision to me about the op because as they said with having my faculties they know how much I can do.

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