Husbands dementia

Someone above suggested that PofA not needed between married partners, but I think the need for this has been amply demonstrated by Saxifrage.

We did ours years ago - we are the first named on each others', and the children are also named.

I have had a problem when discussing financial things as the credit card company, for instance, needs to speak to my OH and have him OK them discussing things with me, as he is the first named on the account. My OH has no clue at all about our finances and cannot use the phone very well, but so far, when needed, he has come to the phone to confirm that they can deal with me. It is only a matter of time before I will need to invoke the PofA in such circumstances.

Please get them done asap - and certainly before any diagnosis is reached. I did ours myself without a solicitor and had no problem doing it.

I will repeat what I said above.

A diagnosis does not mean that someone is deemed not to have capacity. Although it is important to get PoAs done it's not vital before a diagnosis.

Someone above suggested that PofA not needed between married partners, but I think the need for this has been amply demonstrated by Saxifrage

Sorry Lucky it was me
I stand corrected.
We have a Lasting POAs with the DCs. I will have to check whether they are valid between me & DH.

Beg pardon kitty - missed that. But someone certainly has to be deemed to have the mental capacity to make an unpressured decision for P of A. And I always think that it is better to get them done sooner rather than later.

We took action on ours when my mother had dementia and we saw the struggle that Dad had. He went even further than a PofA and set up a joint bank account with my brother - he put a substantial amount in it, that fully covered the funeral and assorted expenses that appeared between then and the will being sorted - e.g. service charge on his sheltered flat whilst it was being sold.

janea, if I understand correctly, your children are named on PoAs for you and DH but you are not? If that is the case, they could over rule you (or dh) in any decision making.

In reality, I was never asked to show my POA when mum was having treatment but it could happen.

Sorry if I've misunderstood your situation.

Thanks kitty I’m not sure. We made them years ago & just thought, job done.
I’ll check up on it.

I’m about to do Power of Attorney both for finance and health should anything happen while I’m having an operation. The last thing my daughter would need is the angst and awkwardness of going to court should I be unable to make decisions for myself, but I hope it is never needed! Here is a link my financial advisor sent me, I hope it helps. Good luck.

www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

Please remember the position in Scotland is not the same as in England. When we moved from Glasgow to London we had to make new POAs. Please check your facts rather than take/ give advice over the net. Some posters here live in Scotland, some in England and the two have different legal systems and laws.

You both need to take out POAs. We have had them in place since we were in our 40s. Old age is not a prerequisite for sudden (or gradual) incapacity.

DH and I have had to deal with the last years of four couples in our families and the two who did not have POAs caused us endless problems.

A particular problem you will face (we did) is where all bank accounts are joint and where the couple name different attorneys. Usually couples share trustees, including each other. In your case, as your DH is diagnosed with dementia it would be unwise to name him on your POA. Make sure you both name the same second attorney on both POAs, a child, trusted friend or, if these do not exist, a solicitor. Cheques on joint accounts must be signed by someone representing both account holders.
The alternative is to have different trustees but separate your finances and have separate bank accounts.

Also make sure that your trustees can exercise their power jointly and severally. A friend had a POA for her mother jointly with her husband, but not severally. Her DH died suddenly. This immediately invalidated the POA because one of the signatories had died and it was joint only. On top of everything else associated with her DH's death, our friend had to sort out a new POA for her mother, who by then had severe dementia, so she had to go through the Court of Protection.

But as others say talk to a solicitor. Do not discuss it with the bank, as many can tell you, they are still culpably ignorant about the law and circumstances surrounding POAs.

Excellent advice MOnica! I rechecked our POAs against your observations/advice to make sure and all seems ok.

I wonder why people are so ignorant regarding POAs. When we redid ours we needed friends who had known us for a certain time to certify we knew what we were doing, were of sound mind etc. and they could not believe it was necessary to have a POA at all! My friend's husband has already survived one stroke And is getting frailer but still sees no need for a POA as 'surely P (his wife) will be able to take care of everything'. ! Words fail me!

That is such good advice about not trusting advice from bank but seeking appropriate legal advice MOnica. In my experience most of the staff don't have a clue, and there seems to be only a few who have been trained to deal with PoA. I had to make an appointment with one when dealing with PoA for my mother, but know a few people who have been given completely incorrect advice by bank staff.

I had exactly the same problems as you Luckygirl when trying to sort out my father's POA.

Arranging the PoAs for an aunt and uncle were complicated because they had consulted their bank some years previously and as a result made all their bank accounts joint. By the time we came to sorting out the POAs they were no longer able to deal with their affairs and it couldn't be changed.

I think whilst your friends are technically correct I think they are also panicking you unnecessarily.

He can still have capacity AND be diagnosed with early dementia. There is time to sort the POAs out.

That's exactly what i said!

You could take advice from a 30 minute free session offered by many solicitors. Best get advice from professionals or those with extensive experience, e.g Alzheimers Society

We should all have a LPA, none of us know whether we will be subject to serious head injury or a condition that might rob us of our ability to manage our own affairs. You can word the LPA so that you can register it with the Court of Protection but it does not become effective until the person granting it has lost mental capacity. £500 sounds a lot to me, my mother's accountant did hers for less than half of this and it is not that difficult to do yourself. Could I suggest you both make LPAs ? your husband might acknowledge then that it is a kind of insurance that will make life much easier for your family in the future rather than something which will cause him emotional distress now.