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First St Barbara then St Gerald and now Father Jack

(61 Posts)
vampirequeen Tue 12-Dec-17 15:39:59

What is it with the menopause? I was told it would just mean I could have sex without babies and perhaps the odd hot flush. Didn't sound that bad

So why have I joined St Barbara (patron saint of bearded ladies) and St Gerald (patron saint of acne sufferers)? Now to crown it all I've developed hairy hand syndrome just like Father Jack. Time for me to move to St Clabberts.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV_CQrHKna8

merlotgran Thu 14-Dec-17 14:04:42

Did anyone see John Culshaw on an afternoon cookery programme with the Hairy Bikers last week?

He does The Donald brilliantly and as he was watching them roll out marzipan he said (in his Trump voice) that he'd like a slice to wear on his head when he goes out in the rain because nobody would know it wasn't his hair! grin

vampirequeen Thu 14-Dec-17 13:53:25

Feck is a four letter word that usually comes before 'off'. If that's any help, Rhinestone. Your arse is your derriere.

sluttygran Thu 14-Dec-17 13:34:05

inishowen. Apropos wearing a wig - I feel sure that you would feel very confident indeed so long as you chose a flattering wig and had it nicely styled.
Modern wigs look very realistic indeed, and many women who don’t suffer hair loss nonetheless have a wardrobe of fashionable hairpieces.
It’s just the same as a hat, really, so go for it!
My only reservation is the price, but I’m saving for a really nice, elegant one. Maybe we can compare notes before too long?
Now where was I? Ah, yes. FECK - ARSE!

KirbyGirl Thu 14-Dec-17 12:27:28

I took HRT for many years and felt fine then stopped because of all the worrying stories . A few weeks later suddenly could hardly get out of the car. Arthritis hit with a bang and has been awful for the last eight years. I have never seen this mentioned anywhere but I regret giving up the HRT!

Rhinestone Thu 14-Dec-17 12:25:43

I’m not sure what Feck and Arse mean as I am in the states but I will yell it every time I see that orange faced clown on our telly. I scream four letter words daily about him and have for almost a year.
Yes my va Jay jay takes tablets, my hair on my chin gets Electroylsis and my body is as lumpy as a sack of potatoes but I’m still here and happy to be complaining about it all. At least the hot flashes have stopped. Isn’t it enough that we give birth? Do we have to go thru all this too?? I’m coming back a man next time

Ilovedragonflies Thu 14-Dec-17 12:19:42

Loving the 'Feck, Arse,' comments on here - so good to join like-minded people. Menopause sucks - did you know that if you're single and, um, not participating in anything of a joyful nature with a member of the opposite sex - your doodad atrophies? Atrophies! I found that out when I went for a pap - had to get some special moisture-making 'pop it up your minnie' tablets so they could get anywhere near me without me hitting the ceiling! I knew men had to come in handy somewhere along the line, but did it really have to be sex related...? blush wink

Ramblingrose22 Thu 14-Dec-17 11:48:14

Not much consolation VQ but yesterday the shop assistant who helped me - probably in her twenties - had clearly shaved thick stubble off the bottom half of her face.

pamdixon Thu 14-Dec-17 11:19:25

do go for HRT if you can - my dr. nade me come off it years ago (can't remember why now!) and have not had a proper night's sleep since..............
good luck with the rest!

W11girl Thu 14-Dec-17 11:14:09

Had a hystorectomy at 24...am 65 now.....took HRT for 5 years around 40 and was taken off by my GP. Only this morning, after scans and tests, and constant pain I have been told my bones are very thin and can break at any time, have now been put on lifetime pills. Fortunately no hairy problems....but I think I would rather have hairy problems than what I have now!

sarahellenwhitney Thu 14-Dec-17 10:57:48

Jalillmal08
Is it not possible that just for once , as for many it is a time of year in which family and friends get together to enjoy themselves, smile and leave the word Trump out of ones daily vocabulary?

newnanny Thu 14-Dec-17 10:54:11

I can only describe menopause as running along through life and then running into brick wall. Despite taking numerous supplements I feel tired and fall asleep I'm chair a lot to amusement of grown up sons still living at home.

grannyinmypocket Thu 14-Dec-17 10:40:57

It's not fair, used to have thin body and thick hair, now have thick body and thin hair,

inishowen Thu 14-Dec-17 10:38:23

Sluttygran, I can relate. No hair on arms or legs any more, and scalp becoming more and more obvious. I've just come back from a week in the sun and I hated having to wear a hat all the time. I wish I had the confidence to wear a wig.

sluttygran Thu 14-Dec-17 10:33:25

Oh dear! At least you hairy ladies can rely on epilators, creams, etc.
My menopausal symptoms seem to consist only of mild hot flushes and almost complete hair loss. No hair on face, arms, legs, armpits, other bits, and worse of all not much left on head.
I still have eyebrows and lashes, so I suppose I must be thankful for small mercies.
Ah well, I shall nip out and purchase a luxuriant wig - and if its anything like Donald Trump's ghastly 'syrup', you will hear me shouting "FECK and ARSE "

carol58 Thu 14-Dec-17 10:22:09

And I thought it was just me lol! Off to Argos to get me an epilator.....

lesley4357 Thu 14-Dec-17 09:59:48

My toes look like a hairy troll's

lizzy67 Thu 14-Dec-17 09:55:21

I so feel for you all. I too had a hysterectomy at 39 when I was 'peri-menopausal'. No problem there. But my God, did I become hairy! My lip, my chin, I even have to shave my neck, my cheeks are now becoming hairy, my toes are hairy, my legs are hairy. There is just too much too deal with. It's probably high time I went and had some threading on my face!

Willow500 Thu 14-Dec-17 07:49:27

My menopause came and went without incident but I have joined the hairy face band - in particular the moustache brigade. I'm wondering if I should encourage handlebars with wax as a new fashion trend grin

NfkDumpling Wed 13-Dec-17 19:54:52

I was lucky. I had a hysterectomy just before the menopause really struck so got the option of taking the minimum dose of oestrogen only HRT. There is a slightly higher risk of breast cancer but there are benefits, apparently helping prevent osteoporosis, dementia and memory loss. When I had to come off it for a month before my knee op my skin got worse, I was more ratty - apparently - and .... I got hairier!

Iam64 Wed 13-Dec-17 08:09:37

NfkD I suspect many of us would either have taken or stuck with HRT if the reality of post menopausal stuff had been spelled out. Given a choice between the positives and the possible risks, I know which way I;d have jumped.

NfkDumpling Wed 13-Dec-17 07:50:47

I'm sticking to the HRT. Wonderful stuff. That and gin. Sorted the menopause, but I fear we're feaking stuck with Trump.

Jalima1108 Tue 12-Dec-17 23:59:55

Let's hope Trump doesn't last as long as the menopause .....

merlotgran Tue 12-Dec-17 23:56:38

Never mind, phoenix. It's comforting to know that every time Trump appears on telly at least one, if not all of us will be shouting, 'Feck, Arse,'

The new Gransnet battle cry. grin

phoenix Tue 12-Dec-17 23:49:06

It's all so bloody wrong and unfair!

(BTW, that applies to both the menopause and Trump, but I suppose at least one of them is a natural progression in life)

Jalima1108 Tue 12-Dec-17 23:45:25

grin
that's very mild vq!