Deafness impact

The saga goes on. When they examined his ears at Specsavers, they said his ears are impacted with wax and this could be done by them at a cost of £35 per ear or £50 for both ears. They also advised that trying to clean his ears with cotton wool buds has only pushed the wax further into his ears and it has impacted them. (He cannot get his ears wet due to having a replacement eardrum fitted some years ago.) They said the GP could do it.
I rang our GP's surgery and they don't do it and suggested he went to Specsavers and when I rang them again, there is a month's waiting list.

My concern now is as much for people who can ill afford to pay to have the ear wax removed at Specsavers

Specsavers in many areas are agents for the NHS. You get your GP to endorse the need for them, then the surgery make you an appointment (in my case barely a week later) and bingo! - you can hear!

He needs to ask the person at Specsavers to supply them on the NHS.

I really feel for you dollyjo. Like a couple of other posters have said, my OH is also very hard of hearing and he will not do anything about it. He accuses me of mumbling; turning my head away when I'm speaking, so that he can't hear me and even deliberately speaking quietly so that he can't hear me! It's such hard work to communicate with him. But there are lighter moments.... sometimes the things that he thinks I've said, are nothing like what I've actually said and when he repeats them back to me, I'm just !

NHS hearing aids are free. They are not uncomfortable, they are not ineffective, they are not ugly, they are not old-fashioned. They are high tech blessings for all of us with hearing loss.

I confess to getting mildly irritated when people make such a fuss about them. Just go get them and bung them in. And rejoice in the birdsong.

I have worn glasses since a small child and they too are a blessing. I never felt irritated by them - I could see the leaves on the trees - hooray!

I'm so pleased, he actually kept the appointment at Specsavers and so things are really looking up now.
We know NHS ones are free but he has been waiting 2.5 weeks for an appointment and he can see someone at Specsavers immediately.

NHS hearing aids are free!!

Is it literally down to the cost?
Imagine shutting down one of the most important things in life, just because it will cost a small amount to get it back..

I thank you all for letting me off-load on here. I can't tell my friends and family as I feel like I am moaning. So here goes.
My husband wearing his hearing aids lasted all of 2 weeks.
He told me he would make an appointment at Specsavers to arrange digital ones - he never did. He told me he had rung for an appointment at the hospital and was awaiting a reply. After 2 weeks, I don't believe him. Then yesterday, he stopped wearing them altogether and said they hurt..the batteries had worn out etc. I was back to running around finding him, speaking on the phone for him and so on.
So I began the notebook again but told him I had to think about my own well-being and he left me with few choices if he put the cost of hearing aids as being more important than my well-being.
No communication at all followed and then this afternoon, within my earshot, he telephoned Specsavers (wearing his hearing aids) and he has made an appointment for Saturday. He even invited me to go along with him.
Hooray...that is unless he changes his mind and cancels the appointment.
It is all so depressing because he is good in every other way. He just doesn't like spending money.

He's just being silly. Stop talking to him and chasing round after him - let him stew a bit! Write him the occasional note when you are feeling generous!

Why should you chase round after him when he has the cure in front of him?

I recognise the birdsong thing - I was blown away with it when I got my aids.

Someone said they are uncomfortable - they are not - I forget I have them in, so much so that I have been known to go in the shower with them in - oops!

There are some situations where I switch one or both off - e.g. at choral society when the noise of the rustling pages is echoing in the high hall - and there are times when it is useful to switch them off - e.g. on a long car journey to cut out the road noise; or when the GC are being particularly noisy!!

I have worn 2 hearing aids for a number of years. The latest ones (NHS) are digital and very discreet. A friend who paid for hers has exactly the same aids that I have. It may be that if aids are uncomfortable a different size tube/ in ear part may be needed. The audiologist at my local hospital is very patient and prepared to try everything he can to make my aids more comfortable.

I don't think its harsh.
By not being able to hear you, your husband is in effect opting out of communicating with you.
I do hope he goes to sort out some digital aids.

Things came to a head on the last day of our holiday. We were in the Lavender Gardens, Norfolk and went for a bite to eat. All was peaceful and lovely. I brought the tea and scones back and out of the blue, it all turned sour. He accidentally knocked his tiny pot of jam over and I managed to catch it before it fell. The next thing, he started shouting at me out of frustration, I think. "Stop telling me what to do." etc.,
People around were staring at us as if we were at war and so I walked away and went and treated myself to a very expensive table lamp!
The holiday had been really good, we both enjoyed it and Old Hunstanton was so peaceful. We packed up and came home in silence apart from him taking my hand and saying, "I'm sorry for shouting at you." I could have cried but I knew it would stay the same if I let him get away with it again so I just said, "Please wear your hearing aids."
When we arrived home, I started a book for messages.
Day 1 - I left a message for him as he had had a phone call, He tore the page out of the book.
I wrote another page telling him of the impact his deafness is having on us. I think this shocked him and he wrote a message saying his hearing aids hurt him and he is gong to Specsavers to see about digital ones.
Yesterday, he wore his hearing aids but I am not giving in again because if I do, he will just stop wearing them because I understand that he doesn't want to wear them if they hurt. I don't know if he has made an appointment to see about digital hearing aids.
Am I being too hard on him, I ask myself? he is a good man and life could be so different.
To finish on a happier note. When I get upset like this I spend!!! I have just ordered a eBike for myself - not bad for a 76years old! A holiday in Norfolk, a lovely table lamp and and an eBike all in one week,

This makes me so sad that my mums life became so difficult (more than it already was!) because she simply couldn't hear.
She wouldn't hear the phone, and I would end up having to beg my work to let me go and check she was ok.
She couldn't keep up with what was happening with my daughter: the absolute apple of her eye!
She couldn't hear what was said to her in hospital, so was seen as someone with dementia, more often than not.

"He also says things like- i just had a phone call from the corner shop asking if you can change the channel on the TV as they don't like what you are watching, - this is his way of referring to the level of the volume on TV!!! lol smile"
That made me laugh travelsafar .

Ha ha.
I've considered that in the past but realized that we all have a cross to bear and my life is pretty good compared wth many others.
I was just wanting to know what solutions others had tried and if they worked

Seaside22 and travel so far, you have both expressed exactly how I am with hearing aids. Mine are private from Scrivens and have been back many times, another one with narrow ear canals, don’t wear them at home but do if socialising. If your husband will not accept he needs help Dollyjo, not a lot you can d o apart from leaving him or shouting right into his ear that you are leaving.

Thank you for your replies,many of which have helped me to realize I am not alone with this problem. It may be isolating for my husband but it is equally isolating for me. We are on holiday at the moment and if I attempt to speak to DH, his stock answer is "what did you say" followed by him shouting at me with " I can't hear you. So I have to repeat into my shell and silence.
Hillwalker70-I have spent years being sympathetic and making excuses for him when he looks aloof because he can't hear. It hurts me when friends laugh at him because he has misheard a word.
If I saw someone with a walking disability I would be sympathetic but not if they refused treatment.
So where do I go from here? After reading your messages, I'm worried about dementia and so when I get home, I am going to refuse to take messages for him, if someone calls I will tell them where I think he is and they can find him.I'm going to start a 'messages ' book and write everything down in there. If he doesn't read it- tough!
We have been 'happily' married for 40 years-or so I thought. This holiday has shown me how isolated we have both become. When I am at home, I have friends and family around wth whom I have conversations. This isolation has to stop for both of our sakes.

I have had a hearing test a while ago and have been told hearing is within normal limits. However I've also been told I have smaller than usual openings to my ears and as I make excessive amounts of ear wax I find my hearing goes down substantially several times a year and whilst I am waiting for ear syringing I can hardly hear then so have much sympathy if this is how the world sounds all the time. I really struggle especially as I have to listen a lot with my job. When I come out of the surgery after my springing it feels as if the world has been turned up and it's such a relief. Does anyone else have to deal with this temporary deafness?

I wear two hearing aids and wouldn't be without them especially when out and about although the backgroud noise if really loud can block out what someone is saying.
I find myself adjusting them constantly to suit the situation that i am in.
I seldom wear them at home though as i love to retreat into my muffled world where sound is reduced and i can switch off to a degree.
My DH does pass comments sometime about my lack of hearing him clearly and we can have some funny conversations at times.
He also says things like- i just had a phone call from the corner shop asking if you can change the channel on the TV as they don't like what you are watching, - this is his way of referring to the level of the volume on TV!!! lol
I never watch tv without the subs as even with aids in i can't always understand what is being said due to diction of actors and their accents.

Dh has NHS aids and has been very satisfied since he went back.

A friend had in ear ones and reverted to his NHS ones.

I have been given NHS hearing aids.I can't get on with them at all, speech still isn't clear, and outside noises are so loud they make me jump.I've been back more times than I can remember, but given up now, feel sorry for my husband though, he's finding it difficult.I'm thinking of going private, to try in ear aids.Has anyone got these ?

We used to have wonderfully surreal conversations with Granny (MIL) who was very deaf and would go off at a tangent because she had misheard a word.
The DDs adored her but used to tease too. I remember when one was given a cocktail shaker for Christmas and was reading out cocktail recipes. She said “Oh, this ones called Sex on the Beach, Granny, Would you like that? “
“Sounds very nice, dear” came the reply!

I find living with someone who is fairly deaf very difficult at times. The worst thing is the lack of acceptance of his difficulty. He doesn't seem to modify his behaviour at all and then gets irritated with me if I don't hear things. My voice is not strong and having to speak loudly and clearly all the time is an effort.
Eating out is a nightmare because I have to shout above the level of noise so he can hear me.
I tell myself it's a disability like any other and to make adjustments.

Modern hearing aid batteries don't go flat. They die immediately.

A relative of mine has told me that hearing aids are very uncomfortable and magnify sounds that you don't want to hear (outside in the street for instance) but don't always help you to hear people speaking to you.

I don't know if this is right but I have heard more than one person say what I've written above.