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Daughter has breast cancer

(69 Posts)
silverlining48 Sun 05-Feb-17 12:20:10

Struggling since my 40 year old daughter was diagnosed with bc last week. She doesnt live im the uk and i havnt seen her as my husband has important hospital appointments this week. We hope to go after that.
Her tests show it doesnt appear to be anywhere else though she needs another small operation to remove a bit more of the tumour in the next few days. The biopsy results are due at the end of next week. Her sister is with her at present a d her husband has been given time iff work.
We got the news when we got back from a special holiday 5 days ago. It was a terrible shock, i cant sleep, am worried sick but having to keep a positive outlook especially when we speak on the ipad. She is a star, always upbeat and cheerful but underneath she must be as worried as i am. The treatment she has had has been good i think, certainly very quick, no waiting for tests etc and immediate results given by the doctor straight after. I have a quiet husband who doesnt say much and no close family. Its hard.

MawBroon Thu 30-Mar-17 21:16:37

harrigran flowers you have been through so much too. Positive vibes to DHs and DDs and all family members for whom we worry.

lucycakeface Thu 30-Mar-17 21:11:16

Thank you for your very kind words silverlining. I am so sorry that your Hubby is ill too. How dreadful for you. But please try and stay positive for both of them. I always remember when a work colleague had Cancer about 16 years back. His wife told me that everybody felt so bad for him but didn't realise how she was suffering. Please keep us updated and by the way my work colleague is a survivor too! Never give up hope. xx

Sar53 Thu 23-Mar-17 18:52:07

Silverlining48 it was lovely to meet you last week. I hope things go well for your daughter and husband. Lots of positive thoughts coming your way flowers xx

harrigran Thu 23-Mar-17 08:30:32

silverlining you must be so worried. DH has just been given the same diagnosis and I know how gut wrenching it is flowers

Esspee Thu 23-Mar-17 07:38:25

Great that they have discovered that she has it so can now start treatment. How much more awful would it be if she did not know and the disease was spreading unchecked. I try to maintain that attitude because today, by catching cancer early, so many people beat the terrible disease. In the past it was only a matter of time before the cancer took it's toll. Now the prognosis with an early diagnosis is good.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter, it is not going to be easy but the eventual outlook is hopeful. flowers

grannyqueenie Thu 23-Mar-17 07:22:57

What a lot you're having to cope with all at the same time. I can understand that it's hard to keep positive when so much in your life feels uncertain just now. It sounds like your daughter's doctors are trying to avoid any recurrence in her cancer and you can only take her lead in adopting her positive outlook. Hope things go well for your husband too, how is he coping with all that's going on? Thinking of you as you face these new challenges

silverlining48 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:09:06

Hello again. Thank you all for your support. Its been a difficult and worrying time, and we are back to germany next week to visit. Chemo has started now and our daughter will need a 4 th operation to try to clear a healthy margin of tissue. We werent expecting it, one or perhaps two is usual, but we are still trying to keep positive. She hs had a few other problems with things rekated, ut is being very brave and we must be brave for and with her. Not always easy.

Within a couple of weeks of hearing the news about our daughter my husband has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and skin cancer.

Its been really hard.

Lucycakeface, so pleased things worked for you.

lena80 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:36:24

wish you and your daughter all the best

lucycakeface Tue 14-Mar-17 23:05:48

Hi Silverlining, I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter and understand your worry. I was diagnosed with BC last year and had an operation to remove the lump, followed by four weeks of radiotherapy. I was very positive all the way through it as I have so many friends who have also had BC and survived. I told my Mum and my Hubby not to worry about it as it was very treatable and I remained very positive all through the treatment. I am sure that your Daughter is feeling the same way. My Nurse told me that being positive was a very good thing. I have been told that the lump was very small and low risk, it has gone and there is no reason why I should not carry on leading a healthy life. Please be positive and cheerful with her, I am certain that she will get the best treatment available and she will be just fine.

Andrewv123 Mon 06-Mar-17 06:04:22

I wish your daughter will be fine soon.

Grannyknot Sat 25-Feb-17 07:45:49

silver a virtual army of us are travelling with you flowers

grannyqueenie Sat 25-Feb-17 07:42:37

Safe travels, you've had a worrying few weeks and will be glad to see for yourself how your daughter is. I hope that will reassure you about the treatment that she's receiving. Be strong for your daughter but be kind to yourself too. Thinking of you flowers

clementine Fri 24-Feb-17 22:35:01

My dear silver lining, I cant add anything to the excellent advice you've already had from the other ladies here. You will probably have arrived by now in Berlin, and with your daughter. I think things are always worse in our heads than in reality and actually seeing your daughter and being able to hug her ( gently) will help you both immensely . Sending a gentle hug to you too. God Bless you . You are coping amazingly well and have my utmost admiration and respect.

grannypiper Thu 23-Feb-17 19:24:06

Silver what awful news, i am sure you will feel much better when you can give your DD a hug, look after yourselfbrew cupcake

Lona Thu 23-Feb-17 19:14:59

silver You will cope because you must, and all our good wishes and positive thoughts will go with you.
flowers ?

Luckygirl Thu 23-Feb-17 18:35:58

Have a safe journey - I am sure you will feel better when you are with her. Let us know how it goes.

JessM Thu 23-Feb-17 18:16:08

Silverlining I know you are going to be strong and positive for your daughter. flowers
They may be "sampling" some lymph nodes, to just check them for any cancer cells. If that's what it is, it's not major - a few armpit stitches.
Your daughter is young and strong which is a big help. Always amazes me the amount of cancer treatment that some really old people are given.
Hope journey goes well.

Rinouchka Thu 23-Feb-17 18:01:36

silverlining48 there is no "usual". Each case is individual.

You will be able to cope and support your daughter through this. She is in good hands in the German medical system and they will move fast to take whatever action is necessary. So glad that you will be with her soon.

MawBroon Thu 23-Feb-17 18:00:33

Thinking of you silverlining. I am sure the fact that she will have had 3 procedures in a short space of time is not necessarily sinister. Better to need them and HAVE them than not. Try to think of the surgery, not as the problem, but as a solution.
Good luck to her and to you flowers

silverlining48 Thu 23-Feb-17 17:47:41

My daughter is having to go back into hospital for a third operation next wednesday. her chemtherapy which booked to begin for only a few days later. She is so brave and trying to be positive, but 3 operations? Is that usual?
We fly out on Thursday and will go straight to the hospital. Its so hard to cope with
But thats what i must do.

gillybob Tue 21-Feb-17 18:45:51

Just catching up with your thread sliverlining48.

So sorry to hear about your DD's recent diagnosis and wish her a very speedy recovery. I am sure you will feel a tiny little bit better when you have been able to see her and give her a cuddle.

Your comments about "things being normal" really struck me and made me wonder. What's wrong with things being normal? Boring even? I bet you would give anything to have nothing to think/worry about at the moment and must wonder when things will begin to be "normal" again. Do try hard to remember that bad things happen to people all the time and they do eventually pass, although I know it's hard to think ahead at worrying times such as these. Sending you and your DD lots and lots of sunshine

MawBroon Tue 21-Feb-17 18:26:59

Wouldn't we all just step up to volunteer to take a daughter's place? Keep strong, silverining sometimes the strain on the nearest and dearest seems as trying as the illness itself
I am sure she will be buoyed up by having her loving family with her and from what previous posters have said, she will be in the best of hands.
Not forgetting your DH of course - good luck and warmest wishes to him too.
What a burden you have to bear at the moment flowers

Judthepud2 Tue 21-Feb-17 18:23:42

Good luck to your daughter. Your support will be much needed in the next while. I know you will be strong for her but remember to have your own support system in place. It is so difficult to see your children suffering. flowers

silverlining48 Tue 21-Feb-17 18:18:48

Thanks a lot luckygirl, i appreciate your supposrt and will do my best go keep it all together and give my girl the support she needs and deserves.

Luckygirl Tue 21-Feb-17 18:09:47

I am so glad that you have your tickets and are ready to fly out and grab a really good hug with your DD. I am sure that you cannot wait.

I do know what you mean about wanting to do it for her - we all feel like that but the next best thing is to be her rock, which I know you will be. flowers