I just wanted to get some reassurance that it’s normal to get weepy after surgery. I had a major cancerous tumour removed in April which appears to have been growing undetected for years.I lost third of my large intestine, a kidney and my left ovary. I had been looking forward to the op as I had been finding life so tiring. However once I was in the op went ok at first, but I swiftly developed sepsis,and had to be rushed into surgery with my family being told I might die,for emergency wash out leading to more intestine removal and a temporary stoma.since then I have struggled with a painful and slow recovery, I acquired a chest infection too which is now responding to treatment.
However I have lost my appetite and am struggling to eat. I feel really low and weepy,the hospital is not near by so family and friends struggle to visit but they have all been stars and come several times a week anyway.
Today I had news that my old university hadn’t shortlisted me for an alumni award,I have been working for 20 years in the charity sector and my boss felt I deserved recognition. I felt really knocked back by this although I never expected to win ? but guess that slow and solid older workers however hard working isn’t sexy. It would have been nice to get an honourable mention for being nominated at least.
Later A friend told me that she was being invited to take on free lance work training in a field we are both knowledgeable about, which is lovely for her but might have given me some time to step back to work gradually, obviously she was sharing her good news with me and I was and am happy but it still knocked me a little.
my boss sent me a picture of he and his partner enjoying a black tie dinner to accept an award on behalf of the charity we work for whom I had nominated.which was fine As I am very happy the work is being recognised. but it made me feel even lower in mood lying here as I am in pain, looking 20 years older and grey in the face? I feel I have lost my mojo. Although I am only early 50,S a bed neighbour who is mid 80’s assumed I was her age?.
I seem to have spent the last 3 days bursting into tears over nothing, missing my family and my old life however tired I got.
German voters slide inexorably to common sense …

