OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Morning lucky. Try to enjoy your grandson today and revisit this problem refreshed......or exhausted in a different way.

I second grannya’s suggestion of contacting your MP. It has worked in my family when faced with an unacceptably long wait for surgery (over 2 years - this was before the ruling that no wait for surgery must be longer than 1 year). A letter to our MP with a copy to the hospital miraculously produced a prompt appointment.

But today, Lucky, please just try to enjoy your grandson, and your time away from the situation xx

As others I was appalled at the Social Worker, no advice from me as others know no much more, just sending love to you all and a hope that good sense and care prevail.

Lucky

Lucky I am so sad that after all your efforts you are still in this horribly frustrating situation. I really feel for you as your situation echoes so many of my own experiences; it is completely emotionally exhausting.

I have no wish to complicate things or add to your burdens, but when I get to the stage you're now at I contact my MP's surgery (or occasionally a local District Councillor). Faced with situations like the one you're in now MP's tend to be appalled and do usually take action. Also, just saying to decision makers that you have contacted your MP often 'clarifies' otherwise intractable issues. Maybe give it a try if you can summon up the will?

Thinking of you as i settle down for the night, lucky, I’m glad you’ve got a supportive family around you. Enjoy that wee boy and let him lift yiur spirits for an hour or so in the knowledge others are looking our for your dh. I hope tomorrow’s an easier day all round

So good that you have your DDs to help you Luckygirl. Try and switch off from it all tomorrow and enjoy your time with your GS.

I wish that I had some words of wisdom to offer, I'm not surprised that you 'fell apart' this evening, I wish you a quiet night and a better tomorrow

I am afraid I fell apart completely this evening and had to be picked up by my DDs - what do people do who are not privileged to have such wonderful young people nearby? I so feel for them. They are going to do the visiting tomorrow and I will look after my lovely wee GS for an hour or so while one of them visits - he is such a tonic and I am sure that will help me.

Oh Lucky I am in despair for you and your poor Husband , I hope they can keep him in the ward till they get something organised .
I hated it when they "had" to speak in front of Jim , if they could even include him in the conversation , but when it distresses him so much surely they can take you to an office to thrash stuff out

Oh Lucky this just gets worse and worse. It has become a total nightmare for you and you seem to be just going round in circles. I can't believe they can treat people the way they are treating you and your DH.

Heavens above, you even know the system and yet you are being browbeaten - telling them that what they are proposing is illegal is just falling on deaf ears . What on earth happens to those who have no idea, and don't know how to fight their corner?

Can you possibly ask for an extension of his stay in the ward he is currently in? He seems to be being pushed from pillar to post with such speed, no wonder the poor man is in such a state, he's not being given a chance to relax and gather his thoughts.

I hope you are getting some support Lucky - you must take care of yourself, make sure you eat, rest and keep your strength up.

No practical advice Lucky, but I feel for you and the horrible situation you are in. x

I’m aghast.....I think I would insist on seeing his PD consultant and demand a care assessment. If they say no contact the CQC? They are breaking the law and also not putting him at the centre of his treatment. His treatment at this hospital can’t get any worse so it’s make a full complaint time.

There is a legal company who specialises in care assessments and CC cases for people who don’t have their full voice - they were really helpful to me. I will find their details and pm you. Their focus is on making health authorities follow legal processes and to stop abuse like your husband is experiencing.

I’ll find the details and pm you. I’m so sorry!

This is so appalling and tragic- poor you. Yes, do speak to the Consultant again, if he knows your OH and he trusts him.

Surely, even if they have a contract with one
agency, if they haven't got the staff to do the job- then they have to agree to going elsewhere.

It is totally and absolutely wrong, and as you say, illegal - but I'd be tempted, if you can at all afford it- to pay privately and create a massive stink at a later stage.

I just cannot believe you are having to go through this- I am so so sorry. Hugs - try to get some sleep or at least rest. xxx

That is a nightmare, Luckygirl. I know two people with family members also caught up in the web of the NHS and SS and it's dystopian, it really is. My heart goes out to you. .

What a shambles lucky. I don't blame you needing a day off. I know you know all about it but is there someone who can advocate for you.

Can you contact your local PD society to see if they can help?

I know your DH went to a hospice - is there any chance he could go there while you get things sorted?

Maybe not even worth thinking about - someone who knows what they are talking about will be along in a bit.

(((Hugs)))

Oh Lucky that is heartless isn’t it?
Can you speak to the PD consultant again and see if your OH can remain on the ward he’s on for a while longer?

I am at the end of my tether here and just don't know what to do. It has been such a dreadful day. It is just making me ill.

He is still paranoid and confused - he thinks people are being processed on the ward and disposed of down a chute, and that there are gases and things dissolving his limbs. But in between this lot he can be relatively lucid.

We were told that he would go home with a package of care of 2 carers 4 times a day - that this is free (joint NHS and SSD funded) and also includes physio visits and could continue for up to 6 weeks. After that he would need care, either funded by continuing health care (NHS) or by a means-tested social care plan.

So, today the social worker breezes in and says we have just had an MDT meeting, the upshot of which is that they cannot offer this any more as the care agency associated with the scheme has insufficient carers (and they cannot use another agency). So.....they plan to ship him off to the same unit that he did not want before (and the consultant agreed was inappropriate) for intensive rehab TODAY (I have a sense of deja vu here) to create a situation where he might not need 2 carers - Poor OH has already made his feelings clear about going there. He just wants to go home. I did point out to them that he is not a parcel!

She then said they could do a social needs assessment and a means test and put in carers from agencies that they deal with, but we would have to pay towards it if the means test decreed this. I did venture to tell her that this is actually illegal - that a health needs assessment for continuing care funding has to be done before they can means test for "social needs." Even if we went down this route she said we would have to accept care from their chosen agencies - and once again I had to explain to her that this is not true - that there is a "direct payments" scheme under which we can choose who we have.

Now here is the rub....they will not do the health needs assessment in an acute hospital but only either at home or in a community hospital. How mad is that? You get assessed for your health needs when you are already home even though you cannot be at home without the care.

So I have no choice but to go down the social needs assessment and means test even though it is illegal - they have got me over a barrel.

Because the "client" must be involved they are talking about all this in front of my OH and he is becoming increasingly agitated.

I just despair of it all - I rally feel quite ill over it. He has already endured appalling care in one ward and now they want him out of where he is, but there seems to be some sort of dystopian world where noting makes any sense any more.

If he was eligible for the scheme outlined to us initially, then why should he now not be eligible just because one care agency happens not to have the capacity - they refuse to try another. Am I going crazy here, or is this utterly mad?

I am planning not to go in and visit tomorrow as I have reached my end here.

oh my, Lucky, thank goodness you haven't lost your SOH - despite all this ordeal. xxx

I now have a picture in my head of said delivery bloke, trousers round his ankles, sitting on toilet your hallway Lucky!

Oh dear, sounds as if you're going to be a bit incommoded

And a photo or short video? On second thoughts, perhaps not.

We await your report!

Luckygirl
Something for you to look forward to at last!!

I do hope you will not be expected to empty and clean it Luckygirl!!!!!