Deafness impact

Perhaps tell him you can’t keep chasing around to look for him , but will write messages down & leave in a specific place & will leave it up to him to check the messages several times a day.
Good luck , it must be very difficult, but you have done all you can for the moment, he needs to meet you half way .?

You have my sympathy too! Dh refused to wear his hearing aids for years but I nagged incessantly gently suggested he went back for a reassessment.

The difference is amazing. He has been back for one adjustment where it was found the bits that go in his ears were too big and causing buzzing. He wears them all the time now and life is much less stressful - for both of us!!

I think the key really is perseverance.

I was forever being accused of mumbling but when DH finally gave in and had his first hearing aid he too admitted that he had not heard birdsong for years and had not realised what he was missing.
I do wonder why we (most of us) all are perfectly willing to accept poorer eyesight and to wear glasses than hearing and hearing aids. It’s as if it is an admission of defeat or that someone is to blame.
I suppose it might be early memories of those awful old hearing aids our grandparents perhaps wore and the fact that modern ones are so inconspicuous that we do not see them on others.
Somehow we need to change that image and poor dollyjo’s DH needs to be persuaded to go back for both their sakes!

I have had hearing aids for a few years now and can remember the revelation of birdsong the first time I wore them. I swear them in social situations but not when I am alone at home because I find the irritating and itchy, getting worse as the day goes on.

Wear them not swear them !

I need to go for a hearing check, but can't be bothered. so many other medical things to see too.
But I think it's important, because my guess is that hearing loss can lead to dementia etc. Cuts you off from the world.
That's what happened to our dear old border collie .

ps Maw I accuse husband of mumbling. But he really does!

there is a link between deafness and dementia (or so I read) but it can also lead to social isolation which is not good.

dollyjo my DH is like *Kittylester's DH and has had to go back many times and probably wouldnt have if I hadn't showed my exasperation on several occasions!!! He may also need syringing/drops whatever to clean the ears first. Good Luck with it - drives you up the wall doesn't it.

As a wearer of hearing aids I have some sympathy with your husband. Indeed I can hear birdsong but also any high pitched sounds just go right through me and end up with vertigo attack. I have taken aids back and had them checked but all is correct, I much prefer my quiet world, the aids highlight everything, applause is ghastly, children screaming and musical instruments all much too loud and ear splitting. You would have patience with someone with walking difficulties why not with deafness?

Like others, my DH was fitted with hearing aids while he was working, then decided he didn’t like them, so never wore them again. I think he found them obtrusive. His hearing is shocking and I have to repeat just about everything I say to him at least twice. I have tried to persuade him to have a look at these new discreet hearing aids, but he is adamant he is not going to do anything about his hearing because he doesn’t have a problem. In fact, the last time I mentioned it, he warned me not to bring it up again. The link with dementia is worrying.

I wonder whether the link with dementia is in fact the other way around, and that because the person can't hear they're thought to not understand or be able to answer questions?

I really sympathise with people who say hearing aids are uncomfortable, and my own hearing has not yet deteriorated that much, but I remeber how hard it was with my mother, who either chose not to wear aids or had lost/broken them; it was impossible to have a subtle conversation with her as everything had to be at high volume.

My mum refused to accept that her hearing wasn't so good, and insisted it was me mumbling.
In the end, I often started to tell her something and just gave up, as it was such hard work having to shout..

But it’s not always volume that is needed, but clarity. Even with aids I cannot always understand as people do not speak clearly or distinctly and people gabble, radio and television presenters are particularly bad, as are nasty high pitched woman’s voices. I think some of you who complain about your partners should try wearing their hearing aids for a day and see how you like the amplification in your ears.

Is it not possible to adjust the volume on aids if it's too loud?

Indeed it is humpty, there are times I envy Mr C’s ability to turn the world down.

greyd I’m sorry your husband wouldn’t consider a return visit to audiology. Recently Mr C went for a checkup and hid aids fairly unobtrusive have been replaced by tiny ear pieces he says he doesn’t feel.

Not perfect hearing of course, still some issues but so much better than the difficulties we had pre hearing aids.

My DH got hearing aids earlier this year which is great. I don't have to keep repeating things.

They are grey coloured to match his (good head of) hair and very discreet. Quite difficult to notice that he's wearing them.

The other morning he told me that he'd lost one of his hearing aids. We looked on his bedside cabinet, in the drawers, under the bed, in the bed, then I noticed he'd got two in one ear!

Varian

My DH's first reaction was a slightly different take on birdsong: "What a bloody racket those birds are making".
It sums up his attitude to most things that I love, nowadays, really!

I seem to have to repeat things more and more for both my OH and my Dad. Dad does wear hearing aids but often has them turned down or battery going flat.
My son and myself can have a conversation 10 foot away from OH and he won't hear what we are saying and the number of times I get "what did he say?.." arghhhh!!

A relative of mine has told me that hearing aids are very uncomfortable and magnify sounds that you don't want to hear (outside in the street for instance) but don't always help you to hear people speaking to you.

I don't know if this is right but I have heard more than one person say what I've written above.

Modern hearing aid batteries don't go flat. They die immediately.

I find living with someone who is fairly deaf very difficult at times. The worst thing is the lack of acceptance of his difficulty. He doesn't seem to modify his behaviour at all and then gets irritated with me if I don't hear things. My voice is not strong and having to speak loudly and clearly all the time is an effort.
Eating out is a nightmare because I have to shout above the level of noise so he can hear me.
I tell myself it's a disability like any other and to make adjustments.

We used to have wonderfully surreal conversations with Granny (MIL) who was very deaf and would go off at a tangent because she had misheard a word.
The DDs adored her but used to tease too. I remember when one was given a cocktail shaker for Christmas and was reading out cocktail recipes. She said “Oh, this ones called Sex on the Beach, Granny, Would you like that? “
“Sounds very nice, dear” came the reply!