Woeful mental health care ...

Well, what a rubbish place it is - chocolate and flowers needed all round me thinks. ...

GNHQ, we need a chocolate button!

There seem to be so many of us, doing our best, that's what families do of course. One of me pet dislikes is the notion that five or six sessions of CBT will cure all ills. Hah

Can't sleep. Achieved a lot yesterday. We are, by degrees, accelerating DS's referral. Phoned MH social worker again to ask if consultant could ring me directly rather than write with an appointment date. SW lovely and said she will see her to ask directly or email her ...will chase again tomorrow - today! I know we have to be persistent.

Have arranged further meds through Dr in London - complicated to change to a nominated chemist locally, but done so DS now has back up meds for another week.

Tried - without success - to contact CAB, ESA and P.A.L.S. - lots of waiting on phone to get through ...but will try again tomorrow.

Found out DS may be able to apply to Actor's Benevolent Fund if facing hardship later down the line - reassuring...

Really did spend nearly all day on the phone.

DS struggling - told me he keeps thinking about throwing himself off nearby bridge onto the motorway. I am not sleeping because I have this fear of him trying to leave the house - which I know is irrational really and he usually sleeps well at this part of the day, but I woke up with a start and heart racing just after midnight and cannot relax again. Had to check he is still there.

But, even though he is eating very little and not caring for himself in other ways, I have reasoned he actually is still fighting because he is angry. /it is comin gout in the wring ways and he is turning it inwards against himself, but he is still fighting. And we will go on fighting for him.

Oh Imp how trying for you. If it is any consolation at least he is articulating his despair which I am sure is healthier than internalising it and looking as if everything is fine on the surface.
Waiting on the phone has to be one of the most exhausting non-activities there is (I often have a silly computer game open while I am waiting -Cookie Crunch is my current favourite - to pass the time.
I can only wish you continued patience and good luck.

Thanks Maw. I do feel I am on a very steep learning curve. I read a lot of NICE recommendations yesterday and feel I am becoming more articulate about what it is reasonable to expect care-wise for DS.

You are right - it is good that he can articulate his anger / frustration. A lot of it is coming out in passive-aggression towards me so I am having to develop a bit of a skin to protect myself.

I will be off to do the weekly shop fairly shortly, while he still sleeps. He doesn't usually wake up fully until midday so this is my quiet time.

My 'go to' game is a card game of 'One handed patience' which DH taught me recently when we were on holiday. I could play it for hours!!! Trouble is , it does take both hands so not so easy when trying to juggle the phone ha ha! Takes my mind off things though xxx

Further update.

Sadly admission to an acute ward was badly handled - DS arrived on a very stressed evening when other patients had high needs and wasn't 'processed' properly or given due care.

Lots of phone calls and a very long visit yesterday to try to improve the situation for him - simply sad that everyone is so stressed and stretched within the services everywhere you turn.

We are hoping he will see a consultant either today or tomorrow. His dad is on standby for that.

I start a new job today - training first. Glad of the distraction really, but hard as I don't feel I can go to a brand new employer and say I have a crisis on my hands!

At least his dad is taking over with phone contact and visits today and DS understands I am 'busy'.

ONE DAY we will use this awful set of experiences in a positive way. It truly has been terrible and I can only be grateful that my son has people around him to support him. My heart breaks for the ones who do not.

But now - heigh ho and off to work I go ... xx

Good luck with the new job - what a time to start!

What is happening to our mental health services? - he has not even seen a consultant yet - that can't be right. What a worry for you.

You are clearly intelligent and articulate and can fight his corner. What happens to those families who do not have those assets on their side? Well done you for being such a terrier in your fight for his well-being - I do admire you.

Just to echo what luckygirl said. Wishes and thoughts are with you. X

Thank you Luckygirl and MissA - nice to come home to your words of support.

Well, the consultant should have been there today, but has been off sick and is returning on a phased return, so not available until tomorrow at earliest and that is still uncertain, though if it doesn't happen then, I shall start making a BIG FUSS!. As a stop gap, a duty dr will see DS1 today to check on how he is. His dad is visiting and has been told he can speak to him.

We have to remind ourselves that this is better than Nov 3rd which was the date given to DS1 last week for seeing a consultant. We are also fortunate that my DS2's partner is training to be a clinical psychologist and has been able to inform us about how some aspects of the system work and what his / our rights should be. We are going to try to organise an advocate for him through RETHINK if possible and between us will aim to attend all his consultancy appointments, Yup - terrier is about it now. What has upset me the most is that he needs a meds review because his medication males him sleep too much - 12/15 hours a day. So, he has slept through breakfast and lunch. They have a policy of not waking a patient in case they are violent, so he has missed meals by default. However, they also have a policy of not replacing missed meals so that patients don't use and abuse the system. Fair enough, but they could have been more aware and discerning as DS1 only had one meal yesterday and the day before and was not offered any replacements. If we hadn't been visiting this would have gone on!

I also know that NICE Guidelines state that when referred in crisis he had a right to see a consultant within 4 hours ...we are now heading towards 4 days so we won't let that go ...

Exhausting though!

Work went well - but simply info, info, info and a lot to absorb. I will sleep well tonight!

Imperfect I truly feel for you. At least while DS is an inpatient you won't be waking up worrying about what he may be doing. I do hope you manage to use this time to get much-needed sleep.