Post surgery

Thank you everyone for your help and lovely support.It does make me feel less alone.
I hesitated to share on here, as I know it will also be shared on FB by GN! and most of my less close friends don’t know my situation. I am naturally a private person and very independent.
I didn’t share with my children how ill I was becoming before the operation,partly because I didn’t want to burden them,and partly because I felt embarrassed by some of the self care difficulties I was having due to the size and position of the tumour and resultant tiredness.
But I have learned now that sometimes is OK for me to ask for help.
Having been a lone parent for several years, and a carer. plus with my work as a lawyer, I have been more used to handing out advice than receiving it ?

Having been very much in a rather similar situation as yourself Jenpax, all be it many years from now,cancer and further cancers,all the treatments,the ups and the downs.... which seem to sap every little morsel of energy away ,it really brings you down to about as low a level as can be.Feeling low and weepy is indeed such a reaction, perfectly normal indeed.
Family at a distance,everything seemingly a nightmare.
Life is one big struggle.

Whilst in your case you seem to have faced what appears to be rejection in the area that was very dear to you,this Charity work in which you had high hopes of better things.
I can assure you all the feelings you have expressed are very normal.

My word,you have been at death`s door,you have faced major cancer surgery, the vile sepsis and yet further set backs requiring further surgery.This is all so very recent too.You really are expecting far too much,far too soon.
Your body maybe a temple but it has been totally battered and beaten almost from every angle.

Actually I am amazed.............and delighted.......knowing here you are back out on the winning side.........but still naturally feeling very low in spirit.

Dear Jenpax may I hastily add this is indeed very much as expected.
Your body.......and every element of yourself........has taken such massive knocks.
Most folk would be truly down and out way before now.It shows you as a real fighter and therefor you just need to carry on in this fighting spirit.

Please believe me, what you now need is time and space............lots of..... to rebuild your body,thoughts,hopes and dreams.

Firstly the body,this needs all the help it can possibly have,lots of healthy sleep,good nourishing foodstuffs,taking extra supplements such as ENSURE PLUS with all the body building nutrients required would be advisable,alongside your good diet.
Some healthy uplifting fresh air again is a great refreshing influence and something which will give you a new purpose and hopefully,true inner delight as you again experience the gifts of nature itself round and about you.

Don`t forget peace of mind.This is an area that always needs addressing after such a journey.
Brush aside your disappointments..........time enough later on to redress your situation and perhaps build back your career or indeed start over afresh with future paths.

Of course you are tired,your body is weary.Treat it kindly.
Leave time be the ultimate healer.

So good luck on this new and exciting journey,with your determination Jenpax I feel sure you are a winner at heart.

Take this time out and be nice to yourself.You will get there........but not by rushing or being fretful.

I am more than happy to share with you privately if this maybe of help.

Good luck and I wish you well in every sense of the word.

You have been through the mill jenpax, recuperation takes time so baby steps. I was given Fortisip drinks which replaced all essential nutrients and helped me maintain body weight.
Good luck and stay positive.

Wishing you well Jenpax, I hope you can find your inner strength each day, listen to your body, it has been through so much and let it rest and recuperate. Just having an anaesthetic takes some getting over and the emotional side of illness can be difficult to counter and you have been through the mill physically. I hope you have a good night and feel stronger tomorrow xx

My DH had sepsis a couple of years ago and lost a lot of weight - it took him about a year to be more or less back to normal. He is still finding he tires easily if he does much exertion and we are now almost three years down the line.

Are you still having the antibiotics? I think your body has had a lot to deal with and it is quite understandable you feel so low. Your appetite will gradually come back but just eat what you can.

I wish you well and hope it isn’t too long before you are feeling better.

Jenpax you’ve been through major surgery, twice. Believe me this is norma, the way you feel. Hang on in there. This is your body registering major trauma and that will affect your mood and just about everything else.

Concentrate on getting better, out of ITU and home to convalesce. In fact if you are offered some kind of convalescence do take it and not be in a huge rush to get home too soon.

Jenpax, be gentle with yourself. Take on board what others have said, and realise that you will get better, but in your body's own time. It must be horrid to be stuck in hospital, far from home, but keep us informed as to how you are doing. It will pass, but you must try to be a patient patient.
Thinking of you and wishing you better soon.

I bet you do! Five weeks is a long time, but you've had a lot of healing to do. Stick with it. You are getting better and, it may seem clichéd, but you are in the right place.

Thanks everyone I am still in the hospital though I have been stuck on the ward/ITU for 5 weeks I want to go home

You must be exhausted, jenpax. Illness and surgery really "takes it out" of you and tiredness like that will make you weepy. I do hope you begin to feel better bit by bit .

I can't imagine anyone going through what you are experiencing and not feeling emotional. You shouldn't be worried about the tears and should just concentrate on getting your strength back after such a tough time. I really hope your treatment has been successful and you're soon on the road to recovery

Heavens jenpax - what a dreadful time you have had. My heart goes out to you. You really must not worry that you are feeling so low - your body is struggling its way back to health, and even one anaesthetic can take weeks to recover from.

Please do not feel that you are somehow not making progress - you are doing well to be at home and managing on your own. Surgery can really knock you about and you must not feel discouraged by your progress - it will take time to get back on top again - but you will in the end.

The emotional upsets will feel more acute as you are still recovering. Hopefully you will be able to be more philosophical when you are physically back to health.

Rest and rest - preferably in the garden.

Goodness me! If you weren't crying I would be worried. What both your mind and body has had to endure is traumatic beyond belief, and both need time to gently recover. You are probably suffering a degree of grief too for what you were and what you are at present, but think of it as transient, you are healing, it may seem one step forward one back at times, but if you are generally progressing you should grasp this and look forward to the not too distant future when you are looking younger than you did before the operation, full of energy and taking your place on the stage where you obviously deserve to be!

It sounds like you’ve been really rather ill! This will take along time to recover from and feeling down sounds perfectly natural to me after what your body has been through and still is trying to recover from. Knocks like the lack of recognition are bound to hit harder, especially when you’re so cut off. I’m sure your mood will lift as your health improves. (A bit of a b****r about the lack of recognition though. It really doesn’t sound fair. When you’re fit again you must remember to blow your own trumpet. No one else will!)