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immunisations

(19 Posts)
annar Sat 03-Feb-18 18:12:29

my daughter in law has decided not to immunise my granddaughter. I am really worried about her getting some terrible illness like meningitis and I also feel its a socially irresponsible decision. The baby's father doesnt agree with the decision but doesnt feel he can insist. Is there anything that I should be doing. My daughter in law is convinced that immunisations are dangerous and will definitely never change her mind

Newquay Sat 03-Feb-18 18:22:53

Oh dear-this is such a tricky one isn't it? We have one DD who will not have all these "cocktails" and waits til they are older. DD2, married to a medic, goes along with all injections. They seem to start ever younger with even more contents. If only they were more separate. MMR has been controversial and I understand that we fund separate doses abroad but our own children have to have the three together?

SpringyChicken Sat 03-Feb-18 18:36:50

I hope she has researched the diseases that immunisation protects against, they are truly dangerous with horrible consequences. It's not good enough to say there is the link to autism - that research has been discredited. Refusing the immunisation through ignorance and not bothering to learn the facts is unforgivable and DIL should never forgive herself if her daughter contracts a serious illness. Your son has rights too - why can't he insist - or arrange the immunisation himself?

Orange123 Sat 03-Feb-18 19:15:07

I feel very strongly that all children should be immunized. Perhaps because I can remember the ravages of measles, rubella, whooping cough, and polio. Does anyone else remember iron lungs? I knew a few people who survived polio and were left with withered legs. My friend's son died from whooping cough. I think people of this generation just do not understand how deadly these diseases are.

In the U.S. many pediatricians are refusing to treat children who are not vaccinated. The reason is that those children pose a grave threat to their other patients who are either too young to receive the vaccine, or legitimately cannot receive a vaccine because of a medical condition (such as a weakened immune system, among others).

The same is true of schools. If your child is not properly vaccinated, they can/will be refused admission.

We vaccinate not only to protect our own children, but to protect those who CANNOT be vaccinated.

mcem Sat 03-Feb-18 19:20:34

Your son needs to man up and provide the protection that his child (and the general population) needs.

Fennel Sat 03-Feb-18 19:30:13

Orange - it's a similar situation in France, where the number of compulsory immunisations has recently increased to 11.
Children have to have health insurance before being admitted to school, so there could be problems ahead. If parents oppose the scheme.

hildajenniJ Sat 03-Feb-18 20:01:54

Just at the end of last year there were diphtheria outbreaks in India, Yemen and Venezuela. In these days of world travel and migration immunization is more important than ever. I'm sure I also heard of polio rearing it's ugly head again. I had a friend in Junior school who was a polio victim. She died at age 21 from the lon g term effects of this horrible disease. I hope you don't can talk round you DiL if not just to protect her own children, but to protect others too.

hildajenniJ Sat 03-Feb-18 20:03:13

Your son.

Flipping auto correct!!

mumofmadboys Sat 03-Feb-18 20:17:40

Despite being a retired GP, I think you are best to back off and leave it to the parents to sort out. It is not worth jeopardizing your relationship over. In time your DIL may change her mind. GPs she comes across will tell her the facts. I would avoid the subject and see what happens. The less said the easier for your DIL to change her stance on it. One problem is GPs haven't seen a lot of these conditions nowadays so they are harder to recognise and diagnose. It will be highlighted on your grandchilds records that she hasn't had vaccines so doctors will be alert to the possibility of these illnesses. Good luck.

M0nica Sat 03-Feb-18 20:48:14

I agree with mumofmadboys, make an issue of it and it makes it difficult for her to back down and have the vaccines done later and if/when she does, treat it casually for the same reasons in case she backs down.

I fully understand why some parents do worry about them. I am allergic to some drugs and over react to others, so am very wary about vaccinations for myself and thought long and hard before my children were vaccinated and my DS and DDiL did much the same. We all went ahead with them, but I do have sympathy for those who are less certain.

OldMeg Sat 03-Feb-18 21:43:44

I agree with both momb & Monica. You say your DiL won’t change her mind so don’t even go there. My son and DiL refused to have these cocktails while their children were so very young and so paid privately for individual vaccinations given at spaced intervals when they were older.

Both girls are now up to date will all vaccinations (except mumps).

Your DiL is not doing this just to be awkward, she has real fears.

Luckygirl Sat 03-Feb-18 23:31:00

* We have one DD who will not have all these "cocktails" and waits til they are older*!! Deary me.

It is while the child is tiny that it needs the most protection. And the whole cocktail business is nonsense. Every child is exposed to a cocktail of bugs every day.

I agree that you should not try and persuade your DIL - she will just dig her heels in. But folk like that make me so mad - and I am usually fairly easy-going.

Many moons ago, as the wife of a GP I did not get the whooping cough vaccination - it was in the middle of the "scare." mumofmadboys is quite right - the reason we did not have it was because we had never seen what whooping cough was like and my OH had not seen a case ever. Mind you I had it when I was little, but it was a long time ago.

Long story short - our 4 year old DD caught it and was very ill indeed. 30 odd years later she still coughs a lot. A year after the illness she still could not run about.

If your son thinks (rightly) that your GC should have the vaccination then all you can do is hope she comes round - or take her to visit a Victorian cemetery and look at the rows of child graves from diphtheria and other outbreaks.

fiorentina51 Sun 04-Feb-18 09:09:22

I totally agree Luckygirl. My son was quite poorly after a difficult birth and I was advised not to have him vaccinated against whooping cough. It was the start of the ongoing controversy over the safety of the vaccine so I was hypervigilant.
He caught whooping cough when he was 3 and I was just pregnant with my second child. It started in September and he was finally given the all clear the following May.
Day after day of the most terrifying coughing spasms, followed by him vomiting up what small amounts of food he could manage. Him sobbing in my arms at night totally exhausted. It was heartbreaking. The next baby was given all the vaccines available!
I agree with other posters. Let the parents make their decision. Fingers crossed they make the right one.

fiorentina51 Sun 04-Feb-18 09:18:00

Maybe if you show your DIL this video, she might have a rethink. Small babies are at greater risk, particularly if they are in contact with older non vaccinated children who might have the infection, as they (the baby) would probably be too young to be protected themselves.
youtu.be/S3oZrMGDMMw

Nannarose Sun 04-Feb-18 09:56:21

I would not even try to persuade her. My experience is that people change their minds when they are left quietly to think about it, and especially if they can do so without losing face. However sensible your position, if you establish it as against her, you will be giving her fewer options.
I would say, if you possibly can, that you trust BOTH of them to make the best decisions for their family, and that they have your love and support in being the best parents they can be.
That takes the pressure off, and leaves space for your d-i-l to think without constantly marshalling her arguments, and your son to worry only about talking it over with his wife, and not having to justify himself to you.
They can of course, pick up the immunisation schedule at any time.

goldengirl Sun 04-Feb-18 11:20:15

Let's hope she shares her thoughts with friends who have had their children immunised. This might have more clout than close relatives. I've always worried about the effect on little people re: injections but have always taken the opportunity to get my own children immunised - and thankfully they have gone on to have their own children done as well. The diseases are far worse than a moment's discomfort. Her husband must be worried.

felice Sun 04-Feb-18 12:31:15

Children here cannot go to Creche, Maternalle, Primary or Secondary school without producing their immunisation card, they also get TB Xrays in the first 3 years of Secondary, compulsory.
There was some controversy a couple of years ago with refugee children who were not vaccinated and had to attend school.
It was resolved by making separate classes for the children until they were vaccinated, some parents dis-agreed with the programe but came round when they realised their children were completely separated from others even during entering and leaving school and not allowed to mix in the playground.
Of course this costs money, not sure if the UK Government would fund it as the government does here.

OldMeg Sun 04-Feb-18 12:37:39

Luckygirl yo are entitled to your own opinions but I’d rather you didn’t mock ours.

Nannarose Sun 04-Feb-18 14:04:08

Felice - I'm not sure what you mean by 'funded'. All recommended childhood immunisations are free in the UK. They are all also voluntary, and we get very high cover - I heard on the radio recently that it is above 90% now.

Unvaccinated children are not normally excluded in any way, and that is a policy, not a funding issue. During a specific outbreak they may be asked to stay away from school whilst vaccinations are organised - which is within 24 hours usually. I have known one family who home schooled their children during a measles outbreak, but that is very rare.