The Black Dog Gang

Hello hope its ok to join.

I have had anxiety and depression for about two decades and have been on low dose ads for most of that time.

I'm on one of the old tricyclic anti depressants (25mg) and Im sure its affecting my memory etc but I'm very worried about trying to come off it because when I've tried in the past (even very very slowly) I've had severe withdrawal and gone quickly downhill.

Generally for a lot of the time I've been ok on the medication (got a busy job - look after family etc.) but im not sure they are really meant to be taken for so long !

Good to chat to you all.

I'm in too, please. The mornings are the worst. Can't think of a single reason to get up and yet the thoughts that haunt me if I don't make me wonder if I'll get through another day. By the evening I feel quite 'normal' again and think the worst is over. Til the next morning ...

I'm ok just want to give you all a virtual hug and hope forum helps ?

I am definitely part of this group. My black dog days don’t happen too often, but when they do - BAM - it knocks me sideways. I suppose I am lucky because I know it will pass, and eventually it does. My heart goes out to all who struggle with depression.

Count me in - I usually manage my depression but this last few weeks I feel I want to burst into tears all the time. I don't let people know and find the "putting on a happy face" really exhausting

Thank you, to everyone who understands what it is like. Sometimes it just comes out of the blue, I don't know what sets it off but I must just cope until I see the other side and can come out. The nights are the worst, I sleep badly and sometimes I would like to get out of the house in the middle of the night and just walk and walk. But I know this would be stupid and worry poor DH. I did have some medication some while ago but it made me feel worse and I think it is better to just see it out. I know it will pass and just knowing others can feel the same is a great help. Thank you to everyone.

Count me in too. I've suffered from depression for many years as part of fibromyalgia. I can't take any medication for it as the appropriate pills lowered my white blood cell count to dangerous levels, which is obviously not good. So I see a wonderful homeopath who has helped me no end. It doesn't get rid of the depression (can't call it the black dog because our new puppy is all black!!!) but she is on board for the bad spells and alters my pills to suit. It's good that we can all talk about it here and not feel we have to either hide away from it, or with it.

Another sufferer here,I've had depression since childhood though not diagnosed till my early twenties.Over the years I've been described many different anti-depressants,with varying degrees of success.Currently on Duloxetine,which my mental health specialist prescribed because it also helps with arthritic pain.After some adjustments of dosage,it does seem to suit me.There are still bad days and good but the balance is tolerable.
I've also had CBT and counselling,neither of which really helped.
I have been in the depths of despair,contemplated suicide many times and have had to take large chunks of time off work in the past.
One thing I must add-I do hate the expression "black dog."To me,a dog is to be loved and welcomed-indeed a few dogs (of all different colours!) have helped me through my worst times.I have always thought of my depression as a blanket of fog which comes down and stifles me,renders me lost and unable to move forward.
Hope people feel that they can talk about anything here,we really do understand how it feels whereas often,our families and friends just cannot.

Can I be in the gang too please? I was diagnosed with CD ten years ago although I had had a lot of panic attacks prior to that. I have been on Paroxetine since then and really would like to wean off these but the health and well being of my elderly parents is taking it’s toll so I need the support now. Meds made me feel much better for a long time but have been feeling very low over last 6 months. It would be good to share. Thanks

I’m in too. I’ve recently started taking sertraline but don’t feel any better yet.

I’m in, I have anxiety and depression, mostly well controlled by medication, but sometimes that black dog just moves in

I’m in oldbatty. Not on medication but trying (with varying degrees of success) to get my mind around it with mantras / positivity/ writing thoughts etc. Night time catastrophizing is my worst problem - anxiety & utter helplessness and distrust of the future can engulf me without warning.

Can I ask if medication has helped in general? Sorry if stupid question, but I have blundered on by myself, pretending that everything is ok, feeling guilty because I really don't have anything to be depressed about ( I know, i know).......I ache all over, wake up stiff and bent over, my knees don't work ( not arthritis, more a muscular/hydraulics type problem). Fed up with feeling like this, but don't know what to say to GP. Don't even know GP as 'never ill'.

What a great idea. It will be good to chat to people who understand. So fed up with people who just don’t understand

GillT57 medication has made all the difference to me plus I took up meditation

Medication has helped me too.
If I'm lax about taking it, I can feel what someone described as 'a fog' beginning to envelope me.

I’m in please. 20 years with diagnosis of depression and anxiety. Three hospital admissions over the years. Two courses of ECT. Tried loads of medication cocktails. Finally settled on phenelzine.. A very old medication rarely used today. But it seems to help me. Had a CPN who I saw weekly for 5 years. But services cut, so not seeing anyone at the moment. Had two long courses of CBT. Last year I was offered CAT cognitive analytic therapy, which I found much more useful for me.

Please can I join? I’ve been on antidepressants since I went through the menopause, about 20 years ago now. As long as I take a 150 mg dose every day I’m fine but as soon as I try to cut it down, then all the old black dog feelings return with a vengeance. Fortunately I have a very supportive GP who monitors me regular, and is very happy to keep prescribing the pills for as long as necessary.

Hi I'd like to join, not been on medication for years but suffer badly in Autumn and Winter which are partly associated with why it all started. Medication can be brilliant had good results myself, I try other coping methods now.

May I join you, I’m struggling badly and can’t seem to stop crying.

I would like to join please, I have been living with anxiety and depression since I was a little girl, I am nearly 64 now, its like being on a roller coaster.

Please can I be in . Just read Hooty Mcowlface post and I just wanted to send you a hug Hooty . We are all here for you .

Oh, all these people.......it does help to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I feel guilty about feeling bad when there are so many worse off than me, people with terrible problems. I shall start by making an appt with whoever is at the GP surgery these days, although that can be a hassle in itself.

I am probably talking out of the back of my head here so I apologise but two things have occurred to me.
1) Old Batty ,you say it is a rotten,lonely thing but since lots of people have posted comments to say they are feeling like you are means you are not alone.
I think that must help
2) However bad your day has been is there are chance you can sit down for 5minutes and think back over the day to find one good thing that has happened and write it down.
It may be something very trivial?
I make myself do this every day .For example I have written down things like
Spotted three little blue tits near the house.
At long last we have had rain today.
Enjoyed today's episode of Homefront on radio4.
It may not help at all .
I have been doing this since January 2015 on the day when for the second time in less than a month somebody banged into our car in a Supermarket Car park.
I bet the good thing that has happened to you is that you know there are others in the same boat as you are and their support can only help you.

b1zzle
That is typical of clinical depression - worse in the mornings and gradually improving so you feel (almost) human in the evenings. I am so grateful not to have to go to work, I don't think I could do it now.