Anxiety

What a bummer aella. Having suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a child, I know where you're coming from! I'm in Canada so I'm not sure what's available in your country, but there must be a helpline you can call to start with? I think they are going to say get to your doctor asap. You don't have to deal with this alone!
Virtual Hugs to you.

aella do you live on your own? I think you need to talk to a doctor about your anxieties as it is obviously affecting your quality of life.

Aella, Sorry you are suffering in this way. You could try requesting a telephone appointment with your doctor to discuss your condition. There are courses that might help you. Don't suffer alone.
Good luck.

You have made a start by talking to us on here, well done. I am sure we will all give you the same advice, talk to your doctor. If that is too hard start by calling 111, the NHS help line, they should be able to give you some good advice. Just take it one step at a time as you have probably taken a long time to get to this state. You can do it, one baby step at a time.

Thank you for your messages of support. I know I should go to the doctor but I have a fear of them. I deep and intensive fear. I think that my husband knows I'm not feeling good when I reach for the Rescue Remedy spray

Does your surgery have a room set by for those who need to see a nurse regarding various issues ? Like a walk-in centre.

Take heart, it is incredibly common and there is help out there.

Poor you, aella. You mention family - do they live nearby? Do they visit? Do you have neighbours? Sorry you have a painful back - that’s quite wearing, isn’t it? Do you see the doctor re your back at all? I’m asking a lot of questions, aren’t I, ha ha. Keep posting on GN - there are some kind and helpful folks - and you’ll see you’re not alone.

I do see quite a bit of our family. I'm like an actor when they are here and that's a bit wearing. I went to the hospital two years ago and have Athritis of the spine. That experience was the start of the anxiety worsening and I haven't seen anyone about it since. Thank you for asking

I’m sorry you have to put on a front when your family are there - do you think they would not be sympathetic? Do you have any medication for the arthritis? After 2 years it would probably be good to have it looked at again / x-rayed? Is there a reason why you are fearful of doctors? - did you have a bad experience once?

That's awful for you. I know what anxiety and depression are like, having suffered from both conditions for many years. You CAN feel better if you got some treatment. I'm on antidepressants (I have been on them for years, but 2 weeks ago began a new type and feel very much better already). Please try to see a doctor - if you felt unable to speak freely, you could write it down and pass the note to the GP. I did that.

You are missing life. Things are passing you by, and that's a real shame. Your lonely life could be so different x

Perhaps an few sessions with an accredited counsellor would be a good starting point, your Drs surgery or local council should have contact details, or have a look on line. A chat with your GP would also help to establish what would be of most benefit to you, especially regarding sleeping & eating. You have already made a very positive step by starting this thread, of which many of us GNs will relate to, best wishes. you can move on from this.

Are there any friends or family members you could speak to? Maybe someone could accompany you to the doctor.
It sounds as if you are suffering in silence.
2 years too long IMO.

Yes you need to let people know you are in difficulties aella is there one family member you could confide in and ask for support? Maybe they could go to a Drs appointment with you. You have taken the first step by posting on GN now take the next steps and get your life back. Good luck.

If you do not feel able to go to the doctor at this stage there are CBT courses that you can do online - maybe that might be a start.

Does your OH understand how acute this all is for you?

How are you today aella ? Have you had any ideas of what you might do, having posted here and been given some ideas? Would your husband take you to the doctor?
Don’t miss your life xx

Please get help ASAP so you can enjoy your life to the full. Life is too short to waste ?

Please try and find a way to talk to ask your surgery if you can self-refer to a local counsellor. You desperately need help, my friend, just like I did three months ago when, like you I was absolutely paralysed by fear depression and doubt. It pulls you through, my love. If you feel unable to go out of the house, it is quite possible you could be bordering on agoraphobic - in which case they might very well come out to you. Please try, and in the meantime, I wish you peace, joy and love.

Anxiety can be terrifying. I have always been an anxious person due to an awful childhood and subsequent life events.
Earlier this year it came to a head and I found myself in the GP's surgery a quivering, tearful wreck. She took my blood pressure and it was through the roof (I have been on medication for years and it's always fine). She didn't seem too concerned but I then went home thinking I was going to have a stroke or heart attack, which added to my fears. I have now developed a fear of having my BP taken. I too was dreading getting up in the morning, scared to go out etc in case 'something happened'. As I said on the Black Dog thread, another GP said he didn't believe in handing out medication. Fortunately the last couple of weeks I have felt a bit better. I am still not out of the woods but hoping to be able to cope a bit better. I hope you can find some help aella

aella I'm sorry that you are feeling so anxious. Would it be possible for you to confide in your Dh or Dc maybe, exactly how you are feeling. You really don't need to suffer with this alone and I'm sure that your family would rather know that you are not feeling great at the moment.
Also you can self refer for help with the nhs who will talk to you over the phone and then if you're feeling ok about it, will come out to see you, so you don't need to see your Doctor at all.
Go online and put your nearest large town:-
My town mental health self referal nhs
Just give them a call, they can help you.

aella Where is your husband when you are hiding under the stairs? Surely he can see the distress you are in and Rescue Remedy is not the answer. Physical pain will only add to your feeling of helplessness so I urge you to contact your doctor or failing that is there not one member of your family you can talk to.? How can they help if you don't let them know how you feel? Fear/ depression is NOT something to be ashamed of or to keep to yourself.

I got a lot of help by referring myself to the NHS 2gether service. It was invaluable and has made a huge difference to my life.
They talked to me on the phone a number of times which was a great help as it took a while to get face to face therapy appointments. You could find out online if they have this in your area.

Please seek help aella. It's a waste of your life to go on feeling like this when help is out there.
I hope for happier things for you. Good luck.

You need to involve your GP. At our practice they have a resident Psychologist which may help you if your practice has one. If they don’t have one they will be able to refer you to one. There is also medication available to help you. I do understand how you are feeling and that you are a private person but you should reach out and take whatever help is available to you.