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Terrified of Mammogram

(83 Posts)
gillybob Sat 18-Aug-18 11:29:19

Just as the title says really . I have an appointment for a mammogram on Monday morning . I’ve already cancelled 2 appointments, one because I genuinely couldn’t make it and the other because I was frightened to go.

I’ve had 2 previously and they were both absolute agony . The second one was so painful I couldn’t stop myself from crying and had to beg the radiographer to stop .

My mum had bone cancer ( among many other things bless her ) that spread from undiagnosed breast cancer so I know I should be thoroughly ashamed .

Has anyone got any advice they could share please ? I’m so frightened and worried about it .

BlueBelle Mon 20-Aug-18 11:20:59

Over by now all being well
Go and have a coffee or something stronger
Well done xx

Granny23 Mon 20-Aug-18 11:12:01

I've got fingers crossed for you too flowers

Squiffy Mon 20-Aug-18 10:44:56

Hope it all went better than you were expecting gilly.

Anniebach Mon 20-Aug-18 10:24:13

Soon be over gilly x

gillybob Mon 20-Aug-18 10:09:39

Well I’m sitting outside the clinic taking deep breaths. My tummy is doing somersaults and I’m plucking up the courage to get out of the car .

Appointment in less than 10 minutes so it’s now or never . ? Thank you again for your encouragement everyone x

Jobey68 Sun 19-Aug-18 15:07:21

I'm coming from a slightly different perspective as I've had breast cancer, I was 46 when diagnosed so had never had one before and was dreading it but I didn't find it painful just a bit squashy!
It actually didn't pick up my cancer, an ultrasound did so I'm not 100% convinced about them as a sole detection source but of course I have them regularly at my check ups and even post surgery and treatment I don't find them painful.

Don't fear what it may find, you really don't want an undetected cancer running rampage inside of you, my mum refused to have a mammogram and sadly she died from secondary breast cancer at 60.

Tell them you are anxious and they will be gentle with you, all the best! Xx

jacq10 Sun 19-Aug-18 14:49:51

Gillybob - do you have a good GP? If you explain how you feel and your family history, which he may know, he can give you a small prescription for Valium. My DD gets this to help her through something she fears and it just slightly relaxes her.

Auntieflo Sun 19-Aug-18 14:25:26

Gillybob, tomorrow then at 10.00 am, we GN's will all be sending prayers,and calming, positive thoughts to you. It will soon be over, and you can enjoy the rest of the day. {{{hugs}}}

MissAdventure Sun 19-Aug-18 13:06:22

My mum never had a smear test, as she believed it did more harm than good, "poking around in places".

Caledonai14 Sun 19-Aug-18 13:03:54

Checking is always a good thing ...whether or not you go for screening.

PamelaJ1 I apologise. I didn't mean the kind of pressure from a mother whose children have an increased risk factor.

I meant the kind of relentless pressure that is sometimes put on people from within families when the "refuser" has well thought-out and possibly historic reasons for their decision, and may even have discussed it with a GP, but does not want sisters/aunts etc ganging up on them.

There are two sides to every argument and exceptions to every rule. As we constantly learn here.

PamelaJ1 Sun 19-Aug-18 12:23:49

Oh dear I’m afraid I have to put my hand up. I really pressurised my DDs to go for mammograms.
They are in their 40s and my DH’s family (his sister) had the brca1 gene.
I do know that mammograms aren’t all that useful at that age but, I feel, if it makes them more aware of checking themselves then that’s a good thing.

Caledonai14 Sun 19-Aug-18 12:03:24

I just want to support what Baggs said. I, too, have read similar reports and I think some of them came because of the recent scare when some women did not get reminders to go for a mammogram. As in all things, informed choice is important and nobody should feel guilty or wimpish for declining an invitation for any scan, especially if they have researched and decided against (or had a particularly bad experience).

I especially don't like to see people pressurised by family members and I am glad to see the medical profession becoming more open and honest about risks and results.

Unlike innoculation, a screening programme like this does not have wider protection benefits for others (as in so-called herd immunity - a horrible term) so the choice and decision is entirely individual and I don't think it helps to make anybody feel forced or shamed either way. I love the positive support that is given here when people are brave enough to tell us how they really feel about something, and it is where Gransnet comes into its own, but we must respect that others may decide differently for themselves and keep the forum open for all points of view, especially surrounding medical matters which can change as time goes on.

henetha Sun 19-Aug-18 11:11:27

They are not my favourite things, either, -( although I don't actually have them any more now because of my age.)
Good suggestion by some above to take paracetamol before you go. And plan a little treat for when it's over.
Also, I think it's important to try and relax as you stand there while they fiddle with the machinery. To tense up only makes it worse. So take some deep breaths and try to relax.
I know it's not comfortable, but it's over in a very few minutes and is well worth it . Good luck.

Baggs Sun 19-Aug-18 09:18:52

Stuff I've read recently said self-examination is as effective as mammogram and that the mammogram scheme does not reduce breast cancer mortality. It was in papers as diverse as The Guardian and The Daily Mail.

I held back from saying this yesterday.

oldbatty Sun 19-Aug-18 09:16:31

yes, get it over with. From memory they dont say anything at the time and dont forget most of the time it is totally routine and uneventful.

Give yourself time for a coffee and cake before returning to work.

Anniebach Sun 19-Aug-18 09:14:26

gilly my love, it will soon pass, wish I could be with you, if you want I will give you my mobile number , we can chat whilst you wait x

gillybob Sun 19-Aug-18 09:03:37

Well, not sure what to say to be honest except thank you all a million times for honest and helpful comments.

I am now only one day away and feeling quite sick with worry about it.

I didn’t sleep very well last night (nothing new) despite the few glasses of wine I had in the hope of blocking it all out. It didn’t work of course and the dreaded mammogram was going round and round in my head.

To those who have had BC diagnosis I am truly, truly sorry (and ashamed) and I know that I am very fortunate to have this potentially life saving test available to me free of charge.

As I said in my OP my last experience was very painful and seemed to go on forever, I had to ask the radiographer to stop. My fear is that it will be the same again and I won’t be able to bear the pain.

Additionally I am terrified that they might actually find something. My mum was in her late 50’s when she was diagnosed with bone cancer in her shoulder that had come from previously undiagnosed breast cancer . Now I am imagining all sorts. Do they tell you if they have found anything “unusual” ? Or do you wait for a letter? I really can’t remember.

I don’t have anyone to go with me but my appointment is for just after 10 tomorrow morning so I will be going to work straight after, not exactly anything to look forward to but at least it will be over with by then.

Willow500 Sun 19-Aug-18 07:03:56

Oh gosh can really sympathise - I have nothing much up there and it always hurts, the arm around the top part is painful on my shoulders too but as everyone has said it lasts only a few minutes and is definitely worth the discomfort. Good luck flowers

harrigran Sat 18-Aug-18 23:51:03

I found that no two experiences, of mammograms, are the same. My last one was not painful, just standing with my arm up on the machine was more uncomfortable.

phoenix Sat 18-Aug-18 22:57:27

I'm always amazed at how the nice women doing it can actually find enough bosom flesh on me to do the procedure blush

But please Gillybob grit your teeth and do it, and think of how fortunate we are to have such things as mammograms and smear tests free of charge.

I remember when working with younger women, who would moan about smear tests, and in some cases not go. I must admit I did get on my high horse about it, and tell them how lucky they were to have such a service. I think the death of Jade Goody (remember her?) from cervical cancer, at a young age and leaving behind young children should have been a wake up call for them.

Sorry, Gillybob I digressed there, but still urge you to go, we are lucky to have this service and should use it.

Floradora9 Sat 18-Aug-18 21:57:04

I had cancer diagnosed thank to my mammogram . There was no lump or anything to feel so I would never have known until things got a lot worse .

SpringyChicken Sat 18-Aug-18 20:51:03

Breath out slowly to help to relax, quick breath in, slow breath out, like they teach in ante natal classes. It really helps.

oldbatty Sat 18-Aug-18 20:42:07

Yes , as others have said, tell the staff you are very nervous and tell them why. I think you have some choice about when you have your appointment so maybe have it early and get it over with.
Its 10 minutes of discomfort.

Grannyben Sat 18-Aug-18 20:29:53

I've only had 2 up to now and, I must say I found both very painful. I have quite a small chest so, I'm thinking, size really doesn't make much of a difference. On both occasions, as I've gone in, I've told the ladies how nervous I am and I tend to talk when I'm frightened. I then babble on about absolutely nothing until it's finished. The lovely ladies have never looked at me like I've lost the plot and I'm sure they don't mind what you do as long as it gets you through it. Please go.

Annapops Sat 18-Aug-18 18:07:21

My last mammogram, (I've had several now) was the most uncomfortable ever. It really nipped and hurt unlike any other making me think perhaps it was something to do with positioning. Maybe your last experience Gilly, was a little like mine and won't be repeated again. Be brave and go for it. No matter how uncomfortable, I would never miss one, especially since DIL breast cancer diagnosis earlier this year. Good luck to you. X