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Health

It’s just not fair

(48 Posts)
Cabbie21 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:21:45

DH has just announced he has lost half a stone.
He did say, I know this will annoy you. It has, because he has lost weight and I would like to. Actually I have stopped weighing myself as I do not like what I see.
DH has Type 2 diabetes, angina, arthritis and a few other things, so he never walks anywhere or takes any form of exercise. Although we eat fairly sensibly, he has to have a biscuit with every cup of coffee.
I might eat two biscuits a week and the odd square of dark chocolate. Because of IBS I cannot eat as much fruit, salad and veg as I would like to.
I know I should walk more but because of loo problems I can’t go far.
I know I need to try harder, but it is infuriating that he has lost weight without trying.

MawBroon Tue 05-Jun-18 09:26:03

Given all the things your DH has going on medically it sounds no bad thing. However, unexplained weight loss, especially as we get older, might be a cause for concern.
You might like to encourage him to have e.g. his Diabetes checked out.
Hope there is nothing wrong of course!
Don’t let your own weight get you down though - there are worse things health wise than calories!

Cabbie21 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:30:45

Thanks for the concern. DH is meticulous with his health checks and his medication, so I have no doubt he is as well as can be expected. His weight loss is half a stone over six months, nothing drastic.

MawBroon Tue 05-Jun-18 09:34:13

Well that is good! You can seethe with justification then! smile

M0nica Tue 05-Jun-18 09:47:59

7lbs in six months, is less than the reduction of a biscuit a day. He is probably eating a little less because his appetite has dropped slightly.

It shows how even small, unnoticeable changes in eating patterns can affect weight for good or ill.

Cabbie21 Thu 07-Jun-18 08:37:31

Message to self - must try harder!

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:28:50

Yes MOnica,you're right.ive had a stomach bug last wk and subsequently didnt eat at all for around 48hrs,then rest of wk ,had bit of toast,then moved onto soup&bit of bread.Still not on anything like more than toast in morning & 1 evening meal as yet but already ive noticed my legs and the 'tummy' id developed look a bit thinner! (Not that id reccomend the bug as a diet method but you see what i mean...)lol.?

Marianne1953 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:29:22

I am trying The IF diet as despite me walking more than 50miles a week, I hardly lost weight. The didn’t seems to be working big time. I fast for 18hours from 6pm to 12 noon. You don’t have to think about what you eat during your eating window, though you mustn’t over indulge.
About your husband not doing exercise, he really should try and do some walking, my husband has the the same problems as yours, however, he does not need to lose weight as he is skinny ( yes he still has type 2 diabetes), he walks at least, half an hour a day to pick our grandson up from school and he also plays bowls. Exercise is so important.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:34:58

It's annoying isn't it, when others succeed at losing weight when you're struggling?
I expect that I'm annoying. I'm apparently normal weight now but I've been 'helped' by having a temporary dental splint fitted due to a tumble down some stairs. This was followed by a soft diet and drinking through a straw. If I was an 'ice-cream-aholic' I'd be in trouble though.
A few years back when I had pneumonia I lost weight because I couldn't stop coughing long to get/keep anything down. I seem to specialise in losing weight in unfortunate circumstances! When I get back to normal I must be careful not to put it all back on due to my love of cake, etc.

Matelda Thu 07-Jun-18 09:37:30

You can still take some easy simple exercise in your living room. There are lots of useful - and free - exercise programs on YouTube. I very much like 'Walk at Home' with Leslie Sansone. She will get you walking a mile in 15 minutes with stepping forwards, backwards and sideways. It feels a bit like really easy dancing. When you are ready, you can move up to three miles in 45 minutes. It's best to choose some of the older easier videos as recently she has included some more ambitious things like jogging and mamba steps. All lots of fun, but maybe not for complete beginners.

Kim19 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:38:12

7lbs in six months is a splendid way to lose weight. My experience has been slowly but surely and the weight stays off. I've tried all the 'crashes' over the years with complete failure. It's only taken me 50 years to achieve success! Talk about a slow learner! Have to say this feels much better. Hand on heart, I was never unhappy heavier but I now have health benefits that, for instance, enable me to run wildly with GC. All good and, again, hand on heart, I've found the procedure painless.

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:47:23

And yes,it may still be that slight drop is something worth your DH going to gp &mentioning,just to be on safe side-maybe he was mentioning it to you because HE is a bit worried by it himself??maybe you can go with him?-as for your health,i too have to be near loos (bladder)but maybe you could plan yourself a certain route to walk that you could stick to which 'incorparates' where you can have toilet stops? (I try keep walking if i can,though a little slower,as ive also got osteoarthritis&plantar fasciitis-) or maybe you could try a gym on a treadmill- so youre still near toilets but getting excercise??

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:55:47

Oh we must be alike lovebeigecardigans1955!!i too only ditch the weight in situations where im ill or something! I too must avoid cake,(&possibly cheese)...?

LJP1 Thu 07-Jun-18 09:58:01

A woman on Woman's Hour a couple of weeks ago was talking about the miseries of being 'fat' in spite of eating a balanced diet. When asked why she couldn't lose weight she replied 'I eat too much,..... helpings too big.'

Is someone force feeding her?

Jane43 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:00:01

I am in the same position as you Cabbie 21. My husband was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes three months ago which was a shock as he had no symptoms and was not vastly overweight. We went to the diabetes nurse together and she had a prescription ready for him but we had researched it and he said he wanted to control it through diet. Three months later he has transformed his eating habits which were far from ideal and lost 20 Pounds pretty easily; his blood glucose in now in the normal range. He previously loved desserts, biscuits chocolate etc but all those have gone from his diet which is now low carb and smaller portions of healthy food three times a day. He only had 4 bottles of lager a week but this has gone now. I was always nagging him about portion sizes and as a side benefit he no longer has acid reflux so has given up the medication for that. His weight loss seems dramatic but it is easier for men to lose weight than women, not fair I know but that’s the way it is unfortunately.

I have been eating healthily alongside him and I started way before him but have managed to lose a stone - it has been hard going to achieve that. I have given up breakfast and only have one slice of bread at lunch time. I plateaued after a few weeks and did a lot of research into why. You can work out your Basal Metabolic Rate on line and for my age and weight it is just under 1400 calories a day to maintain my body. I am not very active either, just routine shopping, Housework and a dog walk every day so my rate won’t be much above that. So to lose a pound a week I have to bring my calories down by approximately 200 calories a day. 1200 calories a day isn’t much so more than a pound a week weight loss is very difficult and can be demoralising when DH has steadily lost 2 pounds a week eating much more than me.

I don’t see why your DH has to have a biscuit with every cup of coffee to be honest. My DH was given similar advice but we researched a lot and went for the low carb healthy eating option. There was an excellent programme on BBC last night - The Truth About Carbs, there is some very interesting information on there. There is the equivalent of 19 cubes of sugar in a baked potato which I used to have with my evening meal thinking it was healthy.

I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life and been on many diets. I have lost a lot of weight on a meal replacement plan and a low carb high protein diet but they are not sustainable and played havoc with my digestion. The only answer for me is to cut out breakfast, limit my bread intake and eat mainly vegetables, lean meat or fish and two portions of fruit a day. I also have skimmed milk in my drinks and a couple of spoons of Greek yogurt with low sugar jelly to make me think I am having a dessert.

I did pull a face when my DH announced he had lost another two pounds this week and he said I should be happy for him which made me feel suitably guilty so I do know how you feel.

GabriellaG Thu 07-Jun-18 10:01:24

Cabbie21
There is a programme on iPlayer aboyt type 2 diabetes and about how, of the 6 people taking part 2 had type 2 diabetes which was 'cured' ( ie: they no longer have it thus no need for any meds)
It's worth watching.
Also on iplayer is Dr Xand van Tullken who used to be 19st, showing how there are white, beige and green carbs and how each affect your weight and gut, again, a worthwhile watch for anyone with gut or weight problems. A meduim baked potato (for instance) has an unbelievable 19 cubes worth of sugar in it.

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:03:41

Ive invested in one of those 'twist and spin' things that were recently on tv- superdrug now have them online too,bit cheaper than tv advert and free delivery- now ive had this 'kickstart' for weightloss im going to at least give it a try! And,much better,im still near the loo!

GabriellaG Thu 07-Jun-18 10:04:14

*about, Tulleken blush

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:21:25

Yes thanks jane 43,youve just reminded me to download that programme about the hidden sugars from last night- i saw a bit but was busy so it looked interesting,& ill see later- i too thought jacket spuds were 'healthy'-id had one for evening meal earlier on? -ive also ordered a 'portion' plate only £3 from matalan-and a dark blue plate(£3) as i read somewhere that eating from a blue plate suppresses appetite a bit for some reason-(something to do with signals/reactors in the brain or something)?And thank you cabbie2 ill look out for those iplayer suggestions.

Yorkshiregirl Thu 07-Jun-18 10:21:53

Slimmingworld is a very healthy way to lose weight. Its my way of life now. After chemotherapy and steroids which bloated me I have lost the stone and a half I put on during treatment.

I also have IBS, but can eat some fruits and most veg. I make a huge pot of vegetable soup which lasts several days. Lean meat or fish with lots of slad or veg.

You can still have a few treats such as biscuits, cake, alcohol or meals out on Slimmingworld

lollee Thu 07-Jun-18 10:23:53

Like other posters i have just received blood test results and defeated D2 without drugs, by dieting and exercise. 20lbs seems to be the magic loss as i can't seem to shift more. However I will never go back to sugar having cut out biscuits, sweets, chocolate, cake, desserts, sugar in tea/coffee etc. I do not worry about hidden sugar quite so much but try to stick to foods in the green and amber range.
I must admit that i do not understand people who, when presented with a health problem they can do something about, choose not to. As soon as i was told i had D2 i cleared out all my food cupboards and was determined to defeat it. It can lead to such serious complications and using drugs to control it just means increasing them year on year as your body gives up. There is a marvellous book by Dr Michael Mosley and he is often on tv.
Don't be envious of your husband. Walk the path together, keeping in mind that male/ female and all different bodies shed weight differently, make it into a competition or joint venture. After a day or two of no sugar you will want to continue, after 3 weeks you won't want to step back.

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:26:20

Sorry cabbie 21-tablet is too slow.Hope youve picked up lots of suggestions though,i know i have!let us know how you& your DH get on ☺

Nannan2 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:42:44

Yes cut out biscuits etc TOGETHER-its harder alone,i am cooking for my two youngest kids(teenage boys)one of whom has had to actually GAIN weight- so i cant just throw out ALL the treats or 'fatter' foods im afraid,so i either have to cook 2/3 different meals or try cut my intake on certain things back,but it was a real eye-opener to see the sugars in so-called 'healthy' foods! my elder son at 19 started going to gym regularly last year,so he started to 'eat clean' (less fat/sugars etc,a lot of fish,veg etc)so he has helped influence my choices a bit.But i do love cheese and the odd treat?

JaneD3 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:54:01

Try reading the new Atkins book - low carb is not new!

Aepgirl Thu 07-Jun-18 11:03:05

My ex-husband was diabetic so I also followed his eating regime. His cholesterol went down dramatically and mine shot up! He lost weight, I put it on. There is no justice.