Recognising Mental Illness in Our Grandchildren

I agree with you completely.We often have Grans on here concerned about their DGC who are often given reassuring messages by well meaning posters who know nothing of mental health issues.

I agree APorter910 and lemongrove but I wouldn't go so far as to stick it on my fridge.

I would hate for my grandchildren to start imagining that they had problems when they did not. A bit like googling symptoms and having yourself with every nasty disease going.

Is this an advertisement for an independent fostering agency? It takes me straight to their homepage and not to a poster about mental health in children.

Yes same here nightowl then I realised there is a pic of the poster at the top of the post.
Unfortunately even after clicking on it I can't make it big enough to read

hello nightown and ninathenana - this isn't an advertisement, I'm not sure how to add a full sized image, but I would be happy to email it across to you both?

I'm still trying to work out the tricky bits of the forum please forgive - Alice

Here is the poster again

Thank you Alice, apologies for seeming suspicious, I can see the poster now but like Nina I couldn’t make it big enough to read. I’ve managed to do the link now, here you go

www.lorimerfostering.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/LorimerInfographic.jpg

thank you nightowl! smile

A parent knows when there is something wrong with their child. It's that label they don't want to deal with.... and I agree, children do go through phases but there are some who need help and need us to get out of being in denial or worrying about what society will think. It's your job as a parent tor take care of a child's wellbeing. A child who has an issue is a child who NEEDS YOU!

APorter910 I completely agree with your post.
The sad thing is in our case we just CANNOT get a mental health assessment for my dgd!! Not for the want of trying or her behaviour becoming increasingly worrying.
We did have a CAMHS appt (adults not dgd). On the morning of the appt the social worker was called to court and couldn't attend. CAMHS wouldn't see us without her. I was told another appointment would be made. It wasn't. I was told a telephone consultation would happen. That apparently is now not an option!! Because there has been a 'transition ' they are putting the worrying behaviour down to this! But... the behaviour started BEFORE this! And is only getting worse. It has now spilt over into school. We have meetings there and educational psychologist is observing but that's it! It's so frustrating. Poor wee thing is struggling every day to manage her emotional outbursts, as we are! ?

I studied mental health and advocacy at uni.........it always surprises me how much money there seems to be for 'raising awareness' and how little translates to service on the ground so to speak. I have also worked for for MIND albeit some years ago and find what people preach about mental health issues and what they practice to be two different things.

It was all very well closing the institutions and getting people back into the cmmunity but many of them are very vulnerable, and the money for proper support isn't there. Like everything else it is a social construct in some aspects and time changes all attitudes, sometimes are kinder than others.

I did some part time work in a Senior School and I was so shocked at the amount of children with mental health issues. There are not enough specialist schools So they are not getting the help they need, so they are in main stream, disrupting others learning on a daily basis. It was very worrying and distressing to watch so for my stress levels I had to walk away.

I don't think anyone here has, so far, told us what the signs of mental illness in children might be. A child who is docile and obedient isn't necessarily in excellent mental health. Naughtiness isn't necessarily a sign of mental illness. Crucially, a parent won't always welcome well-meaning advice about how abnormal the child seems to be and how it might be mentally ill.

I have a nephew whose son is on the autistic spectrum. He seems to be in denial about that, but his wife (now ex wife) is trying without much success to get the child any specialist help that might improve his chances of getting a good education. Both are very loving parents. Both would say that the medical profession isn't very helpful and that mainstream schools are rather intolerant of autistic children.

How about thinking about the causes of stress e.g.
mobile phone use/social media
pressure to get good grades at school
the assumption that university is the goal
sex and sexual orientation
breakdown of families
money particularly lack of it
Body image
etc

When my DH was at school I was worried about her and eventually she was seen by a nurse from CAMHS. They were very reluctant to say she had a MH because they didn't want labelling, but at that time they went much too far, to the extent that they were going to do nothing at all until a crisis emerged a few days later (I was told I was the one with the problem, I could hear 'Munchhausen's' floating around unsaid). I sincerely hope things have changed now (this was 15 years ago) because it is so important that issues are addressed as early as possible.

I was on a stall at a Mental Health open day on Tuesday. During the day I think I saw about half a dozen "members of public". Most of the activity was networking with all the support groups I hadn't heard of before, many appearing to be addressing the same situations.

I am involved in planning an initiative to support families of transgender people. This is relevant to the original post as children with gender dysphoria are very likely to be abused, and therefore suffer mental ill health. The proposal is that a professional carer will provide support to the family, and a transgender volunteer will support the t-person - who may or may not be a child.

Some of us are trying to "do something"!

Refreshing to see a post about 'suffering from mental illness' as opposed to 'suffering from mental health'. Lots of good points well made.

Sorry but naughty doesn't come into to metal health issues. My gd is 17 she has been through a terrible trauma and has had to cope with a lot of problems, We have a fantastic team of people at CAMHS that help her as we couldn't deal with her problems on our own. She is now on medication which seems to help, she's at 6th form college and loving it.
We see so many young people at the clinic who are so much younger. There not naughty they are troubled.

My 7 year old DGD is waiting for an appointment at CAMHS. She used to be such a happy, confident little girl, but towards the end of the summer holidays she had a complete personality change and started saying that she didn’t want to go back to school. Her parents and we thought it was because she was leaving a teacher under whom she thrived, and moving up to one who was, allegedly, not so good.

Things have not improved and DGD is now anxious about every little thing, is lethargic and tired, not interested in anything, so pale, not eating, not sleeping and doesn’t want to go to school, dancing, swimming or gymnastics, all of which she used to really enjoy. So far her parents have managed to get her to school every morning, but it’s a battleground with bucketloads of tears every day. It’s heartbreaking to see her so unhappy and to leave her in tears, but, apparently, she does eventually settle down. The staff are aware of the situation, and it was they rather than the GP who made the referral to CAMHS. Of course DGD doesn’t know or understand why she’s feeling and behaving like she is, but we’ve all told her it’s an illness from which she will recover (hopefully) and that we know that she can’t help being as she is. It’s hard for her two younger sisters to cope with too.

It’s like deja vu for me as, when she was a few years older than my DGD, my DD (DGD’s auntie) missed a term of school with depression and she was on medication for a long while. I quickly recognised the symptoms and same behaviour patterns in my DGD and my heart sank. I know only too well the feelings of complete helplessness that her parents are experiencing.

It’s so sad that depression is becoming so much more prevalent in children and young adults. I wish there was an easy answer as to why. I wouldn’t wish what DGD and her family are going through on anyone.

I can track my DS1's difficulties right back to when he was a toddler. But no-one listened. I was made to feel that I was just a 'neurotic / failing' parent who simply wanted to latch on to a label by many professionals. I had to jump up and down to get a diagnosis for him at age 11 - and this only happened because his father and I were very articulate. And we are currently still having to jump up and down about the lack of care and provision for him whilst he is on an acute ward.

I appreciate the OP's intent - we questioned our own parenting, DS' diet and general health and found our own instinct that he was struggling was ignored and patronised for a decade.

I hope that together with more 'public' awareness about mental health issues there will also be a changing attitude amongst professionals who have to make diagnoses and a culture of more active listening to family input.

A quick upadate. Tomorrow my son and daughter in law have an appointment at CAMHS without my granddaughter. Hopefully they will be able to say how things really are without granddaughter getting upset or defensive. They’re hoping that granddaughter will then be seen soon and an action plan put in place for her treatment and recovery.

The very best of luck to your family, coppernob.

Coppernob I hope they have a successful outcome from their appointment.

Presumably the GP has done all the usual blood tests etc in case there may be a physical problem for her lethargy, paleness and lack of enthusiasm for normal activities.
Have she been checked for eg coeliac disease which can, if undetected, result in similar symptoms as the digestive system is not absorbing any nutrients from food?

Just a thought as a complete lack of energy from this can result in what would seem to be a personality change.

Of course, it may be nothing of the kind but it is worth enquiring if the GP will do a blood test to rule out any physical disorder.