Help! Need some practical advice re Social Care

Anya no words of wisdom from me I'm afraid but tons of good wishes that you have safe journeys and are able to get the necessary help for Betty. Please let us know how you get on and tell Betty we all wish her the best of comfort and care x

Good luck with all this. Hopefully you can get appointments booked in ready for your visit. The poor quality of these care packages is so depressing - for the clients and also for the carers who mostly want to do a good job but they are given very short time slots and they have to travel a lot. The whole situation is most unsatisfactory.

I have no advice to offer apart from what other posters have suggested except to say that if she or her husband were in the Forces at any time (could be likely as she is 93) then SSAFA could perhaps help, they could act more quickly than the RBL which has become very slow in its responses lately. SSAFA may have a local representative who could help go through the options with her and help with the process as she has no GP and Social Services seem to be rather inept.

www.ssafa.org.uk/help-you

Best of luck Anya and she is lucky to have a friend who cares. I presume her brother is also very elderly and cannot help.

Wishing you very good luck Anya. You're a true friend for 'Betty'. Thank goodness she's got you!

Silverlining she was assessed by SWs!

Sorry not been back, but much phone calls and to-ing and fro-ing. I rang my friend, let's call her Betty, and eventually managed to get through to her at 9,30am. Her 'carers' hasn't arrived. She had managed to struggle out of bed and into a chair and was totally enhausted. She was wet through and couldn't change herself.

I'm made numerous phone calls and talked to Betty about what she wants. Luckily she's more mad than depressed today and is going to 'have words' with the carers when they arrive. This is more like the woman I knew.

I managed to get more information out of her today. She was complicit in the agreement to go home. She was obviously fed up with the various institutions she had experienced over the last 5 months. However she's had a sharp reality check and now realises it's not going to be easy or indeed doable, living in her own, even with this 'care' package.

Incidentally Teetime the GP practice in her village had closed and no arrangement has been made to transfer patients to lists in neighbouring towns or village. The first people knew was a notice on the surgery door saying the practice had closed.

I've arranged to drive up on Tuesday evening, but need to be back home for Thursdsy morning. I've meetings set up with various people but mainly so I can see the situation first hand and have a long talk to Betty.

Many thanks for all your help and support.

My understanding is that its always better to get a social service assessment of need for residential care. If you take decision yourself theres a chance they can refuse to assist when/ if money runs out.
Phone social services ask to speak to adult care duty officer in the area tomorrow morning and ask them to visit and assess. You could also ring the gp too.
Though if she was only discharged on thursday it is Very early days and she was obviously distressed. Its understandable.
You are a good friend and i sm sure she appreciates what you are doing to help.

Are you able to go and see her, tackle local SSD and take her to see some homes? There does come a point when residential care can be a lifesaver and a huge relief to someone; but the choosing is what matters. Can she tell you the name of the SW who set up the care package? You need to contact that person if possible and talk about this lady's current state. She must not be left like this poor woman.

The money is almost irrelevant at this stage - whatever her circumstances she is a vulnerable adult and more suitable care needs to be put in place. The money stuff will get sorted in time - just now she needs a safe place to be.

How lucky that she has you around to advocate on her behalf - if there were no-one she would just be left to soldier on - not an acceptable way to end your life.

The carers should be reporting back her condition.

I cant really add anymore to what others have said but its just these situations that result in people being 'processed' through A & E units which is the last thing that should happen and I am very much afraid that if you ring for a GP at the weekend this is what will happen. I would think about asking her if she would like to add some self financed care into her package - perhaps a few hours from an agency nurse/carer. I hope you get some answers tomorrow.

The poor thing needs an advocate to make things actually happen. Theoretical knowledge that residential care would be possible is one thing, all the planning and organising is another. Good luck tomorrow with your phoning etc. Don't be fobbed off but somehow I don't think you will! You are a good friend.

I only meant financially

Adult Social Services have a duty of care regardless of how much money she has particularly as she is 'vulnerable*.

Can you manage to go and stay for a few days to look at homes for/with her?

She's def vulnerable adult, if she has assets which if she has a house she will have and ss won't touch her until her money below the limit (mid k20). Does she have family and sounds like she has full capacity. There are some excellent homes about and she will have full care and company, was she or her husband in the services? Specialist service retirement homes are usually excellent and full of likeminded people.

If she can afford to pay for her care she can go into full time care.The issue is who will help her decide which home she wants to go into.

If she is alone and immobile she will not be able to travel round looking for the one she likes.

Maybe she could pay for a private carer on top of the package of care she is already getting. There are many women who do this work privately, housework, shopping personnel care etc, as long as they are checked out for safety reasons that may be the solution.

She then stays in her own home where her friends can visit her.

If she can afford to self fund then she can put herself into a home and deal with the consequences as far as SS are concerned.

She would maybe be eligible for some help but if she is desperately unhappy then she can make the decision herself. Finding the right home might be difficult at a distance.

Also, AgeUk have loads of good info on their website and are super on the phone too.

Can't help with knowledge, anya but understand from a friend's experience last year when she broke her neck that the assumption is that the person would prefer to be at home, I suspect it is also easier/quicker to arrange homecare than residential. I wonder if your friend would be classed as a vulnerable adult? If she is left sitting in her urine and is expressing suicidal thinking the care is bordering on neglect and worth reporting to the emergency team. Could Age UK be asked to visit her? If she is prepared to self fund via her home it should surely be possible? I really hope someone with experience and knowledge will be along soon. It must be really hard for you but I am thankful your friend has you to think about her needs.

She owns her own house and has some savings. She is paying for this care package.

The emergency team should be there 24/7 - they are here.

The first thing to know is if she can afford to pay for her own residential care. If she can, then it's up to her.

If she can't, then I think all you can do is badger. There will be an emergency care team you could annoy.

Someone who actually knows will be along soon, Anya, but it must be distressing for you to be so far away and I didn't want to read and run.

Good luck - you are a kind friend.