Kitty, my BIL is is in a very similar position. He started off with a tube in his chest and then a fistula, also has had bladder cancer (something has shown up again on latest scan) and now serious heart and lung problems.
I know this isn't much help to you, but I cannot offer any words of advice. I never can find the right words myself to say to my SIL and she is not the easiest of people to be with, so I don't always get it right. However, I do try to do the best I can.
Dialysis has contra indications for all one's other health conditions, my BIL had to be "shocked", as his heart went into an arrhythmia twice during dialysis. So there are all those complications to deal with.
What we do , is be there for them, do the emergency dashes to the hospital in the middle of the night, take him to clinics, be there to listen and as their son works far away, do the hospital visits and visit regularly.
My SIL has shut down a bit, as it is all getting too much for her.
The best thing you can do is be there for your friend, listen to her and make sure she is looking after her own health.
As many on here know, the stress of looking after an ill loved one takes a terrible toll on your own health.
My SIL neglected herself trying to be the perfect wife, (and it's impossible to be that).
She is so lucky to have a friend like you, who cares.
