Woeful mental health care ...

Mental health services are overwhelmed and of course cannot be taken in isolation. Someone mentioned increased anxiety and depressive illness and this can be linked to increased income inequality and withdrawal of other provision in the community: people under financial pressure are more likely to suffer mental health issues, poor housing (lack of investment in proper social housing) leads to depression, benefit cuts and caps lead to stress and anxiety, closing of things like sure start children's centre leads to isolation and depression, cuts to council funding from central government means cuts on a local level to social services and more stress and depression the list goes on! All of these issues are linked to a wider problem of cuts and savage austerity!!

There have been times in the past where people suffered the same but they lived in communities where they talked to each other and supported each other. Babies were not put in nurseries, people were not isolated.

Rang DS1's dr yesterday to explain that he is out of area with me for some respite care and to ask for advice on who to contact if he has an emergency whilst here. The receptionist was clearly stressed herself, very abrupt and jumped in several times before I had finished a sentence, assuming I was ringing to ask to speak to the doctor directly - not so - , assuming i wanted an emergency appointment - not so -. I remained polite, but felt exasperated and came away thinking that if my son had rang, he would have quickly given up because of her manner. I have a friend who works as a doctor's receptionist and she has opened my eyes to how stressful the job can be, so I quickly realised that it was stress behind the abruptness, but still felt it was poor service.

Better news - son is already up today and coming with me to meet up with DS2. Hoping we will get some good sea air. DS2 is great company for his brother too.

Have a good day with your sons imperfect, its a lovely sunny one.

Thank you silverlining. We had a lovely walk and then a brunchy lunch back here and my son's shared watching a dvd. First time l have heard DS1 laugh all week so good therapy methinks ???

Good therapy indeed, glad all went well.

I am so sorry for all those trying their very best to support and comfort family and friends with MH issues. If, as Jaycee5 says, MH charities are sometimes part of the problem, and MPs are uncaring what's to be done? What can be done to build on this GN body of informed opinion and experience to make changes? It all seems so despairing and energy sapping.

Imperfect my husband's twin foster brothers developed schizophrenia almost thirty years ago, when they were in their late teens. My wonderful father-in-law was so dismayed at the paucity of services that he left his job and took up a second career as an advocate for people who have a mental illness - and most importantly, for their carers. I honestly believe that, bad as the situation was then for people suffering from a mental illness, it is considerably worse now. I have just spent four years supporting another, very close, relative through suicidal depression and only my previous experience of mental health services and the financial capacity to pay for some resources has equipped me to ensure he got the help he needed in a timely manner.
To carers and those who struggle with mental ill-health.

Many thanks for the words of sympathy and empathy.

I feel it is only because we can advocate for my son that he is able to navigate the failures of the system and sometimes get well despite them to date.

I did wonder if we should have a mental health forum on GN so that people can give and receive support here. What do others think? This thread has certainly opened my eyes to how many of us are in a supporting role. I envisage information exchange, a place to let off steam and know that support will come from others going through similar.

Of course, my DS1's poor health impacts on my well-being - NOT that he is aware. I think this underlying stress has caused me, in part to seek a career change from what has been a very stressful working life over the past decade in particular. I figure that if I do something less demanding there will be something of me left over to be more supportive too. I am very glad I am not at work at the moment and able to offer him care as he does need looking after physically as well as mentally at present, but I should be starting work of some sort in October - need to pay my own bills (!) before any meds review and any need for him to adjust to new meds begins. Still, he has support.

I feel so very sorry for people who have no-one at all to help them. This is where church / community centres have helped out so much in the past - and very kind people who give so tirelessly to support.

Sometimes, I just feel too worn out to protest, but I can see obvious areas where policy changes could make a difference to front line care.

"I did wonder if we should have a mental health forum on GN so that people can give and receive support here. "
Good idea, Imperfect.
It's a subject very close to my heart as well.

I think a GN forum for MH support and advice would be a start. as well as offering immediate access to others in similar straits, I hope in time it might gather support and momentum to enable lobbying Parliament on behalf of those affected. Great idea!

Yes Blinko, that was in my mind too, I will email GN in case they haven't been ear / eye-wigging .

My niece suffers dreadfully but soldiers on with 3 children. She wasn't diagnosed until after the birth of her 3rd child. My sister and her husband are brilliant and we all try to help but feel inadequate at times. Just want to support her and her husband and family. More Resources are desperately needed I agree.

Update: GNHQ say they recognise there are a lot of mental health needs and will discuss providing a new forum at their next meeting.

Good. I hope they decide to do it.

Come on, GN, let's get things started.

If GNHQ decides against, I really will wonder whose side they're on....

So, here's the on-going problem. Son has now waited 10 weeks + for 'urgent' care. Staying with me for respite as he is not exercising self care (you get to use the jargon after a while). Of course, I am not a trained psychologist, but tried to support him to face and share what is stressing him at the moment yesterday as common sense tells me he needs to look at and break the cycle of what is stressing him and realise with support he can get through it. Tried to have a very sensitive and affirming talk. Tipped him into being very aggitated and in need of calming meds again. Took his 'last' diazepam last night and now waiting on call back from local emergency services to see him and prescribe more - just as a holding thing you understand.

He was at risk of harming himself yesterday, broke furniture and exposed nails and I was so worried he would put his wrists on them ... Managed to soothe him and get him to take meds ...and here we are ...

Each 'emergency', - A&E last week, out of hours support today, SHOULD bump him up the 'urgent list. Told today emergency referral takes about two weeks - we are halfway through waiting simply for an appointment to tweak meds and organise therapy ..then further waiting for therapy to start no doubt.

I am sharing this journey to highlight the poverty of care. Here is a wonderful young man, who 10 weeks ago was suffering significant job stress and whose manager was entirely unsympathetic .. who decided, rightly I feel on occupational health advice to give up the probationary job he had started as it was making him unwell and there was no alternative role he could do. He wasn't well, but he was managing, but recognised he needed some MH support. He has been seeking counselling support since then. WRONGLY referred fro CBT - he doesn't qualify because he has a personality disorder - why didn't dr know that?! So that meant a 5 week delay right off. Then Dr says, we don't have the money or resources to provide the 1:1 care you need -I will be referring you, but those people may not help you .. . at least a month's wait just to find out.

We are currently doing the NHS' job for them, providing daily care -unless he actually attempted suicide there would not be an offer of a bed ... and then it could be hundreds of miles away, (happened once before - we are in Kent and he was offered a bed in Yorkshire) but he needs family near ...

So, his health is deteriorating, difficulties compounded by the wait. He is further and further away from health and therefore longer needed for recovery. He qualifies for ESA, but not housing benefit as he lives with girlfriend - but she is a student! Unlikely he will be well enough to work for a couple of months at the very least ... and we are bracing ourselves financially for having to bail him out with his half of rent in about 2 months time - but I am not in work at the moment.

So much of all of his deteriorating health situation could have been avoidable if medical notes were shared efficiently and if there was more money for frontline services.

Sorry for the rant, but I feel this is just one 'hidden' story of so very many. And before you say 'here are online counselling contacts ... his personality disorder means he finds it very stressful to use the phone even when he is well. Howevee, A&E are using Samaritans as a stop gap holding service as 'normal procedure' now. They said someone would contact him this week - no-one has. AND they are not medical health experts and he would get a different volunteer each time - he cannot cope with having to go through his story each time he asks for help. So not any real use. Sigh...

Anniebach, I,m sure the time you're talking about was in between wars, you know, those upsets that engulf the whole world.

Again I'm going to ask :- What to do about it ?, and what have we come up with a forum on GN. WOW, can't wait.

Illtellhim, erm ...wrong thread?

Anniebach Sat 09-Sep-17 09:10:28
Imperfect27 Thu 14-Sep-17 19:09:15
Blinko Fri 15-Sep-17 17:19:40

Illtellhim - thanks for clarification, I couldn't make sense of your previous post.

I think a forum could have several benefits.
An outlet / emotional support for carers.
Info sharing / advice - we have learnt how the system /s work (and don't) over many years, others may need help to know what to do.
Info links for vital servcies
Maybe GN can get some 'expert' bloggers to write for discussion.

My son is a very good writer. Yesterday he wrote something that gave me new insight to his personal struggles. Sharing this sort of thing might also help others.

And if people can support each other, they may draw strength and feel more able to lobby / persist / advocate etc.

I'm not someone who simply wants to criticise and moan. I always try to think 'What can be done?' Training for staff needs to be better, particularly at surgery and A&E frontdesk / emergency services so that when vulnerable people contact services they are met with kindness and not abrupt / dismissive attitudes. And then there is information sharing between health authorities ... more awareness for doctors of what they are referring for and to so as to avoid unnecessary waits ...

But today, again, I am a bit run dry.
We now have an appointment some way away for a meds review ...good job we do have a car and some money for hospital parking!!!

Perhaps illtellhim has a more dynamic solution to offer?

Well, NHS don't have any dynamic solutions . DS1 now has some 'holding ' meds prescribed. Hope to goodness that referral appointment comes through before they run out ...
At least this Dr was sympathetic.

It seems to be a complex and ongoing issue that the politicians do not wish to address. There are surely enough people out there who are affected either directly or indirectly. The problem is, of necessity people are acting individually. Perhaps together pressure could be brought to bear.