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Daughter has breast cancer

(68 Posts)
silverlining48 Sun 05-Feb-17 12:20:10

Struggling since my 40 year old daughter was diagnosed with bc last week. She doesnt live im the uk and i havnt seen her as my husband has important hospital appointments this week. We hope to go after that.
Her tests show it doesnt appear to be anywhere else though she needs another small operation to remove a bit more of the tumour in the next few days. The biopsy results are due at the end of next week. Her sister is with her at present a d her husband has been given time iff work.
We got the news when we got back from a special holiday 5 days ago. It was a terrible shock, i cant sleep, am worried sick but having to keep a positive outlook especially when we speak on the ipad. She is a star, always upbeat and cheerful but underneath she must be as worried as i am. The treatment she has had has been good i think, certainly very quick, no waiting for tests etc and immediate results given by the doctor straight after. I have a quiet husband who doesnt say much and no close family. Its hard.

Teetime Sun 05-Feb-17 12:24:31

silverlining I am so sorry you must be terribly distressed. It does sound as though she has been picked up quickly and put on the right course of treatment. I know the people in this forum will give you all the support and help they can so keep talking on here. My best wishes and good thoughts to you and your family .

Luckygirl Sun 05-Feb-17 12:26:39

I am sorry to hear this - you must be very worried - I know I would be. But it does sound as though her treatment is good and speedy - just what is needed. I hope you will be able to get to see her soon and have a good hug. Men often cope with this sort of thing in a different way to us - and I would guess that your OH's lack of comment does not indicate lack of caring.

Do let us know how things go. flowers We are always here.

rafichagran Sun 05-Feb-17 12:29:33

Very sorry to hear this. I send you all good wishes.

silverlining48 Sun 05-Feb-17 12:30:14

Thankyou teetime and lucky.

fiorentina51 Sun 05-Feb-17 13:03:52

I can understand your worries. Keeping everything crossed for a speedy recovery.
Feel free to come and chat on here anytime. ?

whitewave Sun 05-Feb-17 13:16:10

silver this will be the worst of times for your daughter and your family, but cling on to the fact that there are a lot of people on this forum who are breast cancer survivors including myself.

I can remember the early days - twelve years ago - and the sheer panic I was in and the terror. But this initial rawness will pass and you will deal with it.

downtoearth Sun 05-Feb-17 13:18:26

silverlining a huge worry for you and your family [[[[hugs]]]]] for you and your family
flowers

Rinouchka Sun 05-Feb-17 13:30:00

Silverlining, my heart goes out to you.
Of course you are worried. However, from what you say, it does seem that she is receiving excellent care and that the cancer has been caught early. Be with her soon and surround her with love. She sounds like a positive person and perhaps she has inherited this from you.

Hope all goes well. Do keep us posted. flowers

silverlining48 Sun 05-Feb-17 13:42:19

I hope her treatment is good, she is in germany a nd can speak the language fairly well but complicated medical terminology isnt easy. I dont know how this works in the uk so will see my gp to discuss as soon as i can get an appointment at the surgery. Can anyone give me infomation about what tests are done, when and why? I could look online but am nervous, not strong enough for worst cAse scenario.

Lona Sun 05-Feb-17 13:46:54

silver I'm sorry to hear about your dd, and of course you must be sick with worry. However, I think cancer treatments are pretty good these days, so her recovery should be well looked after.
Best wishes to you all flowers

Anya Sun 05-Feb-17 13:51:07

So sorry to hear this silver. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed everything goes smoothly as it sounds like this has been caught early enough'sunshine

Do let us know

Christinefrance Sun 05-Feb-17 13:54:16

Silver lining, I understand your worries but treatments are so so effective now I'm sure your daughter will recover well. Most Consultants in France have some English so I'm sure it will be the same in Germany. I would keep away from Mr Google , too much information can be as bad as too little. I am not up to date with current treatments so sorry I can't help. Do talk to your Dr or a MacMillan nurse they will help.
Good wishes to your daughter for a speedy recovery. flowers

Rinouchka Sun 05-Feb-17 13:54:30

Silverlining, do be assured that your daughter will receive state of the art medical care in Germany from what we have been told by friends who live there. Most German doctors speak excellent English.

I am not sure that it is wise for you to discuss this with your GP here, unless the GP is a friend. Getting medical opinions without having the full case history and the patient there is not a good idea.

Neverthless, good luck!

whitewave Sun 05-Feb-17 14:01:57

Well in my case and my best friends and 2 more friends case.

Suspected bc - sent for mammogram - seemed to be an issue- biopsy - bc confirmed.

Surgery - 3 of had lumps remove one had a radical mastectomy and reconstruction as well as under arm glands removed.

Bc lump sent for inspection and it would seem from those results the next lot of treatment is decided. So it could be drugs and nothing else, or radiotherapy and drugs and nothing else or radiotherapy, chemotherapy and drugs. This is with the knowledge that each year brings better and different treatment and all this happened at least 12 years ago. All of us is still here.

Keep your eye on this time next year, with luck, good medical care which she would get in Germany and a fair wind you'll be looking back on this time with a happy heart to know that it is all behind you. Remember the outcome is better in Europe than here.

kittylester Sun 05-Feb-17 14:09:13

I'm sorry to hear this and understand how worries you will be.

Two of my friends have recently had lumpectomies and some radiotherapy and all appears to be fine. We alk have memories, don't we, from years ago when cancer was a really scary diagnosis - things have changed for the better though! flowers

silverlining48 Sun 05-Feb-17 14:27:11

Thank you whitewave for the helpful information and thanks to all for support. Its not even a week since we got the news, but it seems a lifetime ago. I take courage from all the new developments in the treatment but but....its very hard. How quickly life can change.

nanaK54 Sun 05-Feb-17 15:20:10

Just adding my good wishes for you all

cornergran Sun 05-Feb-17 16:07:48

Wishing you all well, flowers.

Greyduster Sun 05-Feb-17 16:11:15

silverlining I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I have three friends who have all recovered from breast cancer - the treatment is so much better these days and I am sure it will be good in Germany. It will be difficult for you to be positive at the moment because it is a shock - if it were my daughter I would be the same, but she will be in good very hands and I will pray for the best of outcomes for her flowers.

Linsco56 Sun 05-Feb-17 16:13:57

I can't begin to imagine how worrying this must be for everyone. I hope your daughter gets the best of treatment together with practical and emotional support. Wishing your DD a speedy recovery. flowers

Penstemmon Sun 05-Feb-17 16:39:19

I know how I would feel if it was one of my DDs and am sending virtual support and positive thoughts to you. flowers Sounds as if treatment is being well managed so far. Wishing her a full and good recovery.

whitewave Sun 05-Feb-17 16:45:18

siver that is how you learn to live for the day and treat each of them as precious.

Anannymous Sun 05-Feb-17 17:11:46

Hello I have never posted here before but just wanted to suggest that you contact Breast Cancer Care. They are there specifically to support people diagnosed with Breast Cancer and their families and friends and they have lots of information too. I will add the number of their help line (not sure if that's allowed) but do ring them. I was diagnosed 13 years ago and don't know how I would have got through it without their support. Their number is 0808 800 6000. Best wishes to you and your family at this worrying time and wishing your daughter a speedy recovery.

pensionpat Sun 05-Feb-17 17:11:46

We are all different but my own experience was having a negative mammogram. I was told over and over what the treatment would be i. e. Biopsy, surgery, radiation therapy. Of course I was in shock, so the repetition was helpful. I was given leaflets with more info, and a recommended forum for other support. The information scared me, as did the kind of conversations on the forum. I made some rules for myself. Only think about my own cancer. Only think about the next thing. Put my faith in the medical profession.

I had some strange experiences e.g. Radiation injection, 3 tattoos, to pinpoint the radiation, my surgery happened I came home on the same day with a handbag constructed out of a J cloth by the nurses to hold the container that the wound drained into. I had a bit of pain on Day 1 and got out of bed on day 2. I had a few tense days while waiting to see if cancer had reached the lymph glands. Good news. I recovered very quickly but was apprehensive about radiation therapy. 15 days of it. It was explained to me thoroughly and didn't take long. I experienced no skin problems and no fatigue.

The only pain I experienced throughout was the tattoo! I actually forget that I have had bc. To quote my sister "anyone would think you had a cold"

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I want women to know that we all fear the worst, but many of us will be lucky. Thank goodness for the mammogram programme.

I wish your daughter well. It must be so difficult for the mother. I was glad that my mother died before my bc.