Xmas Sadness

Brendaj So sorry that you've spent Christmas alone. Is there a charity in your area where you can volunteer to help serve Christmas lunch to the homeless? (Or something like that.)
OK, that may not sound like an attractive alternative to spending Christmas on your own. But I wouldn't mind betting that it would bring a lot of joy to you.
If you're not able to do this, physically, or for some other reason, look around for other charities who are looking for help over the Christmas period, to which you could contribute.
Don't be sad. Search around for something to get you out and about, and meeting other people. (You could join your local church?)

I Hate Christmas.it just brings back to many painful memories of people that I no longer here.I have spent the last three Christmases on my own which I hate. makes me feel really down.

Witzend - Yes, me too. It started for me long ago at my first school as a teacher. We were all excitedly decorating and planning then we had a concert. The reception children began to sing Away in a Manger and, to my surprise, I welled up. Nowadays Salvation Army brass bands can also bring a tear.

The Christmas after DM died I was miserably drooping around when DD shook me out of it. She pointed out that her late GM loved Christmas and certainly wouldn't have wanted us to remember her by being sad about it. Suddenly I was out looking for holly and other traditional non-essentials and we did all the things we'd always done at Christmas. We remembered previous Christmases with joy instead of sorrow.

Nothing harsh about it at all. I remember all my family no longer with us a lot of the time. We were discussing some memories of Christmas today, which involved my mother and sister, both deceased. There was nothing sad about any of those memories.

My sister died on Easter Sunday, we always remember her date of death as Easter rather than a specific date. Of course for a few years after, Easter was overhung by what happened Easter last year, 2 years ago, 3 years ago, but by about 5 years while always remembering her at Easter, it no longer acted as a damper to our spirits. We remembered the happy things and pushed the horror of the one day in a lifetime of Easters to the back of our minds.

Abit harsh Monica I feel sad for family who have gone before yes we all die obviously but the memories you have become precious.more so at Christmas. It's nice to remember good times past.

I’d enjoy Christmas if the shops would just STOP playing loud Christmas tunes on repeat for the whole season. It makes me want to avoid actual shopping so I shop online,with the exception of the supermarket which can’t be avoided.

I do love traditional carols, too, they can make me a bit teary when sung beautifully. Also love the Sally Army brass bands. However I really don't like trad. ones set to non trad tunes.
Once went to a big carol singalong in a cathedral with friends - they were all either non traditional, or else trad. ones sung to non trad tunes. So disappointing! The very last one was The Holly and the Ivy, so I was really hoping that would be with the 'right' tune, but no, not even that.

I can guarantee I'll be groping for the tissues during Gdd's pre school Nativity play. She's only 3, and a lot of very little ones singing Away In A Manger is quite enough to set me off.

I don’t decorate, don’t watch tv , don’t put cards up, don’t shop. Just get through the day.

Lyndiloo 'Xmas' is not as bad as people believe, there is a reason for this spelling, see Wikipedia Xmas. Usually I do spell it Christmas but in this thread I didn't and I have had people telling me off...

I love Christmas! But it's not without its downsides, for me. When I was younger, I used to 'Springclean' the house for Christmas. Everything was done, and the house was absolutely spotless throughout. Last job - scrubbing the kitchen floor on Christmas Eve, before the onslaught of guests arriving on Christmas Day. (Sometimes to stay over until New Year.) Such a lot of work for me - I was often exhausted!
I can't manage all that work now - and it hurts me that I can't. (Silly, I know.) I do my best. But now there isn't an 'onslaught' any more. My sister and brother-in-law have died, my brother has moved to Spain ...
I still 'do' Christmas Day for my children and grandchildren. But I miss a full house over the Christmas period (even though I know I couldn't cope with it now).
So, for me, Christmas is tinged with sadness for what once was.
I still love it, though. And yes I cry when walking through town and hearing the Salvation Army Band playing carols. Yes! Still go to Midnight Mass, and am moved at the mystique of it all.
The only thing I loathe is people writing 'X' where 'Christ' should be!

I'm not recently bereaved,both parents died more than 10 years ago.Many friends have died and I miss them all. Especially at Christmas.
I still have children and grandchildren and a husband,so try to remember it's special for them.I do my best to put on a good show.

Sorry, notanan that I misunderstood your meaning.

Bluesky I always cry at christmas carols,don`t know why,in particular Once in Royal David City i cry at the christmas song by John Lennon So this is Christmas

I dont mean stuff
I mean that at Christmas time people really quantify and prioritise and express who matters most to them... there are winners and losers in that. Its just not an issue at Halloween, I think that contributes to the rise in popularity of it.

I'm not sure that it is nowadays, notanan, what with all the commercialism encouraging people to buy outfits to dress up in, foods and sweets to buy with a Halloween theme, parties to go to or give. This in itself can create competition and a feeling of "have to do". It's so American, as is some aspects of Christmas now. I'm afraid commercialism spoils so much of the true meaning of our festivals.

I agree that there is a melancholy to Christmas, even if life is good.

Its a funny old time.

I think this is why a lot of people prefer to embrace halloween and cut back on Christmas...

Christmas has an element of quantifying what you have/don't have. Both materialistic and things of the heart. If you have a lot theres an element of guilt (see people who overrun refuges with stuff they cant store at christmas then forget them the rest of the year). If you have less it is heightened.

Halloween is more of a leveller..

Love it all but don't indulge in any sort of frenzy.

I really hate Christmas not the religious bit but just the non stop music in shops and everybody assuming you are having a lovely time . It is full of regrets for me no happy childhood memories a few good ones maybe when the children were young and they took their best present to church to show everyone. We just look forward to the first of January when I can listen to Classic FM without risking Christmas music .

Sluttygran, I have attended a pagan festival to welcome spring, what happens at a Yule festival?

I’m not a Christian, and prefer the old religion of paganism where Yuletide celebrates the ‘turn’ of the year towards lighter days and warmer weather.
I can’t do with all the commercialism and plastic rubbish, but I fill my home with beautiful greenery and enjoy nice food with my family and anyone else who is around.
I do buy presents for the children, tho’. I try to get keepsake gifts rather than toys if I can, carved wooden boxes were popular last year, haven’t thought of anything for this year yet.
Anyway, if you hate Christmas, try having a ‘Cool Yule’!

I don’t DO Christmas, and haven’t since my late mother died, not a decoration in sight in my home, I take my gifts to the grandchildren and that is it.

Dontaskme - this automatic spell checking can drive you to distraction sometimes can't it? I always have to double check when I put my postcode in, otherwise it turns it into an (unpronouncable) word!

After my husband died I felt I coped very well. However, the first Christmas after he died I just cried when I heard Christmas songs as he loved Christmas. I would be going round the supermarket for food or other shops for Christmas presents with tears pouring down my face. It took 5 o 6 years before this stopped.
This is quite separate from liking Christmas or not.

BlueSky, Christmas is not the jolly, holly time for many . It can be a very lonely/ sad time , but with the hype in the lead up , those of us who for whatever reason do not feel happy - jolly, we feel we should be.

It is two days in a year, the TV companies think it’s two weeks . X