the big c

brenda sending positive thoughts to you and echoing what Maw says. Call and chat, send a card or letter to say you are thinking about them. Look out an old photo and send it with a message. Please don’t do nothing.

Well said Mawbroon
My husband died of cancer when I was thirty And I had three small children under the ages of 7. I learnt that there is a positive and negative side to everything . So try and see the positive side. Brendaj your sister has had a lot of good years with her husband so talk to her about the good memories. Hope this is not too harsh

There are three threads MawBroon Chat, Health and bereavement, Brenda it is always sad but they have had fifty good years together which is no mean feat and more than many and the gentleman has a two year prognosis two years to settle his affairs make sure he tells everyone of his love and two years to perhaps do a few things together, write letters or make videos to those he loves he still has time Rejoice in that Think how many wake up to a bright day never knowing it’s their last
Support your sister not with negativity and sadness but positivity, after all every day you wake up is a bonus

This is what I said on the other thread.

You can say how sorry you are to hear of his illness and remind them that you are always there to help or support in any way.
But please can we stop talking of “ the big c” in hushed tones as if it is something we can only fear.
Many many people live with cancer, some die with but not of cancer , many people are cured of cancer, some are not In fact I believe heart disease is still a bigger “ killer”. There are other terminal diseases and other debilitating diseases which if not directly life threatening in the short term are life limiting in the longer term. There are illnesses like dementia which will not only affect the “patient” but the whole family.
So we need to face down our devils, name our fears and then learn to cope with the reality.
Forgive me if this is blunt, but also a 2 year prognosis has to be a vague approximation. Everybody is different, it may depend on his age, whether the diagnosis was early or late, his general health and the care and treatment he receives.
So don’t see this as a death sentence postponed for two years. There is no avoiding his illness, but there is still a lot of life to be lived.

We seem to have two thread on this, can they be combined?

Sorry to hear this. Just be there for her to talk to, whether it be by phone or whatever. My DH has cancer, albeit in remission, and support of family and friends was a Godsend. A friend's husband has recently died of cancer. I have no idea what to say to her but I try.