Poor you - it’s awful to have a phobia like this, and then to have agonising pain on top of it.
It sounds to me as tho’ you are just as afraid of your own reactions as you are of the actual dentistry, but remember you’re not alone. Dentist phobia is unbelievably common, and when I helped my dentist, who is a close friend, I would say that about a third of patients suffered crippling nerves!
Don’t worry, modern dentistry involves no pain and very little discomfort, and modern dental ‘beds’ are designed to cope with people having even severe disability.
Tell your dentist you are phobic, and ask them to go through your planned treatment - they are trained to put you at ease.
Step one, you will almost certainly have your mouth gently examined.
2. An X-ray will be taken.
3. With your permission, the dentist will administer a powerful local anaesthetic injection, after applying some numbing gel to your gum so that you won’t feel the needle.
This will get rid of your pain, which will help you to relax.
4. The dentist will gently open the tooth with a water cooled drill. Fast and noisy, but painless. A tiny suction device is used to remove moisture and saliva so that you remain comfortable.
The inflamed and infected tissues will be cleaned and a dressing applied under a temporary filling.
After this, you can go home pain-free, but will have to go back to complete the treatment..
This may mean extraction if the tooth is beyond saving, or further cleaning and a root filling, which despite urban legend is not painful. It is a bit tedious and time consuming, tho’ - so listen to some music!
That’s a basic run through of standard treatment for an infected tooth and abscess.
Just be aware that a good dentist knows what they’re doing, and all you need to do is lie back and relax. Pain won’t be a problem, I promise you, but dentists sometimes recommend a sedative if needed.
In my experience, few people needed sedation once they were fully aware of what was going on, and once they had been reassured that the dentist would stop immediately if they needed to spit, swallow or take a breather.
Best wishes for an easy and speedy treatment and a full recovery. 